Making the Most of All Nine Lives: The Extraordinary Life of Buffy the Cat

by Sandy Robins, Paul Smulson

Overview

If cats really did have nine lives, none would live all of them as fully as Buffy, an orange tabby from the suburbs of Chicago. Buffy has been a bartender, a judge, a DJ, a teacher, and a dental hygienist. Like many who live and work in a city, he spends his days eating breakfast, commuting on public transit, going grocery shopping, and enjoying a cold beverage at the end of a long day. There are the chores—mowing the lawn, chopping firewood—but then on weekends, he plays at the beach, takes the kayak out on the water, goes fishing, and relaxes by listening to music. Follow Buffy along on 100 of his adventures, depicted in full-color photography, and learn what it means to make the most of all nine lives!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781633194502
Publisher:	Triumph Books
Publication date:	04/15/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	112
File size:	38 MB
Note:	This product may take a few minutes to download.

About the Author

Sandy Robins is an award-winning pet lifestyle expert and a popular TV and radio guest. She is the author of several books on cats, including For the Love of Cats: From A to Z, and her work appears regularly on MSNBC.com and in various magazines. She lives in California. Paul Smulson was a Chicago Daily Defender sports photographer for 15 years during the Michael Jordan era. His photographs also appeared in Sport Magazine, Chicago Sun-Times, and Fox Sports' Beyond the Glory.

Read an Excerpt

Making the Most of All Nine Lives

The Extraordinary Life of Buffy the Cat

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By Sandy Robins, Paul Smulson

Triumph Books

Copyright © 2016 Sandy Robins and Paul Smulson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-63319-450-2

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CHAPTER 1

The Extraordinary Life of Buffy the Cat

I told you we're going the wrong way.

Who has dinner in the middle of the road? Move out of the way, you silly pigeons. Cat backing up here!

Yikes. Gas prices are up again.

Oh well, I have no choice but to fill up. But my next car will definitely be a hybrid.

Whaaat? Only one new message?

Don't wait up. I'm going out for a night on the town.

So a goat fell off a truck and wandered into a bar. This isn't a joke. I kid you not ... that's how Chicago's Billy Goat Tavern got its name.

Cheers! I love the way the froth tickles my nose.

Oh dear. I guess ... burp ... I chased the froth to the bottom of the glassh. Burp. I think that qualifies asshh one too many....

Can someone please open the door? It's raining cats and dogs out here!

Getting through security was a breeze ... ... where do we go from here?

Pretend you are watching a mouse. Hold your breath and don't move!

My, what big teeth you have!

Don't worry; I won't forget to give you the tooth once I've extracted it. But I must add, I have no idea what the tooth fairy pays.

This undercover surveillance work taps directly into my innate feline curiosity.

Clearly their tactics aren't working. Perhaps if I caterwaul and create a ruckus, they will simply open the door.

There's something fishy about this witness.

Good evening and thank you for watching. This is the late edition of the evening news and I'm Buffy the Cat.

Now listen up, kid. I'm going to teach you how to copycat.

Do this ...

Do that....

Watch closely. I've got this pulling-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat trick down pat. Abracadabra ... mumbo jumbo....

Oh dear! I can't help myself. This trick makes me salivate.

Okay, Gramps. It's your move.

Any cat that has sat waiting for a mouse to emerge from a hole knows that patience is always rewarded. So checkers is nothing more than a cat and mouse game.

When it comes to playing solitaire, it's all about repeating patterns. Actually, this is a hunting strategy that cats have used for 10,000 years.

Where does it say lick it and stick it?

Okay. So let's get right down to the nuts and bolts of this project.

One of life's lessons: never let grass grow under your feet.

By trimming this hedge I am broadening my horizons. Well, that's what the humans think. Actually, I'm keeping an my horizons. Well, that's what the humans think. Actually, I'm keeping an eye on the neighbor's cute tabby.

While you lie there snoring, I'm the one chopping wood.

There are plusses and minuses for everything. When it snows, shoveling is a real drag.

On the plus side, I get to make a new friend.

They say a watched kettle never boils. But eggs are obviously a different kettle of fish ...I think I'm mixing my metaphors!

Entertaining can be fun. But it's much easier to serve kibble.

Okay, I've got this.

Nearly there ...

It's on the way ...

Like I said, I've got this....

Where are the kids today? Maybe I should ring the bell. If they don't show soon, I may be tempted to taste some of the ice cream.

There is nothing like a little R and R in the middle of the day. But right now I could do with some P and S — push to swing.

Perhaps I should try this on my back.

CHP stands for Cat Highway Patrol.

But honestly, this is more my speed.

Honesty is the best policy. I'm going to tell the teacher the dog ate my homework.

I am officially the Teacher's Pet.

It says here that a single variable calculus can deal with the motion of an object along a fixed path. Hopefully, this will answer how I access that bag of kibble on the top shelf and determine its trajectory to the floor so that I can help myself.

What do you mean you don't understand?

My goodness! Now I know what they mean when they say a bird's eye view.

Holy cow! It's Harry Caray.

Programs for the Cubs game cost $5. Petting me costs an extra $10.

An orange cat BBQ-ing red fish at a tailgating party. Life is good.

Hey Chicago bear. The fight song says "Bear Down". So move it!

Ping-pong gives me an opportunity to hone my pounce and prey skills and teaches me to focus on my quarry.

So, if I get three strikes in a row, I get a turkey? Sounds like a deal.

I don't know if I'm up for this. You said we were just going for a walk in the park.

Skateboarding is really fun. Now, if I can figure out how to ollie, I'll be stoked!

As a member of the Felis Catus family, I'm renowned for my agility and flexibility. But even I like to stretch and limber up before a game of golf.

Decisions, decisions. To tee or not to tee? Perhaps heading to the grill is a better idea.

Is this what they mean when they say it's a long shot?

I have this pegged as a birdie of the non-feathered kind.

This Hobie must be one helluva cool cat to have a boat named after him. But since I'm at the helm, I think Buffy's Boat sounds much better.

You said there are lots of fish in the sea. So what's the plan?

Okay boys. The first catch of the day is mine.

Hi-yah!! I know, this is not a typical feline sound but meow doesn't quite have the same impact.

Don't underestimate my soft furry paws. A good karate chop is actually a calculated feline kill-skill ...

... Ask any mouse that lived to tell the tale.

When you said you were going to show me the ropes, I thought you meant something else.

They say every vote matters. However, in my house, my vote is the only one that counts!

Hi, Glamourpuss. Ready to go?

I think I'm going to valet park.

Wow Buffy! This is a feast — smoked herring and smoked salmon. They are also Paul's favorites. I think we should ask for a doggie, er, kitty bag and take him leftovers.

Smokey: "Buffy, I told you the word you are looking for is kibble. This says kibitz, which means giving unwanted advice." Buffy: "Okay, okay. So stop kibitzing and turn the page already."

Hey Smokey, I'm over here. Pick a box and take a load off.

There's just no news in newspapers these days. No wonder they use them to make cat litter.

Excuse me. Cat coming through here....

The only way to control my diet is to shop for it myself.

Quit horsing around. Are you wearing blinkers or something? Of course I'm Cinderella's handsome prince. Now let's go!

I've tried saying "giddy-up" several times but he just keeps going up and down. Perhaps I should dangle a carrot in front of him.

You've got to give me more than that! I need movement and expressions. You've got to FEEL it! We're not taking selfies here ...

Gosh. I write really great fiction when I listen to my inner meow. The suspense is killing me.

There are so many "isms" in modern art — cubism, futurism, expressionism, and surrealism. I'd like to think I've captured them all in my self portrait.

The name is Bond. James Bond. FYI, my milk doesn't need to be shaken or stirred.

Okay! I'm the captain now.

I'll only sign for it if you promise it's not a reminder to visit the vet's office.

Hey, Doc. Don't even think about it!

If love is in the air, it smells like sardines.

What's with the horseradish all over my Passover gefilte fish? Bring on the chopped liver already!

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Making the Most of All Nine Lives by Sandy Robins, Paul Smulson. Copyright © 2016 Sandy Robins and Paul Smulson. Excerpted by permission of Triumph Books.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments,
Introduction,
The Extraordinary Life of Buffy the Cat,
About the Authors,