My Trans Parent: A User Guide for When Your Parent Transitions

by Heather Bryant

Overview

"A heartfelt manual for those seeking to understand their transgender parent." - Kirkus

Maybe you just found out your mom, or your dad, is transgender, or maybe you've known for a while. But now what?

This guide covers everything you need to know. With chapters on navigating the changes in your family, finding community, going through the transition as a family, and much, much more, you'll see how other people have handled these experiences, and learn how you can too. From definitions to names and pronouns, you'll find all you need to support yourself and your family through the transition and beyond.

Including real-life stories from people whose parents have also transitioned, and practical advice throughout, this essential book will be your companion every step of the way.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781787751231
Publisher:	Kingsley, Jessica Publishers
Publication date:	05/21/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	304
File size:	1 MB
Age Range:	14 - 18 Years

About the Author

Heather Bryant is an award-winning writer based in New York. She grew up with a transgender parent and has spoken widely at conferences about her family. An ambassador for the "People with Transgender Parents" community with COLAGE, she runs workshops and facilitates discussions for trans families and allies.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 8

Introduction: Your Story, Too 11

Who's Who in this Book 20

Ch 1 First Steps 22

Ch 2 Coming Out or Not 53

Ch 3 The Transition 79

Ch 4 Names and Naming 100

Ch 5 The Shape of Family 118

Ch 6 Grief and Loss, Gifts and Gains 143

Ch 7 Finding Community 173

Ch 8 Dating and Family Ties 197

Ch 9 Transphobia and You 217

Ch 10 I Saw It on TV: Movies, Shows and More 241

Ch 11 The Future Is Trans-Fabulous 267

Resource Guide: Further Reading and More 283

References 298

Editorial Reviews

Growing up with queer moms I longed for a 'how to' book like this. Instead of asking and answering the basic questions all queerspawn have been asked about bullying, sexual/gender identity, and the general 'did you turn out okay?,' Heather Bryant delves into the messy feelings, complicated joys and unanswerable questions that only someone raised by a trans parent can access.

Sadie Epstein-Fine

Heather Bryant is the wiser older sister that children of all ages need when their parent transitions. Filled with practical advice and personal stories, My Trans Parent reassures, nurtures, and inspires, providing space and permission to process any and all feelings you may experience.

Lara Lillibridge

2021-01-27
Bryant offers advice to those with a transgender parent in this instructive guide.

There has been much discussion in the last few years about how parents should best accommodate their transgender children. But the opposite dynamic is a common one as well: children—be they kids or adults—who learn that their parents identify as transgender. Bryant went through this experience three decades ago, long before transgender awareness was widespread. At the time, Bryant was in the fifth grade, and she understandably had a lot of questions. Easy answers, however, were not forthcoming. The word transgender was not even used. “I thought I was the only person on the whole planet with a family like mine,” she writes in her introduction. “This book aims to fill a gap in conversations about the many shapes of families. I hope that reading this book will provide you with a built-in community of people like you.” When a parent transitions, it doesn’t just mean a change for them. It’s a change for the entire family. While that change should not be viewed as negative, it can often result in feelings of confusion or uncertainty for other family members, especially the trans parent’s children. By sharing stories from her own experience, as well as the experiences of people from around the world who have also gone through this process, Bryant prepares the reader for what to expect. It isn’t only a matter of getting used to a parent’s new look, new name, or new pronoun. There are logistical issues, like whether or not the parent “comes out,” possible divorces or new partners, and the realities of transphobia. There are a number of mental shifts that can occur, altering the child’s perspective of their parent, themselves, and the world. As Bryant reminds the reader early on, “It’s your transition, too.”The book is essentially a What To Expect When You’re Expecting for those with a transitioning parent, tipping the reader off to the situations that may arise while providing them with the tools needed to navigate them. Bryant’s prose is chatty and reassuring, elucidating the ins and outs of the transition process: “If our parents don’t want to be out in the community, they might not want to connect with other families. It might be something we seek out for ourselves. Mostly, it’s about finding people who say, ‘Yeah, I’ve been there and this is how I got through.’ ” She moves frequently among the stories of several families, and the reader gets to know them over the course of the book. Each chapter ends with prompts meant to generate reflection about the reader’s own family situation. The book also includes a large glossary of transgender-related terms—a necessity for a subject where language so often reveals its limitations—and an extensive list of additional resources. Whether you are a 10-year-old like Bryant was when her father began to transition or you are an adult with children of your own trying to understand an older parent’s journey, this book provides a positive, nonjudgmental guide to all the thoughts and feelings you might be going through.

A heartfelt manual for those seeking to understand their transgender parent.

Kirkus Reviews