My Sister's Mother: A Memoir of War, Exile, and Stalin's Siberia

by Donna Solecka Urbikas

Overview

In the 1950s, baby boomer Donna Solecka Urbikas grew up in the American Midwest yearning for a "normal" American family. But during World War II, her Polish-born mother and half sister had endured hunger, disease, and desperate escape from slave labor in Siberia. War and exile created a profound bond between mother and older daughter, one that Donna would struggle to find with either of them. In this unforgettable memoir, Donna recounts her family history and her own survivor's story, finally understanding the damaged mother who had saved her sister.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780299308544
Publisher:	University of Wisconsin Press
Publication date:	02/19/2019
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	312
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Donna Solecka Urbikas was born in Coventry, England, and immigrated with her parents and sister to Chicago in 1952. She lives in Chicago.

Table of Contents

Preface                       

Map                

Introduction               

 

Part 1. The Generation between the Wars

The Haunting Past                 

Uneasy Peace             

The Interview             

Hiding            

Lost Lives Regained              

Birth into War            

Polish School             

The First World War              

Mothers                      

Walenty and Natalia              

Operation Marriage                

Cradling Death                      

The Farm                    

Uncertainty                

Train Travel                

 

Part 2. Russia and Siberia

The Lieutenant                       

The Impact                 

The Arrest                  

Family Secrets            

Soviet Labor Camp                

Majorettes and Identity                     

Prison without Bars               

The Longing               

Undeserved Beauty               

Homeland                  

Fleeting Summer Breezes and Conspiracies              

Terms of Endearment            

The Human Commodity Market                    

A Less Than Normal Childhood                    

 

Part 3. Choices and Destiny

Amnesty                     

The Fittest Survive                 

Religion                      

The Guardian             

A Man of Honor                    

Under Naked Skies                

Not Me                       

Death in Small Doses             

Like No Other            

Numbing Existence                

War and Mental Illness                      

From Here to Hell                  

 

Part 4. Bittersweet Lessons

I, as Savior?               

India               

The World at War                  

England                      

The Land of White Rice and Cinnamon                    

Forever the Farm                    

Reconciliation            

King Takes Rook                   

 

Epilogue

On Being a Mother                

 

Notes              

References                 

Index

Editorial Reviews

"A primer for all who seek to understand the harrowing journey of Poles during this fateful period." --Allen Paul, author of Katyn: Stalin's Massacre and the Triumph of Truth

"An unprecedented saga of a loving mother and her two daughters raised years and oceans apart: the older one in Soviet slavery during World War II, the younger in freedom and safety in the United States. The demons that possessed the mother in slavery--fighting like a tigress to protect her child--never left her in freedom, emotionally harming her younger daughter. A unique perspective on the tragic deportation of Poles to Siberia." --Wesley Adamczyk, author of When God Looked the Other Way

"Poignant and empowering. ... Refreshingly honest ... about the effects that war has on its survivors and inevitably their children." --Polish American Journal

"Set against the background of Polish history, Urbikas recounts her mother and sister's plight of deportation, liberation, and journey through Central Asia to England and finally the United States. ... An ambitious and dense narrative." --Polish American Historical Review,

"Superbly records the bitter suffering both of victims of the Soviet Gulag and of displaced emigrants. In this context, Donna's teenage 'tragedy' of failing to make the cheerleading squad is particularly poignant." --Marek Jan Chodakiewicz, author of Between Nazis and Soviets

From the Publisher

★ 2019-03-22
In this heart-wrenching debut memoir, a mother and child survive Stalin's work camp then struggle to find inner calm in America.

As a child growing up in 1950s Chicago, Urbikas longed for a "normal" mom. Instead, her Polish-born mother, Janina, often told gruesome war stories and talked to herself in the mirror. But as Urbikas matured and suffered her own hardships, she began to understand her mother's need to recount her past. On the extremely cold morning of Feb. 10, 1940, Communist soldiers pounded on Janina's farmhouse door near Grodno, Poland, and informed her—a young, single mother—that she was sentenced to 10 years of hard labor. She and 5-year-old daughter Mira were stuffed into lice-ridden train cars and taken to a remote logging camp in the Siberian wilderness. Fed little and plagued by vermin, disease, and blistering cold, Janina lugged a heavy ax 4 miles to and from work every day, where she chopped thick branches off trees. Meanwhile, poor little Mira was left by herself to wait in agonizing bread lines, often unsuccessfully. After years of torture, Janina and Mira—helped by a Polish army officer who eventually married Janina—escaped to England and then America. Urbikas' flashbacks are seamless as she alternates chapters between her mother's and sister's stories—written in third person—versus her own first-person account. With many vivid sensory details—like "the grainy taste of…coarse rye bread"—the author's lyrical prose instantly transports readers to the labor camp. This gripping page-turner is also filled with stark contrasts. For example, in the camp, Mira and Janina sleep together on a dirty, bedbug-infested cot, and when Janina feels a rat scrabble across her chest, she can barely lift her tired arm to heave it onto the floor. In contrast, one of Urbikas' biggest worries is making the majorettes team in her American high school. A realistic depiction of the effects of evil, Janina's and Mira's experiences are sometimes overwhelming. In one scene, a tiny girl drowns and nobody helps.

A painfully beautiful portrayal of an indomitable, loving mother's survival.

Kirkus Reviews