Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

by Tristan Taormino
Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

by Tristan Taormino

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Overview

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781573442954
Publisher: Start Publishing LLC
Publication date: 05/01/2008
Pages: 346
Sales rank: 627,289
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Tristan Taormino is an American feminist author, columnist, sex educator, activist, editor, speaker, radio host, and pornographic film director.

Table of Contents


Introduction: Opening Up to the Possibilities: Challenging Monogamy and Revolutionizing Relationships     XIII
The Decline of Marriage and Monogamy
Monogamy's Mythology
Nonmonogamy as an Alternative Choice
My Research
Reading Opening Up
Choosing an Open Relationship
Pilots, Parties, and Polyamory: A Brief History     1
Swinging
Open Marriage
Multilateral Marriage
Gay Bathhouses and Sex Clubs
Lesbian Collectives and Sex Wars
Polyamory
Myths about Nonmonogamy     13
Is an Open Relationship for You?     19
Self-evaluation
Why People Choose Open Relationships
What Makes an Open Relationship Work?     33
Consent
Self-awareness
Communication
Honesty
Boundaries
Trust
Fidelity and Commitment
Styles of Open Relationships
Partnered Nonmonogamy     51
Definition
Examples
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Swinging     61
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Swinging Styles
Community
Etiquette
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyamory     71
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Hierarchical Poly
Nonprimary Partners
Nonhierarchical Poly
Nonsexual Poly Relationships
Solo Polyamory     87
Definition
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyfidelity     95
Definition
Benefits of Polyfidelity
Negotiation and Potential Issues
Monogamous/Nonmonogamous and Mono/Poly Combinations     111
Definition
Consent and Agreement
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Creating and Sustaining Your Relationships
Designing Your Open Relationship     121
Drawing the Outline
Filling in the Details
Negotiation
Rules and Agreements
The Myth of Equality
The Relationship Contract
Jealousy and Other Intense Feelings     153
Jealousy
Envy
Insecurity
Possessiveness
Feeling Excluded
Coping with Jealousy
Fear of Abandonment
Resentment
Compersion     173
Common Challenges and Problems     183
New Relationship Energy
Time Management
Miscommunication
Agreement Violation
Seeking Help
Opening Up Again: When Something Changes     203
A New Desire
A New Orientation
A New Relationship
Falling in Love
From Monogamous to Nonmonogamous
From Nonmonogamous to Monogamous
From Primary To Nonprimary
Coping with Change
Coming Out (or Not), Finding Community, Creating Families     227
Benefits of Coming Out
Risks of Coming Out
Deciding What's Right for You
Your Coming Out
Finding Community
Families, Tribes, and Networks
Raising Children     249
Benefits and Risks of Coming Out to Children
What to Consider Before You Tell Them
How to Tell Them
Practical Issues
Safer Sex and Sexual Health     263
Safer Sex
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Legal and Practical Issues     285
Housing Laws
Property Ownership
Employment Benefits
Legal Designations and Documents
Children
The Future of Relationships     295
Appendixes
Notes     301
Resource Guide     311
Books
Conferences and Events
GLBT/Queer
Local and Regional Organizations
National Organizations
Online Groups and Lists
Poly-friendly Professionals
Research and Activism
Spirituality
Websites
About the Interviewees     337
About the Author     345
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