Our Lady of 121st Street: Jesus Hopped the A Train; In Arabia, We'd All Be Kings

by Stephen Adly Guirgis

Overview

Stephen Adly Guirgis has been hailed as one of the most promising playwrights at work in America today. A masterful poet of the downtrodden, his plays portray life on New York's hardscrabble streets in a manner both tender and unflinching, while continually exploring the often startling gulf between who we are and how we perceive ourselves. Gathered in this volume is his current off-Broadway hit, Our Lady of 121st Street, a comic portrait of the graduates of a Harlem Catholic school reunited at the funeral of a beloved teacher, along with his two previous plays: the philosophical jailhouse drama Jesus Hopped the A Train and In Arabia, We'd All Be Kings, an Iceman Cometh for the Giuliani era that looks at the effect of Times Square's gentrification on its less desirable inhabitants.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781429921701
Publisher:	Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Publication date:	11/05/2003
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	320
File size:	343 KB

About the Author

Stephen Adley Guirgis is an actor and playwright. A member of the LABrynth Theater Company and the MCC Playwrights Coalition, Guirgis is the recipient of new play commissions from South Coast Repertory and The Manhattan Theatre Club. He lives in New York City.

Stephen Adley Guirgis is an actor and playwright. A member of the LABrynth Theater Company and the MCC Playwrights Coalition, Guirgis is the recipient of new play commissions from South Coast Repertory and The Manhattan Theatre Club.  He is the author of the plays Our Lady of 121st Street, Jesus Hopped the A Train, In Arabia, We’d All Be Kings, and The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, all published by Faber. He lives in New York City.

Read an Excerpt

Our Lady of 121st Street

Jesus Hopped the A Train and in Arabia, We'd All Be Kings

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By Stephen Adly Guirgis

Faber and Faber, Inc.

Copyright © 2003 Stephen Adly Guirgis
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4299-2170-1

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CHAPTER 1

ACT I: LATE MORNING

Scene 1: Ortiz Funeral Home. Main viewing room. Balthazar and Vic stand in front of an empty casket.

VIC: What kinda fuckin' world is this?!

BALTHAZAR: Mmm.

VIC: I mean, am I alone here?!

BALTHAZAR: "Alone," "not alone" —

VIC: What did she ever do anyway, huh?! What did Rose ever do till the day she died but be a fuckin' living saint on this earth to deserve this ... this sacrilege!

BALTHAZAR: Sister Rose was a good woman.

VIC: There are limits — I don't give a shit! Maybe you grew up in a godless jungle, but I remember when the world was not this! And this? This is not the world!

BALTHAZAR: Okay.

VIC: Her fuckin' father, he should rot in hell! That's first off! Demons should shit in his mouth daily, the Irish punk! Don't take much guts to beat on a woman, ya get me?

BALTHAZAR: I wasn't aware of her history —

VIC: Why you think she became a nun anyway, beautiful girl like that? All this "needle exchange," "alcoholic drunk tank" she had runnin' up here? "Gangs" this, "stop the violence" that? All that thankless shit she did? Was it because she was a good person? Sure. But if ya look underneath it all, it's two things: she donned the habit because she was terrified of intimacy, and all them programs was a way to atone for the sins of her fuckin' piece-of-dirt Shanty-Irish Mick-fuck father!

BALTHAZAR: Hey, what's your name?

VIC: My name?

BALTHAZAR: Yeah, friend, tell me your name.

VIC: It's Victor. Why?

BALTHAZAR: You wanna drink, Vic? A little nip? Take the edge off?

VIC: I prefer to keep my edge on, pal.

(BALTHAZAR drinks from a half-pint bottle.)

BALTHAZAR: Gotta ask you about your pants, Vic.

VIC: My pants?

BALTHAZAR: You are aware that you're not wearing pants?

VIC: Of course I'm aware — they stole 'em!

BALTHAZAR: Where'd you sleep last night, Vic?

VIC: I slept here last night, and my name is Victor, not Vic.

BALTHAZAR: That's quite uncommon, isn't it? A mourner sleeping over at a wake?

VIC: What are you, a cop?

BALTHAZAR: No, Vic, I'm a farmer. I came here to sell some eggs.

VIC: You accusing me of something?!

BALTHAZAR: I'm sorry. I'm not accusing, sir, just, I get a call, I come here, there's a man ranting in his underwear, a missing corpse, no sign of forced entry — and it's not the corpse of Ned the Wino or Bobo the Clown that's been stolen, it's our Sister Rose, sir. Sister Rose.

VIC: Look, I came over in the mornin' yesterday, it was a fuckin' mad house in here, okay?! Crackhead junkies, politicians, reporters, screaming babies, I had ta leave. I came back at closin', tossed the funeral guy a couple hundred bucks ... I wanted, I needed a little time, all right?!

BALTHAZAR: Okay.

VIC: I knew her my whole life since we were six, for Christ's sake.

BALTHAZAR: I understand.

VIC: These fuckin' people, yesterday? Some of them showin' up in dirty jeans and T-shirts?! Eating pizza?! Little kids with video games makin' loud electrical noises?! I mean, "What goes on here," no?! ... I saw one mothahfuckah kneelin' in front of Rose's casket, he's prayin', then his fuckin' cell phone goes off and he ... he fuckin' answers it!! Has a goddamn conversation in Spanish, and not a short one ... Talkin' loud too — "Mira, mira, mira" — kneelin' over her fuckin' casket!! I mean, what the fuck is that, mister?! Can you tell me?! Cuz I'm at a loss over here —

BALTHAZAR: Grief takes different forms.

VIC: That ain't grief! I don't know what the fuck that is, but it ain't grief!

BALTHAZAR: I once knew a guy — hey now, listen ta me.

VIC: I'm here.

BALTHAZAR: True Story: I once knew a guy, a coupla detectives went to his apartment to inform him that his son had been raped and murdered in the playground up on a hundred thirty-seventh —

VIC: Jesus ...

BALTHAZAR: You know what his reaction was? And keep in mind this is a man who loved his son dearly, okay? His reaction was: He wouldn't leave the house to I.D. the body until after the Knicks game was over ... It was "the playoffs," he said. They watched the whole fourth quarter together in silence. He served them ham sandwiches with warm beer. And this is a man who lived ... for his son.

(BALTHAZAR takes another swig from his bottle.)

BALTHAZAR: I am going to close this casket now. You are going to go outside and speak to my partner. He will secure you a new pair of pants. Where you live, Vic? Brooklyn? Queens?

VIC: Staten Island.

BALTHAZAR: We'll have a squad car drive you home.

VIC: I'm here for the duration.

BALTHAZAR: Okay. Crime Scene needs to work through this room now, Vic. When they're done, the room will be open again. Okay?

VIC: Fine.

BALTHAZAR: My partner's outside in front of a black-and-gray Ford. Ya can't miss him, he's Chinese and he walks with a pronounced limp.

VIC: For the record, I had nuthin' to do with this.

BALTHAZAR: I don't think that you did.

VIC: Just make sure you catch the mothahfuckah.

BALTHAZAR: Sister Rose was my teacher. I liked her very much.

VIC: Ya know, if Rudy were still in office, this woulda never happened — I'm sure of it. He wouldn't of took this lyin' down for two seconds.

BALTHAZAR: My partner — he's right outside.

VIC: Right ... Say ... Did they ever catch that guy?

BALTHAZAR: What guy?

VIC: The guy who murdered the kid.

BALTHAZAR: No ... No, not yet.

VIC: What, uh, what ever happened to the guy with the ham sandwiches?

BALTHAZAR: The guy with the ham sandwiches?

VIC: Yeah ...

BALTHAZAR: Why? You want one?

VIC: One what?

BALTHAZAR: A ham sandwich.

VIC: Do I ...?

BALTHAZAR: It's a joke, Vic. I'm joking.

VIC: Not funny. Not funny at all.

Scene 2: The church. Walter "Rooftop" Desmond confesses.

ROOFTOP: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned ... (pause) ... a lot, know what I'm sayin? ... Yes, sir ... Um ... Are you there, Father?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: All right, juss checkin' ... That you, Father Martin?

FATHER LUX: Uh, no.

ROOFTOP: Father Cunningham?

FATHER LUX: No.

ROOFTOP: Oh ... Where Father Cunningham at?

FATHER LUX: Excuse me?

ROOFTOP: I say, where Father Cunningham at?

FATHER LUX: Father Cunningham?

ROOFTOP: Yeah.

FATHER LUX: He's — no longer with us.

ROOFTOP: Father C, you talkin' 'bout?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: "No longer with us," huh?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: Father C?

FATHER LUX: Correct.

ROOFTOP: He didn't do something "bad," did he?

FATHER LUX: He's dead.

ROOFTOP: Dead?!

FATHER LUX: With God, yes.

ROOFTOP: Well, pardon me, but — why didn't you just say that then?

FATHER LUX: What?

ROOFTOP: I'm sayin', if the man's dead, juss say he dead.

FATHER LUX: I did.

ROOFTOP: Nah, you said "no longer with us" — like ... like a "scandal" or something.

FATHER LUX: Are you here to make confession, sir?

ROOFTOP: Yes, I am, but Father C was a close, personal friend of mine, and I can't really appreciate —

FATHER LUX: Father Cunningham has been dead for fifteen years, sir, okay?!

(Pause)

ROOFTOP: Oh ... Okay ... Sorry ...

FATHER LUX: ... So how long since your last confession?

ROOFTOP: My last confession?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: The last one?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: You mean in a church?

FATHER LUX: In a church, yes.

ROOFTOP: Right. Well ... last one been ...

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: Well ... well, it's been ... Know what I'm sayin'? It's been been. Definitely been been.

FATHER LUX: Okay.

ROOFTOP: Put it like this: my first confession?, that was my last time checkin' in with y'all, so, yeah, been a while ... been ... well ...

FATHER LUX: Got it. Proceed.

ROOFTOP: Cuz I mean, ya know, my moms raised me right, went to school right upstairs, listened ta the nuns, Sister Rose and all, still ... Shit! Is Father C really dead?!

FATHER LUX: What?

ROOFTOP: Cuz I was hopin' ta get Father C.

FATHER LUX: Sir —

ROOFTOP: Guess everybody got ta go, right?

FATHER LUX: Yes.

ROOFTOP: Still, how's a man gonna up and die with no warning?

FATHER LUX: Sir —

ROOFTOP: Send a telegram, sumpthin': "Might die soon. FYI."

FATHER LUX: Perhaps you ought to collect yourself and come back later.

ROOFTOP: Hey Father, did you know that Father C one time got hit by a Mack truck but he was okay?

FATHER LUX: Sir —

ROOFTOP: See, us kids, we was playin' Booties Up on the wall across from here, but we was all standin' in the street like fools do, and —

FATHER LUX: Stop.

ROOFTOP: What, I can't relate a little anecdote?

FATHER LUX: What you can do, sir, is confess.

ROOFTOP: Confess, huh?

FATHER LUX: Confess your sins. Yes.

ROOFTOP: Dag, you all business, ain't cha, Father?

FATHER LUX: Sir —

ROOFTOP: No prelude nuthin' — just spit it out.

FATHER LUX: Sir —

ROOFTOP: — "Early birds eat apples and worms," I gotcha — got no argument wit' that.

FATHER LUX: Okay then.

ROOFTOP: You got a forthright nature, Father — no nonsense — I respect that in a man.

FATHER LUX: Oh. Well —

ROOFTOP: Still, even Hank Aaron hit a few off the practice tee before he stepped up to the rock — gotta marinate before ya grill, right?

FATHER LUX: This is not a "cook-out," sir.

ROOFTOP: No, it's not —

FATHER LUX: No charcoal, no anecdotes, no franks and beans —

ROOFTOP: True dat —

FATHER LUX: This is, in fact, a Confessional, sir. A Confessional — not a "Conversational." Do you understand that distinction?

ROOFTOP: I'll keep it moving.

FATHER LUX: Thank you.

ROOFTOP: Ok ... right: So ... So, yeah — I mean, whaddyacallit? The interVenal Sins?

FATHER LUX: Venal.

ROOFTOP: What?

FATHER LUX: Venal.

ROOFTOP: Venal yeah — mucho venal. Venal Sins. Dass daily, daily occurrence. Prolly racked up a dozen since I walked up in here ... And, uh, Mortal Sins? Mortal Sins, Father? I mean, "pick a Commandment, any Commandment," know what I'm sayin'?

FATHER LUX: How 'bout you pick one?

ROOFTOP: Oh ... okay ... uh ... Dag, Father, I'm juss, I'm juss a bad man, Father. Lyin', cheatin', stealin', and humpin' — Dag. Freebasing ... See, I'm the kind a guy — one time I ... well, there was this girl once ... Say Father, I can't smoke in here, right?

Scene 3: Flip and Gail by the bathroom — midstream

FLIP: Do not act like a faggot!

GAIL: Excuse you?

FLIP: Put your collar down!

GAIL: My collar?

FLIP: Where'd that scarf come from?! You were not wearing that scarf when we left the hotel, Gail!

GAIL: You said we were coming here as a couple, Robert!

FLIP: And I changed my mind! And you know that I changed my mind because I been tellin' you all fuckin' morning, Gail, that I changed my fuckin' mind — so just lose the scarf, do not act like a faggot, and stop calling me fuckin' "Robert"!

GAIL: What should I call you? Penelope?

FLIP: Flip, Goddamnit! For the fifty-eighth time, they call me Flip!

GAIL: Flip what? Flip a pancake? Flip a flappy Flip Flop?

FLIP: Gail —

GAIL: Maybe I should have a special name too, like ... "Rocky."

FLIP: Stop it —

GAIL: I could be "Hercules," grow a beard.

FLIP: Look! You're an "actor," right? So juss act like you're not a faggot for a few fuckin' hours if that's not fuckin' beneath you, okay?!

GAIL: Cursing.

FLIP: I will not have this today, Gail! Do you hear me? Will not have it!

GAIL: Will not have what, Robert? A relationship? A partner? The respect of the man who lies beside you at night?

FLIP: You know who I am, and you know how I feel about you!

GAIL: Do I?

FLIP: Don't do this today, Gail.

GAIL: My friends embraced you, Robert! My parents took you in!

FLIP: Your friends are all gay, Gail, and your parents trumpet my race and sexuality with unconcealed glee 'cuz it makes them feel like better liberals!

GAIL: I'm going to tell them you said that!

FLIP: Good. Why don't you hop on the next plane and tell them in person.

GAIL: Do you really mean that? Do you?

FLIP: You know what? I ain't even tryin' ta have this conversation!

GAIL: "Ain't even tryin'"?!

FLIP: Dass what I said!

GAIL: Right, "Assimilation." Going back ta the "'hood," can't be you, gotta be someone you never were.

FLIP: Careful now —

GAIL: No, Robert, you're the one who should be careful! Didn't you ever see "The Death of Sunny" with Shelley Winters?

FLIP: Gail —

GAIL: Sunny Waldman denied her Jewishness before a Nazi tribunal to avoid the death camps — and what happened to Sunny? She became a morphine-addicted harlot who ended up wandering into the forests of Bavaria to be consumed by wolves and jackals — that's what! Denial's like a pair of Prada silk pajamas, Robert — the price is just too high!

FLIP: Look, Drama Empress: Just turn it down a few notches and be here for me. Quiet and dignified. Can you do that, yes or no?!

GAIL: "Turn it down a few notches"?

FLIP: Yes or no, Gail!

GAIL: I am not a drama Empress!

FLIP: I am begging you, okay? Begging.

GAIL: On my worst day, I'm more masculine than you.

FLIP: Gail —

GAIL: I'm like a young Al Pacino: intense, soulful —

FLIP: Oh, you aren't a "young" anything, Gail! And you certainly, certainly, ain't no Al Pacino!

(INEZ exits bathroom.)

INEZ: Flip Johnson, shit!! Is that really you??!!

FLIP: Inez Smith?! Dag, girl, you're lookin' too fine! Oh, Jesus — how long it's been?

INEZ: Nevah mind all that. You look so good, Flip! How come you look so good?

FLIP: 'Cuz I'm lookin' at you, Inez Smith!

INEZ: Aw, Flip! Flip! Who's this man, Flip?

FLIP: Ah, Inez, I'd like you to meet my colleague, this is —

GAIL: Goliath. Goliath Muscleton.

INEZ: Goliath, huh?

FLIP: Goliath is one of my partners at the firm.

INEZ: Oh, well, that's nice.

FLIP: Yeah, it is.

INEZ: I guess things must be pretty progressive out there in Wisconsin. Maybe I should move there.

GAIL: What do you mean?

INEZ: I mean, a black man and a gay man, partners in the same firm —

FLIP: I'm not gay, Inez.

INEZ: I'm not talkin' 'bout you, honey, I'm talkin' 'bout Goliath here. (To GAIL) Now you stay away from my man now, girl —

FLIP: Say. How's Rooftop doin'?

INEZ: Oh, Me and Walter divorced fifteen years now, baby. I hope the bastard's got leukemia.

GAIL: (To INEZ) So I look gay to you, but "Flip" doesn't? I wonder why that is?

FLIP: Maybe 'cuz you homosexual, and I'm not. (To INEZ) Now how's that for a theory?

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Our Lady of 121st Street by Stephen Adly Guirgis. Copyright © 2003 Stephen Adly Guirgis. Excerpted by permission of Faber and Faber, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Title Page,
OUR LADY OF 121st STREET,
CAST OF CHARACTERS,
SETTING,
CHARACTERS,
ACT I: LATE MORNING,
Scene 1: Ortiz Funeral Home. Main viewing room. Balthazar and Vic stand in front of an empty casket.,
Scene 2: The church. Walter "Rooftop" Desmond confesses.,
Scene 3: Flip and Gail by the bathroom — midstream,
Scene 4: Norca and Balthazar, a hallway In the funeral home. Midstream.,
Scene 5: Edwin and Pinky, funeral home waiting room.,
Scene 6: Inez and Norca, Bar and Grill,
Scene 7: Rooftop in the Confessional,
ACT II: NIGHT,
Scene 1: Bar and Grill, 10 p.m.,
Scene 2: The Bar and Grill, 2 a.m.,
Scene 3: Main viewing room, 5 a.m.,
JESUS HOPPED THE A TRAIN,
CAST OF CHARACTERS,
SETTING,
CHARACTERS,
ACT I,
Scene 1: Manhattan Correctional Center, "The Tombs." Darkness. Late night. Angel Cruz, alone, tries to pray.,
Scene 2: Manhattan Correctional Center, legal,
consultations room. Mary Jane and Angel (beaten up) midstream.,
Scene 3: The yard. Protective custody, Rikers Island. Lucius Jenkins, an older inmate, is in an outdoor cage burning through the end of a vigorous workout. D'Amico rises from his seated post.,
Scene 4: Mary Jane speaks,
Scene 5: The yard. Protective custody, Rikers Island. Lucius Jenkins is in his outdoor cage jogging furiously in place.,
Scene 6: Manhattan Correctional Center: legal consultations room. Angel alone, more beaten up. Mary Jane enters, tentatively.,
Scene 7: The yard, protective custody. A month later. Mary Jane speaks as Lucius Jenkins and Angel Cruz are being led into their cages.,
ACT II,
Scene 1: The yard, days later.,
Scene 2: Visitations Area: Rikers Island. Two days later.,
Scene 3: Charlie D'Amico speaks.,
Scene 4: The yard, midstream.,
Scene 5,
IN ARABIA, WE'D ALL BE KINGS,
CAST OF CHARACTERS,
SETTING,
CHARACTERS,
ACT 1,
Scene 1: Monday. 3 a.m. The bar.,
Scene 2. Monday morning. 9 a.m. An office on Thirty-seventh Street.,
Scene 3: Monday. Late morning. The bar.,
Scene 4: Monday night. The bar.,
ACT 2,
Scene 1: Eighth Avenue. Tuesday, 2 a.m.,
Scene 2. The bar, Tuesday afternoon.,
Scene 3: Tuesday night. Eighth Avenue. Demaris, alone and wasted.,
ACT 3,
Scene 1: The bar. Wednesday morning,
Scene 2; Wednesday night. A park bench near the Westside Highway. Skank is nodding. Charlie enters holding a bag with a Darth Vader mask in it.,
Scene 3. Dawn. A park bench near the West Side Highway. Skank is drinking his hot chocolate. A beat. Lenny runs by with a purse.,
ACCLAIM FOR THE PLAYS OF STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS,
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS,
Copyright Page,