Love's Refraction: Jealousy and Compersion in Queer Women's Polyamorous Relationships

by Jillian Deri

Overview

Popular wisdom might suggest that jealousy is an inevitable outcome of non-monogamous relationships. In Love’s Refraction, Jillian Deri explores the distinctive question of how and why polyamorists – people who practice consensual non-monogamy – manage jealousy. Her focus is on the polyamorist concept of “compersion” – taking pleasure in a lover’s other romantic and sexual encounters.

By discussing the experiences of queer, lesbian, and bisexual polyamorous women, Deri highlights the social and structural context that surrounds jealousy. Her analysis, making use of the sociology of emotion and feminist intersectionality theory, shows how polyamory challenges traditional emotional and sexual norms.

Clear and concise, Love’s Refraction speaks to both the academic and the polyamorous community. Deri lets her interviewees speak for themselves, linking academic theory and personal experiences in a sophisticated, engaging, and accessible way.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781442624573
Publisher:	University of Toronto Press
Publication date:	03/27/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	168
File size:	4 MB

About the Author

Jillian Deri received her PhD in Sociology from Simon Fraser University.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

1 But Don’t You Get Jealous?

2 Polyagony: An Exploration of Jealousy

3 If You Move to the Rainforest, You’ve Got No Right to Complain about the Rain: From Polyagony to

4 Once You Say, “I’m Poly,” It Kind of Eliminates the Need for the Feminist Part: Gender, Jealousy, and Polyamory

5 Jealousy Can Be Hot if You Flip It: Working and Playing with Power

6 Polyamory’s Legacy: Concluding Remarks

Works Cited

Index

What People are Saying About This

Christian Klesse

“Love’s Refraction is a timely, innovative and exciting study of how lesbian, bisexual, or queer-identified women work through issues related to jealousy in polyamorous relations. This is a ground-breaking contribution to the cultural study of emotions and polyamory.”

Meg Barker

“Deri weaves together academic theory, past research, activist/community writing, and the voices of participants in a sophisticated, engaging, and accessible way. Love’s Refraction is a pleasure to read.”

Elisabeth Sheff

“Interesting to read and delightfully approachable, Love’s Refraction brings gender, power, emotions, and polyamory in to clear focus. Deri provides enough context that Love’s Refraction will be useful to people who had previously known nothing about polyamory, while at the same time loading the book with such rich detail that it is well worth reading for even the most seasoned researcher of polyamory.”

Editorial Reviews

‘Deri gives the reader great insight into ‘polyamorous practice"… She does an excellent job of reporting people’s experiences.’

—Karen Wilson, PsycCritiques vol 61:04:2016

“Deri weaves together academic theory, past research, activist/community writing, and the voices of participants in a sophisticated, engaging, and accessible way. Love’s Refraction is a pleasure to read.”—Meg Barker, Department of Psychology, The Open University
“Love’s Refraction is a timely, innovative and exciting study of how lesbian, bisexual, or queer-identified women work through issues related to jealousy in polyamorous relations. This is a ground-breaking contribution to the cultural study of emotions and polyamory.”—Christian Klesse, Department of Sociology, Manchester Metropolitan University

“Interesting to read and delightfully approachable, Love’s Refraction brings gender, power, emotions, and polyamory in to clear focus. Deri provides enough context that Love’s Refraction will be useful to people who had previously known nothing about polyamory, while at the same time loading the book with such rich detail that it is well worth reading for even the most seasoned researcher of polyamory.”

—Elisabeth Sheff, PhD, author of 'The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families'

From the Publisher

'Deri gives the reader great insight into 'polyamorous practice”... She does an excellent job of reporting people's experiences.'

PsycCritiques vol 61:04:2016 - Karen Wilson