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LIBERWOCKY
WHAT LIBERALS SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
By VICTOR GOLD WND Books
Copyright © 2007 VICTOR GOLD
All right reserved. ISBN: 978-0-7852-6057-8
Chapter One
A
AAUP (American Association of University Professors). In the theology of the political Left, the Liberal College of Cardinals. Note also Democratic Leadership Conference (DLC), the Liberal Curia Romana.
activist. A politically-concerned citizen given to the vigorous pursuit of Liberal causes. Not to be confused with extremist, a politically-concerned citizen given to the vigorous pursuit of Conservative causes (e.g., animal-rights activist, gun-rights extremist).
agenda, a.k.a. hidden agenda. As applied by Liberal conspiracy theorists (e.g., Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer), a clandestine plot by a Republican White House to suspend the Constitution, cancel all elections, and establish a government-by-junta. Note also October Surprise.
agrarian reformer. Liberal media characterization of China's Mao Tse-tung (1948) and Fidel Castro (1958) in response to simplistic Rightwing warnings that both were hardline Marxists who would establish dictatorial Communist regimes if they came to power.
alienated. Term used by Peter Jennings to describe Leftwing dissidents who take their grievances to the streets.
angry mob. Term used by Peter Jennings to describe Rightwing dissidents who take their grievances to the streets.
antiquated. Pertaining to that period of American history preceding the inauguration of John F. Kennedy, January 20, 1961. Note also archaic, antediluvian, moss-backed.
arch conservative, a.k.a. ultra conservative. As seen by the New York Times, any Conservative nominated to the federal bench by a Republican White House. Perceptive readers will note the absence of any comparable reference to arch- or ultra-Liberals in the Times style manual.
LIBERWOCKY
"I have been over into the future and it works." -LEFTWING JOURNALIST LINCOLN STEFFEN ARTICULATING HIS LIBERAL VISION OF THE SOVIET UNION, 1920.
articulate a vision. Campaign trope favored by a generation of Kennedy imitators (e.g., Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, John Edwards). Invariably accompanied by a ten-point program and hundred-page White Paper outlining the candidate's solutions to problems we didn't even know we had.
artistic integrity. Creative Liberal's refusal to truckle to the crass commercial demands of a capitalist marketplace, choosing instead to pursue studies in Italy on a six-figure, tax-free grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.
TRULY STUPID LIBERAL IDEAS
Putting the U.N. in the U.S. Prime real estate, an ideal site for a new sports palace for the Yankees or Giants, but nooo-o, the Liberwock Rockefellers, guilt-ridden over their forebears' having left them all that money, had to offer up their feel-good contribution to the cause of World Peace. A grand gesture but guess who's left to pick up the tab half-a-century later?
Item: The Washington Times, February 4, 2004:
WHITE HOUSE SEEKS TO LOAN U.N. FUNDS FOR RENOVATIONS
The Bush administration's new budget includes a $1.2 billion, thirty-year loan to renovate the aging United Nations headquarters and build a new annex, although U.N. officials expressed disappointment that Washington will charge interest on the loan.
B
bad judgment, a.k.a. bad decision. That which a Liberal politician says he exercised when caught accepting bribes, driving automobiles off piers, or engaging in sex with a young intern. Usually followed by a televised mea culpa in which he appears before voters in Armani-designed sackcloth to ask their forgiveness and understanding for having lost his moral compass. Note also judgmental, the refusal of a benighted constituency to forgive and understand.
balanced budget. Traditional Conservative obsession (discredited by John Maynard Keynes) re problems posed by government expenditures exceeding receipts. Oddly, though organizations like the Washington Post-Newsweek Corporation and the New York Times ardently support Keynes' enlightened view in government operations, they fail to see its merit in terms of their own business operations.
benign neglect. Term coined by Liberal U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan to denote the quadrennial interest of Democratic presidential candidates in the plight of the inner-city disadvantaged. See also ghetto-walking.
LIBERWOCKY
"But the fact is that I was not being careful. And that led to three violations. That's what I wanted to share with you today and share the personal pain of it and ask you to hear it, consider it, and reach your own judgments."
-SENATOR ROBERT TORRICELLI, AUGUST 3, 2002, CONFESSING TO BAD JUDGMENT AFTER ACCEPTING $54,700 IN ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN FUNDS, INCLUDING JEWELRY, ITALIAN SUITS, ANTIQUES, AND STRAIGHT CASH FROM A NEW JERSEY CONTRIBUTOR DOING BUSINESS WITH NORTH AND SOUTH KOREA.
bias. Warped, prejudicial slant on news coverage taken by Rightwing television reporters and radio talk-show hosts. In terms of mainstream reportage, nonexistent.
big government. Political entity whose "day" was officially declared "over" by Liberwock President Bill Clinton in his State of the Union message, January 1995. Nights are another matter.
bilingual education. By current U.S. educational standards, semi-literacy in two languages.
Brahmin, a.k.a. Eastern-bred elitist. In media coverage of presidential politics, label applied exclusively to George H.W. Bush, who was born in Massachusetts, attended Yale, joined Skull and Bones, and ran as a Republican; as distinguished from John Forbes Kerry, a Man of the People who was born in Massachusetts, attended Yale, joined Skull and Bones, and runs as a Democrat.
LIBERWOCKY "I told her that at the end of the show I'd look into the camera and say, 'From the Right, I'm Robert Novak,' then she'd say, 'From the Left, I'm Margaret Carlson,' and she said, 'Oh, I can't say that! I'm middle-of-the-road.' What planet are these people living on?" -CNN COMMENTATOR ROBERT NOVAK ON HIS EXPERIENCE BRIEFING TIME MAGAZINE COLUMNIST/CLINTON APOLOGIST MARGARET CARLSON FOR AN APPEARANCE ON CROSSFIRE.
LIBORIDDLE
Q. How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Fifty. One to change it, forty-nine to do the paperwork.
building bridges of understanding. Trade concessions to Communist China. Not to be confused with constructive exchange, i.e., foreign aid payoffs for Third World votes at the U.N.
bureaucrat. Your tax dollars inaction.
LIBERWOCKY
"What do you do at the Department of Interior?"
"I get off at four-thirty."
-ACTUAL DIALOGUE OVERHEARD ON WASHINGTON METRO, AUGUST 2000
(Continues...)
Excerpted from LIBERWOCKY by VICTOR GOLD Copyright © 2007 by VICTOR GOLD. Excerpted by permission.
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