To attempt to discuss the full range of human psychology and the complexities of relationships is far beyond the scope of this book. In fact, discussion of the abstract and infinite ways psychology impacts our lives could fill countless libraries.
Rather than exercising such a broad reach, the goal of this book is to reduce such complexity. This is accomplished by first looking to the world of business-- a world filled with concrete goals, defined processes,and recognizable structures designed to work together to produce a successful outcome. Commonly used business practices familiar to many in today's workforce are presented as effective tools for managing the daily requirements and conflicts of married life.
By far the most common reaction to Marriage is a Business is one of slight skepticism. Why would anyone try to apply business techniques to marriage, or any kind of relationship for that matter? Isn't it comparing apples to oranges, board rooms to bedrooms, profits to passion? The fact that few can see the similarities between running a successful business and navigating a successful marriage attests to the current lack of realism in our culture's view of how to achieve a happy marriage.
With over 20 years of work as a therapist, Dr.Secrest has defined and refined tools that she believes make the most difference to couples whose relationships are in trouble. These tools are not emotion-based therapeutic improvisations or pathways for exploring past traumas and hurts. While they and other valid therapeutic approaches all have their place, Dr. Secrest's vision for helping couples achieve a strong relationship centers on handling the business of marriage very, very well, and this requires a lot of self-discipline, a strong work ethic, and yes, some business savvy. This book fills a gap that has been left by other self-help and therapeutic approaches. It highlights the importance of being able to manage one's self and one's relationships, and addresses problems and obstacles others do not.
Along with practical skills, a good marriage also requires a certain level of self awareness and the ability to balance and integrate our thoughtful selves with our emotional selves. Thus, a second relevant element of this book is a simple, easy, straightforward understanding of how individuals can manage themselves psychologically, both as independent selves and within a relationship.
The basic psychological concepts presented here are limited to thoughts and feelings, and the interplay between the two. When a person understands this interplay within themselves, he or she then can explore more complicated psychological issues. Here, the business model requires people to keep their intellect continuously switched on as they manage their emotions through adulthood and how to integrate thoughts and feelings. When people decide to include marriage in their lives, this integration of heart and mind must be extended from internal self-management to external relationship management.
