Table of Contents
Preface xi
Acknowledgments xix
Introduction 1
Training the Mind 2
Our Multiple Selves 4
Understanding the Mind 5
The Self We Might Choose 6
The Importance of Wisdom 7
The Lotus in the Mud 8
Key Points 9
Part I The Issues
1 Waking Up 13
The Four Noble Truths and Modem Psychology 16
Emergence and Interconnectedness 24
The Buddha's Story and Us 28
Key Points 30
2 Evolved Mind and Motivations 33
Understanding Our Origins-The Flow of Life 33
The Evolutionary Journey 34
The Consequences of Evolution for Mindful Compassion 36
Old and New Brains 38
The Problems with Humans Getting Smart 40
How the Brain Coordinates Itself 45
Motives Coordinate the Mind 46
Minds Full of Conflicts 48
The Affliction of Self-Identity 50
The Shamed Self 52
The Compassionate Self and Its Benefits 53
Bringing Our Story Together 55
Key Points 58
3 Emotional Systems 59
Problems with Emotions 60
Emotional Regulation Systems 62
Threat and Self-Protection System 64
Why the Threat System Gives Us a Hard Time 69
Drive and Resource-Seeking System 71
The Soothing/Affiliation System 78
All Want Love and to Be Loving 90
Key Points 91
4 Emergence of Compassion 93
What Is Compassion? 95
Healing: Definition of Compassion 97
The Attributes of Compassion: Engagement 106
Bringing the Attributes Together and the Emergence of Compassion 120
Skills of Compassion: Alleviation and Prevention 121
The Two Psychologies of Compassion: Bringing Them Together 128
Key Points 130
5 The Challenge of Mindfulness Practice 133
The Role of Mindfulness 134
Problems That Can Arise with Mindfulness 140
Mindfulness and Motives 140
Key Points 151
6 The Lotus in the Mud 153
Understanding How Compassion Can Be Undermined 155
Compromised Soothing/Affiliation System 156
Misunderstandings About the Nature of Compassion 157
Fears of and Resistances to Compassion 157
Fear of Happiness 160
Emotional Memory 161
Affiliation and Emotional Memory 162
Affiliation and Emotional Fusion 164
Affiliation and Anger 165
Affiliation and Slowing Down-In the Culture of Speeding Up 166
Psychology of Avoidance 168
The Story of Chenrezig 168
Compassion as Ascent to the Angelic? 171
Compassion as "Cleansing and Purifying" Inner Poisons 172
The Real Story of Compassion-Descent 174
Descent: Choden's Personal Journey 176
Descent and the Emergence of Compassion: The Beginning of New Life 178
Compassion and the Flow of Life 180
Key Points 181
Part II The Practices
Introduction: Compassionate Motivation 183
Outline of Practice Chapters 185
7 Mindfulness Practice 187
Recognizing the Unsettled Mind 187
Beginning to Work with Attention 190
Slowing Down and Settling 192
Opening Up to Our Senses 196
Single-Focus Attention and Open-Field Awareness 198
Grounding in the Body 199
Body Scan 200
Body Awareness and Compassion 203
Sitting Practice 205
Little and Often 211
Conclusion 211
Key Stages 212
8 Working with Acceptance 213
Habitual Reactions 213
Familiarization and Cultivation 214
Intention, Attention, and Acceptance 216
Experiential Acceptance 217
Two Psychologies of Compassion 220
How Do We Practice Acceptance? 221
Cultivating the Observer 229
Key Points 230
9 Building Compassionate Capacity 233
Compassion as Flow 234
Working with Imagery 236
No Clear Pictures 237
Safe Place 238
Compassionate Color 241
Compassionate Image 242
Recognizing Our Wish for Happiness 248
Key Points 250
10 The Compassionate Self 253
Cultivating Helpful Patterns 253
Imagining Our Compassionate Self 255
Method-Acting Techniques 256
The Qualities of Our Compassionate Self 257
Remembering Our Compassionate Self 262
Doing the Work of Compassion 263
Focusing Our Compassionate Self: Compassion for a Loved One 264
Focusing Our Compassionate Self: Compassion for Oneself 265
Self-Compassion Break 268
Working with the Anxious Self 268
Working with the Angry Self 270
Working with the Critical Self 272
Compassionate Behavior 275
Key Points 276
11 Widening Our Circle of Compassion 277
Four Limitless Contemplations 279
Practicing Compassion for Others 281
Dissolving and Equalizing "On the Spot" 289
Self-Preoccupation 290
Tonglen: Taking and Sending 291
Practicing Tonglen 293
Tonglen on the Spot 297
Conclusion 298
Key Points 299
Conclusion: The Compassionate Journey 301
Find Out More 305
Books 305
CDs 306
Websites 307
Notes 311