My Parent's Keeper: The Guilt, Grief, Guesswork, and Unexpected Gifts of Caregiving

by Jody Gastfriend, Patrick J. Kennedy (Contribution by)

Overview

“Unflinchingly tackles a complex aspect of eldercare in each chapter . . . an indispensable resource for family caregivers.”—Patrick O’Malley, author of Getting Grief Right
 
When it comes time to provide care for those who once cared for us, where can we turn? This book offers practical guidance for a broad range of caregiving situations when family caregivers assume their new role. My Parent’s Keeper . . .
 
·       Uses the latest research and draws on case histories and interviews.
·       Is a resource as well as a source of inspiration, with a blend of powerful stories and practical advice.
·       Helps caregivers cope with numerous challenges, including parents who need but refuse help; siblings who don’t get along; the complexity of healthcare systems; financial issues; juggling work and caregiving; the use of technology; the power of connecting with a loved one who has dementia; and realizing the benefits amid the burdens of caregiving.
 
“Jody Gastfriend has created the ultimate GPS for family caregivers. At once humane and helpful, personal and political, she charts the long, hard, and rewarding role that all of us will take caring for our families and each other. Don’t leave home without it!”—Ellen Goodman, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and founder of The Conversation Project
 
“My Parent's Keeper shines a light on the conundrum of caregiving—as adult children, our best intentions are insufficient to help our parents and ourselves. We need a plan in advance of need—this book offers up-to-date guideposts for this inevitable caregiving journey.”—Laurie M. Orlov, author of When Your Parents Need Elder Care: Lessons from the Front Lines

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780300235708
Publisher:	Yale University Press
Publication date:	08/11/2020
Series:	Yale University Press Health & Wellness
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	352
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Jody Gastfriend has been a social worker for more than thirty years and is vice president of senior care for Care.com, the world’s largest online marketplace for finding and managing family care.

Table of Contents

Foreword Patrick J. Kennedy xi

Preface xvii

Introduction xxiii

1 The Journey Begins 1

2 The Imperfect Caregiver 24

3 The Parent Who Rejects Help 39

4 Good, Bad, and Nonexistent Siblings 60

5 What Does Care Cost, and Who Pays? 87

6 The Care Maze 119

7 Making Work Work 144

8 The Art of Connection: Caring for a Loved One with Dementia 164

9 Caring for the Parent Who Couldn't Care for You 185

10 How to Care for Ourselves Too 207

11 Letting Go 227

12 Moving Forward, Looking Back 247

Appendix: Tips and Checklists

A Proactive Approach to Caregiving 263

When Your Parent Refuses Help 265

Home Dangers Every Caregiver Should Know 267

Paying for Long-Term Care 269

Seek Workplace Support 271

Caring for Someone with Dementia 273

Doctor's Appointment Checklist 275

What to Ask When Choosing a Nursing Home 277

What to Ask When Choosing an Assisted Living Community 279

What to Ask When Choosing a Nonmedical Home Care Agency 281

Notes 283

Resources 293

Recommended Further Reading 297

Acknowledgments 299

Index 303

About the Author 317

Editorial Reviews

My Parent’s Keeper by Jody Gastfriend was chosen as a finalist in the Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the Health/Wellness category
 

Honorable mention for the 2019 Educators Book Award, sponsored by The Delta Kappa Gamma Society International
 

"Jody Gastfriend has created the ultimate GPS for family caregivers. At once humane and helpful, personal and political, she charts the long, hard, and rewarding role that all of us will take caring for our families and each other. Don't leave home without it!"—Ellen Goodman, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and founder of The Conversation Project

“Jody Gastfriend unflinchingly tackles a complex aspect of eldercare in each chapter of My Parent’s Keeper. She has masterfully blended essential facts with exceptional psychological insight to create an indispensable resource for family caregivers.”—Patrick O’Malley, author of Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss

“My Parent's Keeper shines a light on the conundrum of caregiving—as adult children, our best intentions are insufficient to help our parents and ourselves. We need a plan in advance of need—this book offers up-to-date guideposts for this inevitable caregiving journey."—Laurie M. Orlov, author of When Your Parents Need Elder Care: Lessons from the Front Lines

“Caregiving is a noble cause. The responsibilities are enormous. This book helps guide us through the pitfalls when one takes on this duty, which is both a curse and a blessing for the child caring for a parent.”—Harry Haroutunian, author of Being Sober and Not As Prescribed

“Jody Gastfriend’s use of humor and pathos without bitterness or self-pity makes this book an easy read. The tone is conversational—never condescending, never combative—even when describing the ‘maze’ that health care has become and the limitations of existing policies.”—Gary Kennedy, Albert Einstein College of Medicine

From the Publisher