Natural Mental Health: How to Take Control of Your Own Emotional Well-Being

by Carla Wills-Brandon

Overview

In language that is easy to understand and practical for everyday living, this guide presents a number of simple solutions to numerous specific mental health concerns. It covers topics ranging from depression, self-esteem and sexuality to addictions, anxiety states and even divorce.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781561707270
Publisher:	Hay House Inc.
Publication date:	12/28/2000
Pages:	305
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

EMOTIONAL HEALING THE NATURAL WAY

As usual, it was a great party. Karla, the host of this grand extravaganza, was an expert party organizer. Her parties were always a hit, with never a dull moment. The mood was high, as an old Beatles tune blared out of the backyard speakers. Karla was moving at top speed to make sure that every one of her guests was having a spectacular time. The swimming pool was full of laughing children, splashing away under a light, late-summer sprinkle of rain. Most of the adults had escaped the misty seaside weather by taking refuge under a variety of bright, multicolored patio umbrellas located around the pool.

    As I watched my youngest son bear down on his big brother with a rather large, bright-green water shooter, Karla lightly tapped me on the back and asked, "Have you met my friends over there?" Following her line of sight, I rested my eyes upon a very pretty earth-mother sort of woman, sitting next to an extremely thin, sick-looking man. As I noted the couple with interest, I replied to Karla, "Not yet."

    As the evening wore on, I was eventually introduced to this man and woman. While we visited, I noted that underneath his white shirt, the man had a small bag attached to an opening in his abdominal wall. During our conversation, I learned that this poor guy had had several feet of intestine removed from his stomach and that he was gearing up for his second hip replacement surgery. The steroids he was taking to control his ailment had caused premature osteoporosis and brittle bones. Emotionally, he appeared extremelybitter and depressed. While the group continued to talk, I leaned over to Karla and whispered, "Gee, he's only 38, and he's already had several serious major surgeries." I then quietly wondered if he had Crohn's Disease. Being very familiar with this illness, I knew that if I had not taken responsibility for my own healing, this scenario could have been mine.

    About 15 years ago, I discovered I was suffering from the aforementioned debilitating condition. After the doctors stuck tubes and scopes up and down every orifice of my body, they withdrew what seemed like gallons of blood from my veins and then pumped my intestines full of a chalky white substance. Then they sat me down and told me that my condition was serious.

    Chronic diarrhea, headaches, excruciating spasms, vomiting, depression, exhaustion, and nausea are just a few of the symptoms of the illness. The accompanying depression can be as painful as the physical agony. My choices for treatment were even more depressing. Steroids, the typical mode of traditional treatment, eventually destroys bone tissue, while leaving the sufferer constantly on edge emotionally. Surgery involves removal of damaged, ulcerated sections of the digestive tract. This extreme measure provides only temporary relief, because at the same time, the illness can invade another area of intestine. This leaves scar tissue that can cause a narrowing of the passageway.

    The orthodox physicians handling my case recommended the traditional program of treatment. This involved large doses of narcotics along with the strong, toxic steroids. Upon hearing this, I simply felt crushed. One year before, I had checked myself into a drug and alcohol center to cleanse myself of all of the medications I had been taking for this physical condition. After working so hard to "clean up," the thought of returning to that lifestyle pushed me to tears. With much sadness and a deep sense of hopelessness, I gave up personal control. With regard to the steroids, I did what the medical professionals told me to do. Thankfully, something deep inside my soul totally rebelled against the narcotics. Today I'm grateful that I listened to the voice within.

    After writing my first book, I went on the lecture circuit. The traveling was exhausting, and the Crohn's Disease was debilitating. The steroids were not helping my condition and were affecting my emotional state. I was constantly irritated, and my mind was racing. To be completely honest, I felt like a real nut case. While in Nashville, Tennessee, for a national conference on Adult Children of Alcoholics, I found the physical and emotional pain of my condition unbearable. It was obvious that the orthodox treatment was not working. I was growing weaker and was feeling extremely sick. I didn't know how I was going to make it through eight hours of lecturing, and jokingly said to my husband, "Well, I guess it's time for me to start making funeral plans. No white lilies, please. I want red roses on my coffin." Although I said this in a joking manner, deep inside I didn't think I would see my 40th birthday.

    My time has not run out. I am over 40, and today I can honestly say that I'm physically fit, emotionally at peace, and spiritually alive. My case wasn't hopeless. There were many answers out there, available for the taking. How did this change occur? Quite simply, I decided to take personal responsibility for my own physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. This required becoming directly involved with my own healing process. Passivity was no longer an option.

    Over a five-year period, I completely altered my lifestyle and explored a variety of holistic methods of healing. Because the Crohn's Disease had scarred the walls of my intestines, I was not able to absorb the nutrients necessary for maintaining health. In order to rectify this situation, I began to study the digestive tract, vitamin supplements, herbs, and alternative dietary programs. With the aid of herbs such as slippery elm and aloe vera juice, I was able to begin to heal my poor gut. Eventually, steroids were no longer necessary, but my digestive tract was still weak. I began taking mega-doses of vitamins in a form that provided easy absorption, and immediately my energy began to increase.

    Looking at my diet, I knew that major changes were necessary. An alternative health caregiver suggested that I investigate the possibility of food allergies. I discovered that many of the foods I regularly included in my diet were partially responsible for the flaring up of the Crohn's Disease. These food products made healing almost impossible. Today, I abstain from wheat, dairy, and meat products. If I reintroduce these foods into my diet, I can count on relapsing into the disease.

    Dealing with the physical body was only the beginning of my healing process. Emotionally, I carried a great deal of anger and was having difficulty releasing it. This locked-up rage also fanned the flames of searing pain in my abdomen. Utilizing acupuncture, acupressure, psychotherapy, and massage therapy, I was able to discharge this emotion from my body. This, in turn, allowed my digestive tract to relax. Exploring traditional Korean martial arts also provided me with an active way to release my anger. And, incorporating herbs such as lemon balm, withania, ginseng, and lavender into my lifestyle helped me cope with the depression that had haunted me most of my adult life.

    Once my physical and emotional health began to improve, the voice inside me announced that my spirit was also in need of nourishment. By exposing myself to many alternative forms of spirituality, I discovered a number of heavenly, celestial paths. These included firewalking, yoga, meditation, aura reading, the study of ancient religions, and a host of other traditional and not-so-traditional spiritual experiences. My quest for spiritual nourishment eventually gave meaning to my existence.

    One of the most profound messages I received during this transformation validated my initial reason for beginning my venture into holistic health. The message is: "I am responsible for my physical, emotional, and spiritual health," and it is now at the base of all the decisions I make. As a professional caregiver, I try to pass this same message on to all those I serve.

    Being a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I am very aware that most of those visiting a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health professional only engage in "talk therapy." In my opinion, talk therapy, by itself, is a waste of time. One might as well flush their money down the toilet. In order for emotional health to take hold, one must be an active participant in the therapeutic process. A psychotropic drug such as an antidepressant, along with a few sessions of talk therapy, can never replace a holistic approach. Recently, I had to explain this concept to a client of mine.

The Holistic Approach Works

    Looking at the petite middle-aged woman sitting in my office, I thought to myself, Healthwise, she really is a mess! This talented artist, who made a living creating bright, colorful works of art, appeared to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually depleted. Leaking breast implants had poisoned her body. Reading through her "food journal," I saw that, nutritionally, she was starving herself. Depression would be a natural consequence. On top of all of the physical damage, she carried enough unresolved emotional distress for 20 people.

    As she searched my face for expressions of approval about her eating habits, she remarked, "I think I eat very healthy foods." Sighing to myself, I wondered how such a bright person could even begin to consider macaroni, doughnuts, bacon sandwiches, and diet soda healthy nourishment for an already toxic body.

    She then said, "All I really need is a little pill that will make me feel good, something that will pep me up a bit, lift my mood. What do you know about antidepressants?"

    Shaking my head, I sat down next to her, took her hand in mine, and bluntly said, "There are no quick fixes." Physical, emotional, and spiritual health could be hers only if she would take total responsibility for herself.

    For many visiting my office for the first time, the belief is that I will wave some sort of magic wand over them, immediately curing any physical, emotional, and spiritual pain they're experiencing. They look to me to provide quick-fix solutions. When I tell them that their healing will take time, dedication, an attitude of responsibility for themselves, and major lifestyle changes, three-fourths of these suffering men and women never return to my door. Instead, they go in search of the helping professional who will willingly encourage the use of, and even prescribe, the wanted sedative, diet pill, antidepressant, or other traditional medication. Once this temporary "mood fix" proves to be ineffective or fleeting, the emotionally distressed person will go off again in search of another magical resolution.

    The current use of medications for mental illness and adjustment difficulties such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, addictions, phobias, trauma, grief, divorce, or other life-cycle crises is at an all-time high. Drug companies are making billions of dollars from the pain of emotionally distressed people. Because they've rejected their own personal power to self-heal in exchange for the care of a physician or psychiatrist, such individuals are easy prey. In our society, we've developed a strong dependence on the medical profession. Thinking, challenging ideas, and responsibility for personal change has been replaced by blind faith in these very fallible human practitioners.

    Several months ago, a woman complained to me of a rash. After looking at this angry inflammation, I asked her if she was experiencing any emotional stress. In response, she asked, "What does that have to do with my rash?" I then suggested that her outbreak could be the by-product of an allergic reaction to something in her environment. After pausing for a moment, she said, "You know, this awful itching and burning might be related to a change I made in laundry detergent." Pondering this thought for a minute or so, she suddenly looked me straight in the eye and said, "Also, my sister-in-law has been calling me twice a day, and she's driving me nuts. I could just strangle her!"

    Upon hearing this, I said, "Maybe you might want to discharge the anger you have toward your sister-in-law by beating on a stack of pillows or writing an angry letter." I then offered to make up an herbal salve containing clove oil, tea tree oil, chickweed, and calendula for her rash. This particular herbal combination would safely take care of the itch and the redness. I also suggested that she try drinking a cup of skullcap tea or fruit juice with a passion flower tincture when feeling stressed. Both of these herbal remedies have been around for centuries and have the ability to safely relax an overanxious nervous system.

    Her immediate response was, "Oh, no, I can't do that! Beat on pillows and take herbs for a rash? No, I must let the doctor decide what it is I need to do. He'll give me a medication for the rash, and he'll probably want to put me on a tranquilizer." Although this intelligent woman holds two Ph.D.'s, when it came to her health, she was unwilling to think for herself.

* * *

    Like the woman above, too many people have made the medical and psychiatric industry all-powerful. Prozac will not make us whole. Valium will not relieve us of our emotional injuries, and none of the psychotropic medications on the market today will promote spiritual development and self-love. When the newness of the medication wears off, we will once again be confronted with ... ourselves. Although a few severely ill souls in our society do need these medications for their very existence, the majority of us can do very well without them.

    In spite of society's conditioning to turn all physical and emotional health matters over to traditional medical caregivers, we must not give up hope. This book is dedicated to those individuals who are willing to accept personal responsibility for their emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. There is a growing number of people who are investigating how holistic healing methods can work hand-in-hand with Western medicine.

    In the area of psychological wellness, the search for more natural methods for attaining a healthy state of mind has begun to take hold. Numerous mental health providers are examining methods of healing that are more in harmony with the body and with nature. Many of us are finally recognizing that total healing cannot happen if a holistic approach is ignored.

* * *

    Instead of blindly popping an antidepressant for temporary relief from a state of depression, a number of seekers are asking, "What lifestyle changes do I need to make to improve the quality of my life? How can I begin living in harmony not only with my body, but also with my emotions and my spirit? What is available to me for self-healing? Where in nature can I find those tools that will assist me on my quest for a life of well-being and personal responsibility? Are there other steps I can take to improve my emotional state before moving to a pharmaceutical drug and all of its possible side effects?"

    Over the years, I have gathered together many natural options for the advancement of mental health. I have incorporated a number of them into my psychological private practice, and the results have been stunning. During the course of my research and studies, I have discovered that there are several safe herbal remedies that can be used to calm a difficult state of mind. Not only is the use of herbs more in harmony with the natural process of the human body, but if used properly, there are few, if any, side effects. It baffles me that such remedies have been pushed aside in favor of often-toxic and dangerous psychotropic medications. A medical path should only be used when all other avenues of healing have failed.

    Since the dawn of time, herbal lore has assisted humankind. Every culture can reach back into history and retrieve stories about the village wise woman, shaman, religious leader, or witch who used herbs for the healing of mind, body, and spirit. Our own culture is rich with such lore. Native American Indians thought that herbs not only had great magical power, but that they were also the carriers of spiritual energy. As a result, herbs were honored in ceremonies and rituals, and they were used with great reverence. The purple wild iris or "blue flag" found in the marshy areas of this country was used extensively by Native Americans as a laxative; to increase urination; detoxify the body; and for acne, eczema, and constipation. Understanding that a small amount of this herb could relieve vomiting, and that a large amount of the plant would cause vomiting, furthered their respect for balance in using nature's remedies.

    Mistletoe, a parasitic plant that grows on the branches of trees, was a sacred herb of the Druids. The herb was cut out of the trees by them in a midwinter ceremony and was then passed around to villagers as a common "cure-all" remedy. Mistletoe was seen as an herb with much vitality, and as a result, was viewed as the "semen" of the oak trees in which it grew. Kissing under the sprig of mistletoe hanging over the doorway at Christmastime dates back to this belief. As a fertility charm, the herb was thought to possess magical powers.

    According to tradition, those who kiss under the evergreen plant with the sticky berries are also supposed to pick one berry for luck. (The berries are very poisonous and should never be taken internally.) Aside from its charming folklore, the dried leafy twigs of the mistletoe can be used in small amounts in an infusion (steeped tea) to soothe the nervous system, ease anxiety, promote sleep, and relieve panic attacks. Because the Druids understood that not all parts of this plant were safe for internal use, they assisted the population in the appropriate usage of this herb. They were the herbal masters of their communities, and like the Native Americans, they understood the importance of balance in using herbal remedies. Unfortunately, most individuals in our community cannot enjoy the value of this herb because they haven't the knowledge, or because they've been frightened by the risks involved in using this herb improperly. Instead, we turn to toxic medications.

* * *

    A woman recently telephoned my office in search of a referral to a psychiatrist who would prescribe an antidepressant. I asked, "Why do you think you need this medication?"

    In response, she suddenly broke down and shared, "I have three children under the age of four. My house is a mess, and I never seem to be able to get a thing done. My children suffer from earaches constantly, and I'm making monthly trips to the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics for them. These antibiotics put them in a foul mood, and they seem to suffer from a host of side effects. My poor husband is working two jobs, and I'm trying to finish up a college degree. I feel so overwhelmed." After listening to her, I felt exhausted and in need of a large cup of hot ginger tea to reenergize my spirits. I suggested that she make an appointment.

    When she showed up for our visit, I immediately recognized that she was using food to nurture herself. After she vented for a bit, I asked her about her eating habits. "I usually snack on the kids' cereals during the day, and then my husband brings home fast food for dinner." Nutritionally, her body was starving and wasn't able to provide her with the energy she needed for a busy life. I then asked her if she and her husband ever had time together away from the children, to relax and be with one another. "Oh, no, there just isn't time." Finally, I encouraged this woman to share her daily routine with me. It quickly became apparent that she didn't have a minute to herself. Emotionally, she was stressed to the edge and lived on a constant merry-go-round of caretaking from sunrise to sunset.

    With this information, I was able to offer her a few helpful suggestions. These very simple remedies included a "mother's day out" with her local church group, a regular "date night" with her husband, and involvement in a play group and an exercise class with other mothers and their children. I gave her information on diets for her children to reduce their incidences of ear infections, and recommended that everyone make new, healthy snacking selections from my "Caveman Diet" (see page 100) for those on the go. She could access more relief for herself by taking herbs that can be utilized for effectively increasing energy (including codonopsis, an herb from Chinese medicine used for more vitality); reducing stress (including lemon balm, an herb that safely eases physical tension); and easing symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (with agnus-castus, an herb that has been researched in the United Kingdom and Germany for over 30 years for its specific hormonal effect on the body). By simply improving her own diet, implementing the suggested lifestyle changes, and encouraging the daily use of certain herbs, this woman's emotional distress began to lessen.

    If the body is starving nutritionally, this will impact one's mood, decision-making processes, and sense of well-being. Diet is directly related to our emotional health. Sadly, this issue is rarely addressed by the traditional mental health provider. Most of us are unaware that Vitamin B1, found in broccoli, avocado, almonds, raisins, and rice, is useful in combating stress; or that Vitamin B12, found in beans, grains, nuts, and garlic, helps maintain a healthy nervous system. These are just 2 of 22 vitamins necessary for maintaining a healthy emotional and physical state. The majority of the population believes that the mineral calcium is only necessary for strong bones and teeth. Most of us are unaware that it also contributes to a positive state of mind. Calcium, which is found in dairy products, carrots, figs, sunflower seeds, oranges, lentils, and oats, is just one of 20 minerals that help support physical and mental health. Vitamins and minerals can be found in whole foods, herbs, and nutritional supplements.

    Lifestyle can also have a huge impact on our emotional state. Current lifestyle situations can leave us feeling depressed, prone to rage, hopeless, alone, afraid, overwhelmed, and even suicidal. An inability to effectively deal with stress, poor time-management skills, excessive alcohol or drug use, unhealthy relationships, communication difficulties, excessive work schedules (on the job and at home), limited leisure time, unresolved issues involving spiritual questions, and more can greatly contribute to feelings of dissatisfaction. This, in turn, can affect our emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness.

    Mental health is also dependent on the resolution of unresolved trauma. The trauma might involve a troubled childhood, a lost love affair, a divorce, the death of a loved one, a major job change or geographical move, caring for aging parents, difficulty in raising children, a sexual assault, or any other number of intense life experiences. Mentally pushing these experiences aside does not relieve one of the emotions. Eventually these emotions will surface again and again in the form of depression, rage, addictions, and a host of other symptoms. Simple psychological exercises can begin to address these issues.

    Those suffering from emotional pain can begin to mend themselves with active psychological healing techniques, healthy lifestyle changes, nutrition, and herbalism. Utilizing this holistic approach can have many long-term benefits. Natural Mental Health will provide you with holistic solutions to mental health issues such as attention deficit disorder (ADD), addictions, sleep difficulties, panic attacks, sexual trauma, rage attacks, and more.

    The following chapters take one emotional difficulty at a time and present a three-part healing process for that mental state. At the beginning of each chapter, the emotional issue will be described. Symptoms will be addressed, and likely causes will be presented. Techniques for addressing these psychological problems will be offered. Next, lifestyle issues will be discussed. The importance of stress levels, sleep, exercise, emotional support from others, therapy, and other healthy life factors will also be explored. Third, nutrition will be discussed, as dietary issues often play a powerful role in how we function emotionally. In that section, the use of certain herbs will be suggested.

    Since my basic message is "You are your best healer," I will encourage you to become your own herbalist and to take up the study of herbs. Today the public can buy herbs over-the-counter from health-food stores and even drugstores, but using them does require a responsible attitude. Before using any herb, always educate yourself on its properties. And, realize that although one herb may work for one particular person, it may be ineffective for another. It's always important to understand that herbs are not to be taken lightly. Some herbs, if taken inappropriately or with traditional pharmaceutical medications, can have devastating effects on the human body. In certain situations, a particular physical disorder may preclude a person from ingesting a particular herb or vitamin. If you aren't sure about a suggested herb or nutritional supplement, research it for yourself. For your education, I have provided a number of excellent books on herbs, vitamins, and more in the "Suggested Reading" section of this book.

    It's my deepest desire that Natural Mental Health will encourage you to take a more active role in your physical and emotional life. This type of action not only heals the body and mind, but it also heals the spirit. When we start to accept responsibility for our emotional health, this action, in turn, spills over into family relationships and community involvement, and heightens environmental awareness.

    Although the thought of self-responsibility may be frightening, I still strongly believe that you're ready to walk through this fear. If you weren't ready, you never would have picked up this book. You deserve to feel empowered with the knowledge that everything you need for complete health resides within you. You don't have to give up your power to a toxic drug. Remember, such drugs are a last resort. Begin to trust yourself, and listen to that small voice from within that says, "You can do it." I did, and it worked.

    My best to you as you begin your own journey of personal healing.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
PART I: UNDERSTANDING SAD AND MAD
Chapter 1: Emotional Healing the Natural Way	3
Chapter 2: Depression and Its Companions	17
Chapter 3: Raging with Anger	33
PART II: HEALING THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS
Chapter 4: Love Dependency Versus Healthy Self-Love	49
Chapter 5: Divorce: The End of a Dream	63
Chapter 6: Let's Talk about Sex	77
Chapter 7: Abusive Relationships: There Is Hope	91
PART III: DO CONTROL ISSUES CONTROL YOU?
Chapter 8: Panic Attacks: Secret Protectors	109
Chapter 9: Sleep Problems and the Fear of Giving Up
Control	123
PART IV: REVITALIZING REACTIVE KIDS
Chapter 10: Attention Deficit Disorder: Alternatives to
Ritalin	137
Chapter 11: Adolescent Acting-Out: What's It All About?	151
PART V: NO LONGER HIDING FROM LIFE
Chapter 12: Smoking: A Cover for Fear and Anger	167
Chapter 13: Addictive Behavior: Hiding from Life with
Alcohol and Drugs	181
PART VI: LOVING—AND LEAVING—FOOD
Chapter 14: Obsessive-Compulsive Eating	197
Chapter 15: Anorexia: A Slow Death	211
Chapter 16: Bulimia: Running on Empty	225
PART VII: THE BALANCED WOMAN
Chapter 17: Premenstrual Syndrome: An Opportunity to Heal	241
Chapter 18: Menopause: It Isn't a Mental Illness	255
Chapter 19: Aging: A Natural Consequence of Living	271
Afterword: This Is Only the Beginning	287
Appendix I: Healthy Body, Well Mind Diet Plan	289
Appendix II: Supplement for Health	293
Self-Help Resources	297
Suggested Reading	301
About the Author	305