Letters to a Young Therapist

by Mary Pipher

Overview

Mary Pipher's groundbreaking investigation of America's "girl-poisoning culture," Reviving Ophelia, has sold nearly two million copies and established its author as one of the nation's foremost authorities on family issues. In Letters to a Young Therapist, Dr. Pipher shares what she has learned in thirty years as a therapist, helping warring families, alienated adolescents, and harried professionals restore peace and beauty to their lives. Letters to a Young Therapist gives voice to her practice with an exhilarating mix of storytelling and sharp-eyed observation. And while her letters are addressed to an imagined young therapist, every one of us can take something away from them.

Long before "positive psychology" became a buzzword, Dr. Pipher practiced a refreshingly inventive therapy -- fiercely optimistic, free of dogma or psychobabble, and laced with generous warmth and practical common sense. But not until now has this gifted healer described her unique perspective on how therapy can help us revitalize our emotional landscape in an increasingly stressful world. Whether she's recommending daily swims for a sluggish teenager, encouraging a timid husband to become bolder, or simply bearing witness to a bereaved parent's sorrow, Dr. Pipher's compassion and insight shine from every page of this thoughtful and engaging book.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780465098958
Publisher:	Basic Books
Publication date:	02/09/2016
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	575,003
File size:	877 KB
Age Range:	13 - 18 Years

About the Author

Mary Pipher is the author of numerous books, including the bestsellers Women Rowing North, The Shelter of Each Other, Another Country, and the landmark Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, which spent 154 weeks of the New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into nineteen languages. Pipher has traveled all over the world lecturing to students, health-care professionals, and community groups. She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi

Preface to the 2016 Edition xiii

Introduction xxiii

Part I Winter

Breadcrumbs 3

Virtues 11

Mother Nature Delivers 19

Family Bashing 25

Deepening Therapy 33

Connecting the Dots 41

Part II Spring

Pain 51

Happiness 57

Metaphor 63

Endurance 69

Self-Care 73

Medication 79

Dating 85

Part III Summer

Marriage 95

Helping Ophelia's Family 103

Intentionality 113

Emotional Weather 119

Swimming 123

Danger 127

Therapy and Writing 133

Part IV Fall

Ethics 141

Story Doctors 147

Resistance 153

Failures 159

Healing Solutions from All Over the World 165

Yearning 169

Things Are Becoming Something Else 175

About the Author 181

Editorial Reviews

"Most people find talking to God more satisfying than talking to Freud," says Pipher, whether they believe in God or not. For fans of the bestselling Reviving Ophelia, such perfectly pitched, patient-centered observations will seem familiar and most welcome; for first-timers, Pipher invites readers: "Make some peach tea and find a cat for your lap. Let's visit." Even the most cynical psych snob will find that visit-a series of seasonally themed letters to a fictional graduate student describing psychotherapy from the inside out-refreshing, informative and insightful. In the brief time it takes to read this slim volume, the rhythms of blather and breakthrough, resistance and revelation come through clearly. Pipher also talks readers into becoming their own therapists, and good ones at that; her epistolary persona is one of a sympathetic woman but not a fuzzy emotional thinker. She admits "All families are a little crazy, but that's because all humans are a little crazy" and "Some therapy is just plain plodding," but she also includes many anecdotes that illuminate how a well-crafted metaphor, moment of quiet or carefully timed suggestion can change a life forever. Her view of therapists as storytellers is borne out in direct, engaging prose and succinct observation. To take just one example, Pipher notes that women see apologizing as saying, "I am sorry I hurt your feelings or caused you pain." Men see it as "I am eating shit." That's Mars and Venus in two sentences, and there's plenty more. The well-known perils of the profession emerge freshly, but also its profound rewards. 7-city author tour. (Aug.) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

Publishers Weekly

A long-time psychotherapist mingles reassuring tips for a newcomer to the field with personal recollections of her own successes and failures. Employing the same format as other volumes in this series (Todd Gitlin’s Letters to a Young Activist, p. 205, etc.), Pipher (Reviving Ophelia, 1994, etc.) writes letters to Laura, a young graduate student, setting forth some of her views on what therapy is all about and how good therapists do their work. The letters are grouped into seasons and date from early December 2001 to late November 2002. The winter correspondence discourses on the characteristics of good therapists, conducting family therapy, and helping clients connect surface complaints with deeper issues. Spring takes the author into the subjects of how to help patients deal with pain and achieve happiness, the use of metaphors as therapeutic devices, and the role of antidepressants in therapy. Pipher considers family therapy in more detail in the summer letters, which also take up the problem of the therapist’s personal safety. In the fall, she turns to ethical issues facing therapists, how storytelling can help clients see themselves in more positive ways, how to recognize and deflect patients’ resistance, and how to deal with failure. Ruefully recounting some of her own missteps and bad judgments, Pipher reminds her student that therapists are human and errors are inevitable. Throughout, she eschews psychological jargon and takes a commonsensical approach to the vicissitudes of living. As she puts it in describing her own sessions with clients, "I do bread-and-butter work": she often suggests getting a good night’s sleep, going for a swim, or taking a walk. Although Pipher definesthe therapist’s job as clarifying issues and presenting choices rather than telling people what to do, giving advice seems to be second nature to her. Fortunately, the advice appears to be well considered and benign. Agent: Susan Cohen/Riverside Agency

Kirkus Reviews

"A wise and compassionate book."—Washington Post Book World

"In Letters, Pipher comes across as more of a tribal elder than clinician, an empathetic observer offering solid advice that just happens to be supported by decades of research and experience."—Florida Times-Union

"Pipher's book just might be one of the most soothing books you'll ever read."—The Plain Dealer

"Giving advice seems to be second nature to her.”—Kirkus

“Refreshing, informative and insightful.”—Publishers Weekly

“Mary Pipher is a national treasure. Everyone, not just therapists, can benefit from this wise, compassionate, lovely book.”—Jean Kilbourne, author of Can’t Buy My Love

“Writing with her usual grace, compassion and humility, Pipher once again proves herself to be a magnificent storyteller and a wise, trustworthy guide for our times. She speaks straight to the heart.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger

“Mary Pipher makes me proud to be a therapist.”—William J. Doherty, author of Take Back Your Marriage

“What shines through the pages of this small book is Mary Pipher’s abundant wisdom, rare compassion, simple courage, disarming charm, and outrageous simplicity.”—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly

“Mary Pipher’s tidy, cordial book is so crammed with spunk and wide-ranging wisdom I wish it were required reading for all three branches of government. Pipher has done what we want therapists to do—she’s shared with us her love of life and hatred of cruelty and her hope for all of us.”—Carol Bly, author of Beyond the Writers’ Workshop

From the Publisher