Mama, You Are Enough: How to Create Calm, Joy, and Confidence Within the Chaos of Motherhood

by Claire Nicogossian

Overview

An Honest and Revolutionary Guide to the Emotions Moms Feel But Seldom Talk About

A few years ago, Dr. Claire Nicogossian began noticing a trend in her therapy room: Mothers are struggling with the challenging and unexpected emotions that surface during their journey through motherhood. In the confines of a safe, judgment-free space, they share about the heavy guilt they carry from losing control and yelling at their children; the crippling fear that they are failing their families; and the exhaustion of juggling work, home, and family. Dr. Claire calls these our shadow emotions. While varying in intensity, our shadow emotions take some form of sadness, anger, fear, embarrassment, or disgust, often a combination. In this breakthrough book, Dr. Claire sheds light on these shadow emotions and provides a path to thriving joy, inner calm, and radiant confidence.

Drawing upon her own experiences of raising four children and many years of counseling mothers as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Claire shares practical tips, strategies, and encouragement to help women in all stages of motherhood. By creating new language for the feelings moms experience but seldom talk about—inspired by the groundbreaking work of Carl Jung—this book has the power to create a radical shift in the way we understand and navigate modern motherhood. With Dr. Claire’s guidance, mothers everywhere will discover the deep joy, fulfillment, and inner peace that are already within their reach.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781645670704
Publisher:	Page Street Publishing
Publication date:	06/30/2020
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	336
File size:	5 MB

About the Author

Claire Nicogossian, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a clinical instructor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. She’s the founder of MomsWellBeing.com, where you can find her writing, and the podcast In-Session with Dr. Claire. Her writing has appeared on Motherly, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, TODAY Parenting Team, and HuffPost. Dr. Claire lives in Rhode Island with her husband and four daughters.

Table of Contents

Preface 1

Introduction 5

Part I Learning to Thrive in Modern Motherhood 12

1 The Key to Thriving in Motherhood: Understanding and Managing Your Emotions and Feelings 13

2 A Guide to Self-Care in Modern Motherhood 31

Part II Embracing Sadness on the Path to Thriving 46

3 Soothing the Tears 52

How to Embrace Sadness and Move Toward Hope

4 There's No Manual in Motherhood 62

Ways to Handle Feeling Ineffective and Defeated and Increase Your Confidence

5 Running on Empty 75

How Feeling Exhausted and Burned-Out Creates Opportunities to Grow

6 You Can't Undo the Past 89

A Guide to Managing Guilt and Developing More Self-Compassion

7 Reducing Loneliness in Motherhood 101

Skills and Strategies to Find Connection and Bring in Fun

8 Time Goes Slow and Children Grow Fast 123

How to Honor Your Feelings and Stay Present in the Midst of Missing and Longing

9 Transforming Suffering 130

The Steps to Take to Turn Despair into Hope, Meaning, and Purpose

Part III Conquering Fear and Anxiety to Cultivate Calm 140

10 Overcoming Anxiety 145

How to Manage Worry and Anxious Thoughts to Create Joy and Connect with Others

11 Finding Your Strengths 158

How to Transform Moments of Insecurity into Sources of Confidence

12 Fear Is a Great Teacher 168

How Embracing What You Are Afraid of Helps You to Develop Trust and Calm

Part IV Using Anger as a Teacher for Growth and Joy 178

13 The Red Flags of Anger 182

How Paying Attention to Irritability, Frustration, and Anger Is the Path of Self-Care and Joy

14 Healing the Roots of Pain 211

How to Transform Bitter and Resentful Feelings into Peacefulness, Acceptance, and Connection

15 Highlighting Abundance 227

How Feeling Jealousy and Envy Are Signals to Appreciate Your Strengths

Part V Transforming Embarrassment and Shame into Self-Compassion 240

16 The Uncomfortable Moments of Motherhood 246

Simple Ways to Bounce Back After an Awkward or Embarrassing Moment

17 The Hidden Suffering in Motherhood 262

How Letting Go of Humiliation and Shame Creates Space for Joy and Happiness

Part VI Using Disgust and Self-Judgment as Chance to Heal 288

18 Handling the Disgusting Moments of Motherhood 292

Keeping Perspective and a Sense of Humor

19 The Feelings Moms Have But Don't Say Out Loud 302

How Transforming Self-Hatred to Self-Love Is the Key to Joy

Part VII Conclusion-Revealing Your True Motherly State of Joy, Calm, and Confidence 316

Endnotes 323

Acknowledgments 324

About the Author 326

Index 327

Editorial Reviews

Being a mom is hard—and most books just set the bar even higher! Instead of giving you yet another long list of ways you could be better at it, Mama, You Are Enough shares the real secrets to thriving as a parent—learning how to manage your emotions and show yourself deep compassion. This is essential reading for all moms. It took me decades to learn the advice I read in just the first chapter!”
—Carley Roney, Founder, The Bump

“Mothers around the world are standing up to say, “This needs to get better”—Claire's book is their rallying cry. It is beautifully written, thoughtfully crafted, genuine, and oh-so-needed. Claire’s expertise and gentle guidance combine into a true gift for mothers. This book will change lives.”
—Diana Spalding, Digital Education Editor at Motherly (mother.ly), Certified Midwife, Pediatric Nurse

“Mama, You Are Enough provides the support and encouragement that every mother in the world needs. I recommend this book to every mom I know. Motherhood will always have its challenges, but Dr. Claire’s insights, compassion and wisdom remind us that we don't have to go through them alone.”
—Arianna Huffington, Founder & CEO, Thrive Global

“As a new mom, one of the most challenging things is managing intense and seemingly conflicting emotions. In Mama, You Are Enough, Dr. Claire Nicogossian reminds us that these emotions are normal and okay. Whether we're feeling weepy and sad, exhausted and inexplicably angry, or downright giddy with joy, we are enough—for our kids and for ourselves. Nicogossian gives us the permission we didn't know we needed to feel all these emotions so that we can embrace the experience of motherhood with a full and open heart.”
—Christine Organ, Associate Editor at Scary Mommy

"A gorgeous and important book. By turns practical and inspiring, with exercises throughout, Mama, You Are Enough embraces a powerful, healing truth: it’s impossible for mothers to to feel confident and caring all the time; accepting that with compassion is not only comforting, it’s also the key to being a more confident caring mother.
—Dr. Craig Malkin, Clinical Psychologist, Lecturer Harvard Medical School, author of the internationally acclaimed book Rethinking Narcissism

From the Publisher

09/01/2020

Shadow emotions such as sadness, fearfulness, guilt, and disgust are a part of every mom's life. In her first book, clinical psychologist Nicogassian gives readers the tools they need to care for their emotional selves. Readers may find relief in the normalcy of these emotions, comfort in knowing they don't need to act on them, and relief that shadow emotions don't mean you don't love your kids enough or are a bad mother. Negative and self-critical thinking increase the power of shadow emotions, and Nicogassian provides practical strategies for moving forward in the midst of unpleasant feelings. The author shares ideas for self-care in each of the main spheres: physical, emotional, cognitive, social, spiritual, and personal. VERDICT This volume will be a great resource for moms to kids of all ages and stages, from newborn to teen.

Library Journal