Table of Contents
Foreword
Introduction
THE PROBLEM
Chapter 1: Meltdowns: When rewards and punishments are not enough
- What is a meltdown?
- The usual parenting advice: start with rules and consequences
- The limits of discipline: when rewards and punishments no longer work
- But aren’t meltdowns just manipulative behavior?
- Can we really expect no more meltdowns?
- An overview of the four-step model for reducing meltdowns
Chapter 2: What are meltdowns made of?
- Fight, flight or freeze response
- Temperament
- Difficulties with abstract thinking and perspective taking
- Inflexibility
- An explosive combination
THE SOLUTION
Chapter 3: Accepting and appreciating our children
- Controlling our own frustration
- Building competence
- Avoiding learned helplessness
- The 80/20 rule
- Anticipating frustration as part of learning
- When to avoid power struggles
Chapter 4: De-escalating a meltdown
- How to de-escalate a meltdown
- Distractions
- When too much distraction can make things worse
- Helping children find their own distractions and calming strategies
- Steps for creating self-calming strategies
Chapter 5: Understanding why repeat problems occur
Understanding the triggers
- The ABCs of behavior: Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence
- Getting the ABCs: Interviews and observations
- Seeing the pattern
Chapter 6: Creating a prevention plan
- The components of a good prevention plan
- A prevention plan for Kevin
- The four types of meltdown situations
- Plans for the Four Types of Meltdown Situations
Chapter 7: Demands
- Do your schoolwork
- Try it, it’s delicious
- Hurry up, the bus is coming
- Clean up
- Let’s go to the party
Chapter 8: Waiting
- Just wait
- You can’t always get what you want
- Okay, time to stop playing
Chapter 9: Threats to self-image
- Winning isn’t everything
- It’s okay to make mistakes
- But names will never hurt you
Chapter 10: Unmet wishes for attention
- I can’t play with you now
- Don’t be jealous
- Time to go to bed
Chapter 11: Closing thoughts: Finding your own way
References