Table of Contents
Introduction ix
Soap Opera 1
To Do or Not to Do 4
42 Minutes and Holding… 7
The Way I Can't See It 10
Picture Imperfect 13
Industrial Strength Shopping 16
Meet the Parents 20
She's Got Game 23
Don't Bring Me Flowers 26
Roomba's Revenge 30
How I Caught Every Disease on the Web 34
TV Dinners 37
Frequent Flierrr#*! 40
Hold Everything! 43
Night Light Fight 46
Picture This 50
Driving with Ed 53
Sunshine on a Cloudy Day 56
You Know the Drill 59
Check This Out 62
The Naked Truth 65
Bug Off! 68
Mr. Fix-It-Later 71
The Beer and Bacon Diet 74
Menu Madness 77
Is That What You're Wearing? 80
Good House Hunting 83
Counter Attack 86
Unpopular Mechanics 89
Congested and Confused 92
I Married a Pack Rat 95
Makes Scents 98
I Gotta Be … You 101
Furniture Fight 104
Can You Hear Me Now! 107
Cheaper Than Thou 110
The Grass Menagerie 113
On the Road Again 116
It's Your Fault 119
Taking Its Toll 122
A Kiss Is Just … a Pain 125
Caught on the Web 128
Dishing Dirt 131
Suite Dreams 134
And There's the Rub! 137
Nivea Man 140
Grape Expectations 143
Sit Back and Relax 146
Sleepless in Suburbia 149
Kitchen Confidential 152
Best Cheap Fun! 155
1-800-WasteMyTime 158
Dinner Party Debt 161
Garbage Gone Wild 164
Alarming Events 167
RV There Yet? 170
Yours, Mine & Mine 174
Gratuitous Gratuities 177
Color Me Flummoxed 180
Change Is Not Good 183
One Good Tern… 186
Talking the Walk 189