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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781878990587 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Howard Books |
| Publication date: | 03/01/1996 |
| Edition description: | Original |
| Pages: | 214 |
| Sales rank: | 742,880 |
| Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.50(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Never Lick a Moving Blender
By Marvin Phillips
Howard Books
Copyright © 1996 Marvin PhillipsAll right reserved.
ISBN: 9781878990587
Chapter One
Never Lick a Moving Blender!
He had the most pitiful expression on his face you ever saw. I'm talking about
Grimm—Mother Goose's dog—from the comic strip by the same name. He's a
pitiful looking thing anyway. He's always getting into trouble—drinking from the
toilet, hunting lunch in a garbage can, and other deplorables.
This time he went too far, and the picture told the whole story. Most comic strips have
three or four frames. Today there was only one. Grimm was at the far left. The blender was
at the far right. Grimm's tongue stretched the full distance between, caught in a
tangled mess around the blades of that blender. The caption said it all. It preached the
sermon and gave this advice: "Never lick a moving blender!"
How many times have you made Grimm's mistake? You can follow his thought process
as he spots that blender at work. Looks good. Smells right. Intent harmless. But the
effort wasn't worth the pain.
Lots of things in life are like that. Kids disobey their parents. They don't
really mean any harm; they're just having a little fun. They don't want to hurt
anyone, but disobedience gets to be a habit. Before long it seeps into the classroom.It
extends to the community. A little theft occurs here and there. Looks okay. Smells right.
Just seems like a little fun that brings a few kicks. Nobody really gets hurt.
We all expect to be the exception to the rule, but what we expect and what we get are
sometimes vastly different. Our tongues get caught in the blenders of life. There's a
bunch of pain we hadn't counted on. We become one more statistic proving the old
adage that "crime does not pay!"
Don't Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face
There are lots of sayings that call to us—clichés that click, pointers that
really point somewhere. Here's another one: "Don't cut off your nose to
spite your face." It means don't retaliate when it will hurt you more than it
will help the situation.
Remember the story? One guy holds his finger against a brick wall. He says to his
friend, "Hit my finger." Of course he moves his finger at the last minute and
the friend's fist hits hard, rough bricks, skinning his knuckles. To get revenge, the
friend says, "See if you can hit this." And he holds his forefinger against his
own nose. Pow!
You wouldn't be so dumb would you? But you might hold a grudge against someone.
You might say, "I'll get you back if it's the last thing I ever do!"
Grudges always hurt the "grudger" more than the "grudgee." Our
attempts at revenge hurt us more than they help. You stay away from the family reunion
because someone will be there who has done you wrong. You quit church because someone hurt
you or because you didn't agree with some decision that was made.
Never give anyone the power to affect the peace and harmony of your life. Staying away
from that reunion can affect scores of people. Damage may be done for years to come.
Quitting the church because of something someone else did is a lot like getting mad at
the dog and kicking the cat. The church belongs to Jesus. He died for it. He bought it
with his blood. Don't let anyone affect your response to the amazing grace of the
cross.
Don't Drown Your Sorrows in Alcohol!
Your problems seem insurmountable. You don't think you can go on. You want to
throw up your hands and throw in the towel. You've had it. You're at the end of
your rope; so you head for the bottle.
Your intentions are good. You need the escape. Problems look different through the
bottom of a whiskey bottle. If you drink enough, hey, problems will disappear. Everything
will be different. But you can't drown your sorrows. They float! And the result
won't be worth it.
When you wake up from that drunken stupor, your problems will still be there, only they
will have multiplied. Where is my car? Does it have all the fenders? What am I doing in
this room? This bed? Who is this woman? What am I going to do now?
The question is not, "Where can I run?" The questions ought to be, "How
can I fix this? How can I get my job back? How can I hold my marriage together? Lord, what
will you have me do?"
Everything is based on cause and effect. Each decision causes a specific result.
We've got to face that. It's like the light switch on the wall. You can't
switch it off and expect the light to come on. "There is a way that seems right to a
man, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12).
If You Want Strawberries, Don't Plant Broccoli
We all want the same outcome—to be happy and to end up with a reasonable measure
of health, wealth, and happiness. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man
reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7). Broccoli seeds won't produce strawberries.
Seeds are strange little things—they teach us a lot about life. They don't
grow unless they are planted. And good news: we can plant what we want. If we want
watermelons, we plant watermelon seed. If we want strawberries, we've got to plant
strawberries. The problem is that some people want to plant one thing and reap another. We
want one result, but we do what brings the opposite result. We want to plant immorality
and reap respectability. We want to plant dishonesty and reap a reputation of integrity.
It simply doesn't work that way.
And seeds are powerful. I have a 175-foot driveway. Every year I battle grass that
grows right up through the asphalt. It's great to know that if the right seeds are
planted in the right place, you'll get the desired result.
It's also true with life. We can plant whatever we choose, from our attitudes, to
our reactions, to our responses. Don't plant bitterness and expect to reap
tenderness. Don't neglect your family today and expect them to lovingly gather around
you in your later years. Don't dissipate your body with alcohol and drugs and expect
the joys of good health when you grow old. "You may be sure that your sin will find
you out" (Numbers 32:23).
It doesn't matter who the planter is. It's a law of sowing and reaping. Once
we learn this fantastic principle, we can decide what we want. Then we plant the words,
decisions, and actions that are necessary. The end result should be what we wanted in the
first place.
Don't Try to Leap a Chasm in Two Jumps
It was obviously his first airplane ride. We were enroute from Los Angeles to Honolulu.
In his nervousness he asked the flight attendant, "Miss, is this a nonstop
flight?" With a knowing smile she replied, "I sure hope so."
Leaping a chasm in two jumps is impossible, and so is living without love. But some
attempt the impossible anyway. They are afraid to love, afraid they'll be hurt.
They've been hurt before; so, now they're "once burned, twice shy."
They don't want to repeat the experience; so they choose to keep their feelings to
themselves. They choose not to express their love in words or actions because they think
they are safer that way.
But the end result is toughness on the outside and rot on the inside. Sure love is
vulnerable. Sure you can get hurt if you love. But the alternative is not worth it. Living
without love is not living at all.
Some attempt another impossible task—they try to live without giving. Someone has
said there are three philosophies about your possessions:
- What's mine is mine and you can't have it!
- What's yours is mine if I can get it!
- What's mine is yours if you need it!
The first two don't lead anywhere worthwhile.
The first Christians had the right philosophy. "They gave to anyone as he had
need" (Acts 2:45). "No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but
they shared everything they had" (Acts 4:32).
Jesus taught, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down,
shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you
use, it will be measured to you" (Luke 6:38).
Preachers sometimes misunderstand this verse. They see the word give and immediately
pass the collection plates. But the word money is not in that verse. In fact, it
doesn't appear anywhere in the chapter. It's a principle. It applies to
everything.
Do you want trouble? Give it and you'll get plenty of it back. Do you want love
and affection, good relationships, and a good marriage? Do you want health, wealth, and
happiness? The verse says "give and it will be given you." And the return will
be "a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over."
This is especially true in marriage. Two simple things are of vital importance for a
happy, successful marriage: study your mate, and give your mate everything he or she
needs.
We are really simple creatures. Write down what it takes to please you. What do you
need from your mate? You'll write things like, "I need to be loved,"
"I need affection," "I need to feel needed," "I want to feel a
part of his life." Before you have written five things, they will already be
overlapping. And the Bible promises you'll get much more than you give.
Poor old Grimm. His intentions were good. He didn't want to hurt anybody. And for
sure, he didn't want to hurt himself. I think he learned a painful lesson. Hopefully
you have too. At least the next time you're around a moving blender, don't lick
it!
Continues...
Excerpted from Never Lick a Moving Blender by Marvin Phillips Copyright © 1996 by Marvin Phillips. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
| Foreword | |
| Preface | |
| Acknowledgments | |
| 1 | Never Lick A Moving Blender |
| 2 | Chippie Doesn't Sing Much Anymore |
| 3 | The Fine Art of Frog Kissing |
| 4 | Turn It Loose! |
| 5 | Keep Your Cotton Pickin' Hands Off My Pickup Truck |
| 6 | How to Get a Turtle on a Fence Post |
| 7 | Never Wrestle with a Pig |
| 8 | Get Off Your Duff and Go |
| 9 | A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet |
| 10 | Don't Follow Me, I'm Lost! |
| 11 | If You Want to Run with the Big Dogs, You've Got to Get Off the Porch |
| 12 | They've Just Slapped My Other Cheek |
| 13 | Keep Your Head in the Game! |
| 14 | Broccoli Can Kill |
| 15 | A Survival Plan for Planet Earth |
| 16 | Are You a Hot Dog or Just a Weenie? |
| 17 | Ten Things You Can Become That Don't Cost Money or Take Brains, but Other Folks Need and Will Pay You More Than They Cost |
| 18 | It Was Spring, but I Wanted Summer |
| 19 | The Fresh Breeze of Integrity |
| 20 | Alone but Not Lonely |
| 21 | Don't Let Me Die 'Til I'm Dead |
| 22 | You're Only as Rich as Your Relationships |
| 23 | America the Beautiful |
| 24 | The Operation Was a Success, but the Patient Died |
| 25 | The Party |