Publishers Weekly
"Most people find talking to God more satisfying than talking to Freud," says Pipher, whether they believe in God or not. For fans of the bestselling Reviving Ophelia, such perfectly pitched, patient-centered observations will seem familiar and most welcome; for first-timers, Pipher invites readers: "Make some peach tea and find a cat for your lap. Let's visit." Even the most cynical psych snob will find that visit-a series of seasonally themed letters to a fictional graduate student describing psychotherapy from the inside out-refreshing, informative and insightful. In the brief time it takes to read this slim volume, the rhythms of blather and breakthrough, resistance and revelation come through clearly. Pipher also talks readers into becoming their own therapists, and good ones at that; her epistolary persona is one of a sympathetic woman but not a fuzzy emotional thinker. She admits "All families are a little crazy, but that's because all humans are a little crazy" and "Some therapy is just plain plodding," but she also includes many anecdotes that illuminate how a well-crafted metaphor, moment of quiet or carefully timed suggestion can change a life forever. Her view of therapists as storytellers is borne out in direct, engaging prose and succinct observation. To take just one example, Pipher notes that women see apologizing as saying, "I am sorry I hurt your feelings or caused you pain." Men see it as "I am eating shit." That's Mars and Venus in two sentences, and there's plenty more. The well-known perils of the profession emerge freshly, but also its profound rewards. 7-city author tour. (Aug.) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
A long-time psychotherapist mingles reassuring tips for a newcomer to the field with personal recollections of her own successes and failures. Employing the same format as other volumes in this series (Todd Gitlin’s Letters to a Young Activist, p. 205, etc.), Pipher (Reviving Ophelia, 1994, etc.) writes letters to Laura, a young graduate student, setting forth some of her views on what therapy is all about and how good therapists do their work. The letters are grouped into seasons and date from early December 2001 to late November 2002. The winter correspondence discourses on the characteristics of good therapists, conducting family therapy, and helping clients connect surface complaints with deeper issues. Spring takes the author into the subjects of how to help patients deal with pain and achieve happiness, the use of metaphors as therapeutic devices, and the role of antidepressants in therapy. Pipher considers family therapy in more detail in the summer letters, which also take up the problem of the therapist’s personal safety. In the fall, she turns to ethical issues facing therapists, how storytelling can help clients see themselves in more positive ways, how to recognize and deflect patients’ resistance, and how to deal with failure. Ruefully recounting some of her own missteps and bad judgments, Pipher reminds her student that therapists are human and errors are inevitable. Throughout, she eschews psychological jargon and takes a commonsensical approach to the vicissitudes of living. As she puts it in describing her own sessions with clients, "I do bread-and-butter work": she often suggests getting a good night’s sleep, going for a swim, or taking a walk. Although Pipher definesthe therapist’s job as clarifying issues and presenting choices rather than telling people what to do, giving advice seems to be second nature to her. Fortunately, the advice appears to be well considered and benign. Agent: Susan Cohen/Riverside Agency
From the Publisher
"A wise and compassionate book."—Washington Post Book World
"In Letters, Pipher comes across as more of a tribal elder than clinician, an empathetic observer offering solid advice that just happens to be supported by decades of research and experience."—Florida Times-Union
"Pipher's book just might be one of the most soothing books you'll ever read."—The Plain Dealer
"Giving advice seems to be second nature to her.”—Kirkus
“Refreshing, informative and insightful.”—Publishers Weekly
“Mary Pipher is a national treasure. Everyone, not just therapists, can benefit from this wise, compassionate, lovely book.”—Jean Kilbourne, author of Can’t Buy My Love
“Writing with her usual grace, compassion and humility, Pipher once again proves herself to be a magnificent storyteller and a wise, trustworthy guide for our times. She speaks straight to the heart.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger
“Mary Pipher makes me proud to be a therapist.”—William J. Doherty, author of Take Back Your Marriage
“What shines through the pages of this small book is Mary Pipher’s abundant wisdom, rare compassion, simple courage, disarming charm, and outrageous simplicity.”—Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly
“Mary Pipher’s tidy, cordial book is so crammed with spunk and wide-ranging wisdom I wish it were required reading for all three branches of government. Pipher has done what we want therapists to do—she’s shared with us her love of life and hatred of cruelty and her hope for all of us.”—Carol Bly, author of Beyond the Writers’ Workshop
