Men... Let's Talk Menopause: What's going on and what you can do about it
110
Men... Let's Talk Menopause: What's going on and what you can do about it
110Paperback
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781788600804 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Practical Inspiration Publishing |
| Publication date: | 04/25/2019 |
| Pages: | 110 |
| Sales rank: | 574,142 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.06(w) x 7.81(h) x 0.23(d) |
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Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
SOME BASIC FACTS
The general perception of a menopausal woman needs to change – they should be valued for their wisdom and life experience and as such be acknowledged as an invaluable asset to society. (Post Reproductive Health Journal 2017)
So what is the menopause? How long does it last? Will she return to normal? Is the Pope a Catholic? ... Of course she will!
Feel like you don't know anything? Please be assured you are not alone. There are thousands of men in exactly the same position as you, but alas, as a nation we tend to be all terribly British about it and we don't, as a rule, talk about it down the pub!
Here are a few definitions to start with:
• Pre-menopause: the reproductive phase, when the hormones are relatively intact.
• Perimenopause: that "glorious" transitional period from the reproductive phase to the non-reproductive phase, so potentially still fertile – careful! Oestrogen levels are declining and it can be a turbulent time for both of you. It's actually – and this is so important – the most symptomatic phase, and for some can be flipping awful and for anyone in the vicinity!
• Menopause/Post-menopause: the non-reproductive phase, when periods have stopped (can only be classed as menopausal after 12 continual months of no bleeding). The symptoms should be dissipating and life starting to calm down ... honest!
• Prematurely menopausal: a proportion of women can become menopausal before the age of 45, some in their 20s and 30s and for various reasons. These women should be on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and should seek medical advice.
How, when and for how long?
Menopause can either be:
• Spontaneous, so developing naturally;
• Surgically induced following, for example, having a hysterectomy (symptoms tend to be more intense);
• Iatrogenic following treatment, as in chemotherapy or radiotherapy.
It usually starts to happen any time from the age of 45 to 55, the classic age quoted by clinicians being 51 years old.
How long can it last ... how long is a piece of string? Anywhere between four and ten years is the average, but it is such an individual medical condition.
What's with all these symptoms? Does every woman get them?
Basically, all of the symptoms are due to declining levels of oestrogen. Every woman will go through this transitional phase but each woman will react differently.
Some sail through this transition; others find their symptoms so debilitating that it affects not only their general overall health but also their relationships and their work.
How can you help?
Firstly, a tip: never, and I mean never, say, "Oh it must be your hormones ...", "Oh, it's definitely that time of month again ..." or "Oh, go and take a chill pill ...". These comments are like a red rag to a bull.
Do, however, send her off for long cool showers (soaks in the bath can, on occasion, exacerbate the hot flushes), be a model listener and learn to bite your tongue when required, even when she is resembling a Komodo dragon! This is absolutely no time for you to have any form of man flu! What do you mean, how long do you have to do this for?!
Over the following three chapters I'll go through symptoms that she could be experiencing and explain ways to help relieve those symptoms. Then, hopefully, quality of life will improve ... for both of you.
The key word there is could. Most women experience several symptoms, but each woman is different, experiencing the symptoms in different ways and to different intensities, which is why it's such a flipping tricky topic to tackle! You might be the luckiest man on the planet and she glides through her menopause without batting an eyelid, with her pelvic floor and libido remaining intact. Alternatively, she's at the other end of the spectrum (sympathies), in which case, take a deep breath and read on ...
The symptoms
I've split the main symptoms into three categories – Physical in Chapter 2, Psychological in Chapter 3 and Genitourinary in Chapter 4 (reproductive and urinary to you and me). There are also a few rare and long-term symptoms which you can find in Chapter 5.
OK, now brace yourself: there are over 30 symptoms that women can suffer from. Now you understand why she can resemble Cruella de Vil on occasion; there's a lot to cope with!
Always remember that certain symptoms could be related to other medical conditions, so if unsure, anyone should get checked out by their GP to confirm it is the menopause and not something else.
Something to take on board – symptoms evolve, some quicker than others and to differing degrees. Just when you think you've got a handle on everything, another one might rear its ugly head ... but then again you might lose one! So it's a constant, ever-changing flow of events until reaching those post-menopausal years.
CHAPTER 2THE PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
The human state includes far more than just the rational, analytical and intellectual behaviour based on physical objective facts but also includes the intuitive, the sensibilities and the spiritual. (British Medical Journal 2017 Margaret Turner-Warwick)
Everyone's heard of hot flushes, of course; she may even have started to experience these. But – brace yourself – there are many more physical symptoms that can accompany the onset of menopause. Read on to find out more about them, and what helps!
Hot flushes and night sweats
Hot flushes are the exact reverse of "feeling damn hot", I can assure you.
What happens?
The technical term is vasomotor symptoms. Hormones are all over the place as oestrogen levels start to drop, which causes the thermostat in the brain (that controls body temperature) to have a hissy fit now and again!
It affects 75% of women, with 25% getting really awful ones. That means she's either going to look like she's having "a wee glow" or like she's just come off a squash court – get the picture? I can assure you that they are inconvenient, embarrassing and disruptive, and they will affect her quality of life. They can be infuriatingly random and can also be brought on by certain foods, drinks or situations. It gets worse ... they can be accompanied by headaches, palpitation and dizziness. Yes, we are still on the first symptom!
Triggers and causes
The most common triggers can be dietary, including caffeine, alcohol (with red wine being very common), spicy foods or even just having a hot drink.
Stressful situations can bring one on too, so what every woman needs from now on is peace, calm and tranquillity ... I know that's not going to happen in the real world, but anything resembling peace and calm can help!
Other causes and/or triggers of flushes can be: certain cancer-related treatments, thyroid conditions, obesity, smoking and infection.
What can help?
• Food and flush diary: it sounds nerdy, but this is a good way to try and figure out which foods, drinks and situations are causing the worst symptoms and are potentially triggering the flushes. Then avoid or reduce the foods and drinks which trigger those flushes. Don't immediately go and put an order in for several cases of your favourite red – a little tact, please, boys!
• Encourage the wearing of natural fibres, i.e. cotton and bamboo fabrics, and get that bedroom well-ventilated. You might have to invest in some fleecy PJs for yourself!
• Drinking plenty of water and keeping hydrated is essential – replacing fluid after sweating a lot is a no brainer. The recommended daily intake is about two litres.
• With any symptom, lifestyle choices are going to get flagged up, meaning have a really good look at diet and exercise – that goes for both of you! Eating a healthy, nutritious diet and keeping well-hydrated helps all symptoms, as does doing a variety of exercise every week. No, don't go and sign her up for the local Ironman competition – little and often is fine. You can really help here: go for cycles, runs or walks together. Yes, you do have time, and you could earn major brownie points!
• Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfulness: there is a lot of research going on in these areas and both are definitely worth encouraging. No, it's not all airy-fairy mumbo-jumbo – positive thinking, learning simple CBT techniques and practicing mindfulness can really help to reduce the frequency and intensity of flushes. A good book to buy is Managing Hot Flushes and Night Sweats by Myra Hunter and Melanie Smith. (I should be on commission, the amount of women I've recommended this to!)
• Herbal remedies to consider include sage and black cohosh: always seek advice from a herbalist, though, as these can interact with other medications, and try to use ones which have the THR (Traditional Herbal Registration) logo (see Chapter 8 for more information).
• Cooling Spray by Promensil – sprayed on the skin, this helps to diffuse the heat.
• Look at products which can help wick moisture away from the body for example:
[??] clothing – try bambooclothing.co.uk or cucucumberclothing.com
[??] wool duvets – try southdownduvets.com
Medical treatment
Hormone replacement therapy – despite past scaremongering by the media, the benefits outweigh the risks and HRT helps enormously (see Chapter 7).
Any other medical options should be discussed in full with your GP and should be combined with lifestyle choices.
Palpitations
What happens?
Palpitations are heartbeats that can become noticeable. They are common, for most people are harmless and can often accompany hot flushes and night sweats. They can also be quite alarming and scary – if concerned always get checked out by your GP.
What can help?
As with the hot flushes and night sweats, relaxation and exercise are essential, plus learning those CBT techniques or trying some mindfulness.
Bleeding
Heavy bleeding – this can be debilitating, draining and life-changing.
What happens?
Some women develop very heavy periods accompanied, sometimes, by cramps and clots that can, on occasion, resemble a tsunami-like flow.
A large amount of women needlessly shut up and put up with these symptoms to detrimental effects, plus end up spending a fortune on sanitary products!
"Flooding", as it's sometimes known, can cause women to organise their holidays, social calendars and work diaries around their menstrual cycle which, quite frankly, can be so random and sporadic it's almost impossible to organise anything at all. She also won't buy or wear white jeans for quite a while!
At the other end of the spectrum, some women just gradually stop having periods without any heavy bleeding or complications at all. If she is in this group, she is very lucky ... as are you!
What can help?
Medication
It's very important for any woman experiencing these symptoms to go and see her GP, to make sure it's hormonal fluctuations causing these symptoms and not some other reason. Once the cause is established and bloods have been taken to make sure you're not anaemic – which can be a side-effect of heavy menstruating – then your GP should discuss the various options to help with these symptoms.
Options available include:
• non-hormonal medication, which can help to reduce the flow of blood and can help with the cramps and clots: e.g. mefenamic acid or tranexamic acid can be prescribed;
• getting an intrauterine device fitted e.g. a Mirena coil (releases progesterone), which has the dual role of providing contraception as well as often having a miraculous effect on heavy bleeding;
• oral progestogen – taken cyclically, this helps regulate periods and can also help with flushes and sweats;
• endometrial ablation, a minor surgical procedure that can also have wonderful effects, like the coil.
Each of these options should be fully explained so every woman has the opportunity to make an informed and educated decision along with their GP as to the best route forward. Do encourage her to get her iron levels checked, as that can make her feel lethargic and worn out, but she definitely shouldn't self-medicate as too much iron isn't good for her either!
Important point: always get any unexplained bleeding checked out by your GP, especially if it's post-menopausal (after no periods for 12 months).
Lifestyle, diet and exercise
Having a healthy, nutritious, balanced diet with foods packed with iron is essential. Exercise definitely helps with cramps – often it's the last thing she will want to do, but try and encourage her to get active instead of curling up on the sofa with half of the M&S deli department!
You'll know she is on top of things when that first pair of white jeans reappears in her wardrobe.
Joint aches
What happens?
This is a very common symptom, mainly affecting wrists, neck, shoulders and hips. You often feel like your whole body resembles a creaking gate hanging off by its hinges! Getting out of the car, up from a chair or off a bike can feel like you're literally having to unfurl yourself into an upright position again.
Oestrogen plays an important role in helping to maintain joint and bone health, so when that starts fluctuating all over the place it makes sense that certain symptoms are going to appear.
Recognition of this symptom and associating it with menopause doesn't often happen; a lot of women think they are just getting old or that they have the start of arthritis (if in doubt, you can get a blood test to rule out rheumatoid arthritis).
What can help?
• Exercise – a lot of the time women will want to do the opposite: put their feet up to rest their aching joints, hug a hot water bottle because of their tummy cramps and seek out comfort food, whereas they should be doing the opposite on all fronts! A variety of exercise is good: weightbearing (running), non-weight-bearing (cycling, swimming) and resistance (e.g. weights). Building Pilates or yoga into her week is incredibly useful. You too should join in on all these fronts, keeping that middle-aged spread at bay and staying supple.
• Developing a strong core really helps bone density and balance, which helps to reduce potential falls later in life – a no-brainer really. If she doesn't like conventional exercise, then try a different angle, such as dancing – those dancers on Strictly are some of the fittest people on the planet! Or do short sessions of HIIT (high intensity interval training – see Chapter 6).
• Diet – it's very important to have a diet rich in calcium, vitamin D and magnesium, so include foods such as oily fish, eggs, dairy products, green leafy vegetables, nuts and pulses in her diet.
• Hydration – lubricate those joints by drinking around two litres of water a day.
• Relaxation is good, and the odd massage is essential. You'll get major brownie points if you provide one of those ... No, I don't mean you do it yourself; having a spa treatment can be heavenly!
• Supplements – if there is one supplement you should both take, it's vitamin D – 10 micrograms a day. With our climate here in the UK we just don't get enough sunshine, and then when we do go out in it we're probably plastered in Factor 30 sun cream!
• Glucosamine is a supplement to try; it occurs naturally and is one of the building blocks of cartilage. (It's also derived from shellfish, so be careful allergy wise.)
• HRT – this replaces lost oestrogen and has a good success rate of working on all symptoms. (See Chapter 7 for more information.)
Headaches
Headaches are another very common symptom of the perimenopause.
What happens?
Fluctuating hormones and changes in menstrual cycles (periods) can cause many women to experience "muzzy" heads, with some also experiencing migraines. And you thought she was just being a lightweight after a night out – not so! Having said that, I do believe alcohol tolerance reduces; but that little theory is not scientifically based, just my finding from speaking to hundreds of women! But back to headaches ...
Once again, these symptoms are caused by fluctuating oestrogen. It's very common for women, regardless of their age, to experience cyclical headaches during their periods. Now you have an insight into what's been troubling your teenage daughter! So when going through the perimenopause with periods being all over the place, it can feel like you permanently have a headache.
The good news is that, if she gets her hot flushes, heavy bleeding and joint aches under control, more often than not the headaches will improve as she will now be exercising regularly, eating a wonderful healthy, nutritious diet, be hydrating madly and be engaging in an array of alternative therapies that you have been encouraging!
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Men ... Let's Talk Menopause"
by .
Copyright © 2019 Ruth Devlin.
Excerpted by permission of Practical Inspiration Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Preface ....................................................................................... ix
Introduction ............................................................................... 1
1. Some basic facts .................................................................. 5
2. The physical symptoms ...................................................13
3. The psychological symptoms..........................................29
4. The genitourinary symptoms
(reproductive and urinary)...............................................35
5. Rare and possible long-term symptoms .......................41
6. Lifestyle, diet and exercise ...............................................45
7. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) .........................55
8. Alternative remedies and therapies ................................65
Postscript… a final few words ..............................................73
Useful links and reading .........................................................75