Table of Contents
The Most Unforgettable Moment I'll Never Remember 9
Be Still 25
Fake It When You Can't Make It 33
I'd Rather Play The Toilet 39
The Ones Who Really Live Happily Ever After 47
Hot Property: Great Open Floor Plan, Full Mountain Views 57
Bloomin' Cactus 71
Needled 81
The Most Consistent Man 93
Boogie Woogie Twenty Miles In Fifteen Minutes Flat 105
"Wise Men Say" 119
The Frill Is Gone 131
Fight Or Flee 139
WXR-Pee 151
Live From Orem 161
Let In The Joy 171
Borrowed Blind 179
Scatterbrain 187
A Poseidon Adventure On The Love Boat 197
Nun Gags 207
Stuff 223
In Search Of A Last Name 233
Dude, It's For Me 243
We Want You Around 253
It's Only Sand 267
Dressed To Spill...Out 279
You'll Be There 289
Acknowledgments 303