Table of Contents
Foreword viii
Introduction xi
Part I What Will Happen? The Spiritual Journey 1
What Will It Be Like? 2
An Overview of the End-of-Life Journey
Will I Be Alone? 6
Will Others Be with You in Your Final Days or Hours?
Will I Choose My Time? 9
Does the Mind or Spirit Influence When We Pass?
Will I Be Aware? 13
The Possibility of Consciousness, Even If We're Not Awake or Responsive
I Had This Dream 18
A Description of Common Dream Themes
Part II What Will Happen? The Physical Journey 21
What Should I Do Now? 22
Expressing Your Wishes
How to Complete Advance Directive and Medical Power of Attorney Forms
Will I Be in Pain? 26
How Pain Medication Works
When to Use It
What to Tell Your Doctor
How to Minimize Side Effects
Understanding Common Pain Medication Myths
I Don't Want to Be a Burden 33
Ways to View and Cope with Dependence
I Wish I Had More Energy 37
Tools to Maximize Energy and Mobility
Do I Want to Help Plan My Remembrance Service? 43
Ways to Explore This Topic with Loved Ones
Part III Caregiving as a Family: How Do We Manage? 48
I've Never Done This Before 50
An Overview of Caregiving
What Does Hospice Do? 57
An Explanation of Services
Why Early Access to Hospice Can Help You and Your Loved Ones
What If We Don't Have Hospice Care? 66
Tips for Accessing Resources
Making the Most of Your Visit with Your Doctor
Guidance for Managing Care in a Rural Community
I Can't Do This Alone 71
Suggestions to Gather, Organize, and Manage Support from Friends, Neighbors, and Loved Ones
How Can I Keep Him Safe? 76
Understanding and Reducing Risks for Both the Individual and Caregiver
How Do I Bring the Bathroom toHim? 85
Options for Toileting and Bathing
I Don't Know What to Say 92
Insights to Achieve a Meaningful Visit
He Doesn't Want to Eat 96
Understanding and Adapting to a Changing Appetite
Ideas for Adapting Meal Schedules for People with Memory Impairment
Suggestions for Easy-to-Digest Foods and Beverages
For Loved Ones Who Live Far Away: What Can I Do? 104
Staying Informed and Supportive
Deciding When to Visit
I'm Exhausted! Exploring Care Settings Outside the Home 112
Choosing a Care Facility, If Needed, and Paying for Care
Part IV Closure: Will I Die a "Good" Death? 123
I'm Afraid to Lose Control 124
Examining the Fear of Loss of Control and Discovering Ways to Achieve Peace
I'm Not Ready 131
Making the Most of the Time You Have
Is It Too Late to Make Amends? 137
Achieving Reconciliation, Forgiveness, and Healing
I'm Ready-Why Am I Not Going? 141
Understanding and Achieving Acceptance and Peace
Why Me? Why Am I Being Punished? 146
Reconciling Mortality with Your Religious Beliefs
We Always Thought We'd Have More Time 152
Realizing Dreams and Appreciating the Choices You Have Made
Part V For Loved Ones and Caregivers: Sharing the Final Days 157
How Do We Keep Her Comfortable? 158
Giving Medication When Your Loved One Can No Longer Swallow Recognizing If Your Loved One Is in Pain Preventing Discomfort
How Do I Let Go? 166
Saying Good-bye: Helping Your Loved One Achieve Peace
How Will We Know When the End Is Near? 170
Changes You May See
Understanding What These Changes Mean
I Want to Be with Her When She Passes 179
Meeting Your Loved One's Needs...and Yours...in the Final Days
Ideas to Create a Peaceful Environment
I Want My Last Memory to Be a Good Memory 184
What to Do at the Time of Death
Ideas for Honoring and Caring for Your Loved One at the Time of Death
Part VI How Will I Go On? Coping with Loss 189
I Feel So Alone 190
An Introduction to Grief and Bereavement
How Are You? 197
How Love and Loss Shape Who We Are
Part VII Living 201
Is There Life after Death? 202
Does It Influence How I Live Now?
Can I Choose How I Live? 205
Appendices
Appendix A Additional Resources 210
Appendix B Important Documents to Gather 215
Appendix C Common Pain Medications 216
Appendix D Supportive Therapies 218
Acknowledgments 232
Index 236
About the Author 240
