Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor

by Thomas L. Masson

Overview

Thomas Lansing Masson (1866-1934) was an American editor and author. In 1893 he became literary editor of Life. His books include A Corner in Women (1905), The Von Blumers (1906), A Bachelor's Baby and Some Grown-Ups (1907), and The Yankee Navy (1899), Well, Why Not? (1921). Masson edited this fourth volume which includes works by Fitzhugh Ludlow, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Danforth Marble, William Dean Howells, Samuel Minturn Peck, William Cullen Bryant, and others

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781775562498
Publisher:	The Floating Press
Publication date:	02/01/2013
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
File size:	277 KB

Read an Excerpt

INDUCEMENTS FOR CLUBBINO Twenty copies furnished for one year for fifty cents. Address John Phoenix, Office of the San Diego Herald. SUSAN SIMPSON Sudden swallows swiftly skimming. Sunset's slowly spreading shade. Silvery songsters sweetly singing, Summer's soothing serenade. Susan Simpson strolled sedately, Stifling sobs, suppressing sighs. Seeing Stephen Slocum, stately She stopped, showing some surprise. "Say," said Stephen, "sweetest sigher; Say, shall Stephen spouseless stay?" Susan, seeming somewhat shier, Showed submissiveness straightway. Summer's season slowly stretches, Susan Simpson Slocum she So she signed some simple sketches - Soul sought soul successfully. Six Septembers Susan swelters; Six sharp seasons snow supplies; Susan's satin sofa shelters Six small Slocums side by slue. chapter{Section 4MARY MAPES DODGE MISS MALONY ON THE CHINESE QUESTION Och ! don't be talkin'. Is it howld on, ye say ? An' didn't I howld on till the heart of me was clane broke entirely, and me wastin' that thin you could clutch me wid yer two hands ! To think o' me toilin' like a nager for the six year I've been in Ameriky bad luck to the day I iver left the owld counthry, to be bate by the likes o' them! (faix, an' I'll sit down when I'm ready, so I will, Ann Ryan, an' ye'd better be list'nin' than drawin' your remarks), an it's mysel', with five good characters from respectable places, would be herdin' wid the haythens. The saints forgive me, but I'd be buried alive soon 'n put up wid a day longer. Sure, an' I was a granehorn not to be lavin' at onct when the missus kim into me kitchen wid her perlaver about the new waiter-man which was brought out from Californy. "He'll be here thenight," says she, "'and Kitty, it's mese...