Kissing Girls on Shabbat: A Memoir

by Sara Glass

Overview

“A searing testament to the strength in claiming one’s destiny.” —The Washington Post

A moving coming-of-age memoir in the vein of Unorthodox and Educated, about one young woman’s desperate attempt to protect her children and family while also embracing her queer identity in a controlling Hasidic community.

Growing up in the Hasidic community of Brooklyn’s Borough Park, Sara Glass knew one painful truth: what was expected of her and what she desperately wanted were impossibly opposed. Tormented by her attraction to women and trapped in a loveless arranged marriage, she found herself unable to conform to her religious upbringing and soon, she made the difficult decision to walk away from the world she knew.

Sara’s journey to self-acceptance began with the challenging battle for a divorce and custody of her children, an act that left her on the verge of estrangement from her family and community. Controlled by the fear of losing custody of her two children, she forced herself to remain loyal to the compulsory heteronormativity baked into Hasidic Judaism and married again. But after suffering profound loss and a shocking sexual assault, Sara decided to finally be completely true to herself.

Kissing Girls on Shabbat is not only a love letter to Glass’s children, herself, and her family—it is an unflinching window into the world of ultra-conservative Orthodox Jewish communities and an inspiring celebration of learning to love yourself.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781668031216
Publisher:	Atria/One Signal Publishers
Publication date:	06/11/2024
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	148,481
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Sara Glass, PhD, LCSW, is a therapist, writer, and speaker who helps members of the queer community and individuals who have survived trauma to live bold, honest, and proud lives. She lives in Manhattan, New York. Find out more at DrSaraGlass.com.

Editorial Reviews

04/29/2024

Psychotherapist Glass debuts with a searing account of coming to terms with her homosexuality as an ultra-Orthodox Jew. At 19, Glass was teaching at a religious girl’s school in Brooklyn’s Borough Park neighborhood when she met and fell in love with Dassa. The pressures of secrecy snuffed out the women’s brief romance, and Glass entered an arranged marriage with a man named Yossi in the early 2000s. The couple had two children, but Glass felt increasingly frustrated by their lack of passion, and she eventually left Yossi when he refused to let her pursue a PhD in social work. She enrolled in a graduate program, married another man, and carefully maintained her strict Hasidic community’s rituals of observance so she could keep seeing her children. After obtaining her degree, Glass finally came out of the closet, divorced her second husband, and moved to Manhattan with her children. She suffuses the narrative with astonishing empathy for the people and forces that stood between her and liberation, and few readers will be unmoved by the depth of her struggle or the strength of her resistance. This leaves a mark. Agent: Harvey Klinger, Harvey Klinger Literary. (June)

Publishers Weekly

A searing testament to the strength in claiming one’s destiny.”
—The Washington Post

“A high-stakes journey of secrets, redemption, and one woman's fight for her truth.”
—Anna Martin, Host of the New York Times Modern Love Podcast

“Dr. Glass has given an honest, jarring, fascinating look at a world few people know. She has resisted the urge to sentimentalize or speak in euphemisms. Rather it is honest, beautifully told, and wrenching.”
—Max Gross, author of The Lost Shtetl, winner of The National Book Award and the Jewish Fiction Award from the Association of Jewish Libraries

“Searching and provocative, this book chronicles a woman’s struggle with faith and freedom while also celebrating the necessity of personal choice. A courageously candid memoir.”
—Kirkus

“[Written] with astonishing empathy for the people and forces that stood between her and liberation. Few readers will be unmoved by the depth of [Glass's] struggle or the strength of her resistance. This leaves a mark.”
—Publishers Weekly

“By no means an easy read, but definitely a necessary one.”
—Betches

“Sara Glass’ heartfelt story of balancing motherhood, career aspirations, sexuality, and faith while breaking away from her Hasidic origins gives us a fascinating look at the complex tapestry of Jewish life in New York and beyond. Her honest, flaws-and-all self-examination, while coming from a very specific and unique place, reveals universal truths.”
—Stuart Rojstaczer, author of The Mathematician’s Shiva

“Lyrical and evocative, Glass offers an immersive read and an unflinching view of life in a secluded ultra-religious sect of Judaism. However, it is also, and perhaps foremost, the story of the self-shattering struggles that many experience when rigid conformity and compliance override freedom; and where silence, secrecy, and obedience outweigh truth, health, or hope. Sara Glass carved her own path to life, and her book may well help shape it for others.”
—Na’ama Yehuda, author of Communicating Trauma

From the Publisher

2024-03-29
A New York City psychotherapist tells the story of how she broke away from orthodox Judaism to come into her own as a successful lesbian professional.

Glass grew up in Brooklyn as a member of the ultraorthodox GurHasidic sect. The girls she knew celebrated marriage and a life dedicated to God, their husbands, and their children. However, the author, who had her first lesbian relationship at 19, knew that “the last thing I wanted was to live with a boy for the rest of my life.” Still, she married Yossi, the first young man who passed her family’s scrutiny, just before she turned 20 and then began to express her unconventionality by seeking a university education and advanced degrees. Inevitably, though, “the walls between my universes sank through the ground” as she struggled with the demands of her professional work and her life as a wife tied to a man and religion that made her feel like little more than chattel. Against her family’s wishes, she divorced Yossi and quietly began experimenting with secular life and complex relationships with both women and men. One man, Eli, became both her second husband and “most enthusiastic cheerleader” as she pursued her doctorate. “He stuck around, found my wounds and sewed them up one by one,” she writes. Eventually, her hard-won self-knowledge helped her overcome one final hurdle when she fought Yossi and orthodox religious laws to keep her children and school them in ways that would give them power over their own lives. “I married the man I was told was best for me and was stuck with consequences that would last my entire lifetime,” she writes. “I didn’t want that for my children.” Searching and provocative, this book chronicles a woman’s struggle with faith and freedom while also celebrating the necessity of personal choice.

A courageously candid memoir.

Kirkus Reviews