It Takes a Family: Creating Lasting Sobriety, Togetherness, and Happiness

by Debra Jay

Overview

This second edition of the groundbreaking book by acclaimed interventionist and educator Debra Jay celebrates the unique and powerful role families play in successful long-term recovery from addiction. Readers receive tips, tools, and a framework for pursuing the proven path of Structured Family Recovery.

As a companion to Love First, the classic guide to family intervention, It Takes a Family delivers a proven method for families and friends to step beyond the initial intervention and reinvent their relationships as part of a family recovery team. In straightforward, compassionate language, Debra Jay offers readers a structured model that shows family members and friends how they can work together to overcome the obstacles many people with addiction face in their initial recovery. Through easy-to-follow strategies and exercises, family members learn about and address the challenges of enabling, denial, and pain while developing their communication skills and embracing the joy that comes from healthier and happier relationships.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781616499129
Publisher:	Hazelden Publishing
Publication date:	05/04/2021
Series:	Love First Family Recovery
Pages:	340
Sales rank:	204,801
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Debra Jay is a noted author, speaker, and trainer for addiction professionals. She is the coauthor, with Jeff Jay, of the best-selling Love First: A Family’s Guide to Intervention and author of No More Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction. Debra was a guest lecturer on addiction and related issues at Wayne State University for fourteen years. She has been writing a newspaper advice column on families and addiction since 1996. She has served as a board member for Brighton Hospital, St. John Providence Health System, and Dawn Farm. She is a recipient of the 2012 Letitia M. Close BVM Award in recognition of a significant ministry in helping women with the disease of addiction. Today Debra and Jeff run a national private practice, providing intervention training and consultation services for families.

Debra was the addiction expert on The Oprah Winfrey Show for three seasons and has appeared on The Dr. Oz Show. She is a graduate of the Ohio State University and of the Hazelden addiction professionals training program.

Table of Contents

Foreword xv

Acknowledgments xvii

A Note to the Reader xix

Introduction: We Come Home Together 1

Part 1 What We Need to Know 5

1 The Missing Elements 7

2 Stick with the Winners 15

3 How It All Started 21

4 Introducing Structured Family Recovery 27

5 A Misunderstood Disease 35

6 Motivation Isn't the Answer 49

7 A Closer Look at Relapse 61

8 Tiny Tasks 73

9 A New Look at Enabling Addiction 85

10 Families Pay a High Price 97

11 Don't Forget the Children 107

12 Our Beloved Alcoholic or Addict Pays Dearly 113

13 A Conversation with a Recovering Addict 117

Part 2 What We Need to Do 127

14 It Takes a Family 129

15 Begin with a Team 133

16 How Do I Talk to My Addict? 139

17 How Do I Talk to My Family? 143

18 Two Recovering Addicts Talk about Structured Family Recovery 147

19 Parents of an Addicted Son Talk about Structured Family Recovery 159

20 Keep It Simple: Getting Started 169

21 Getting the Right Support 177

22 Put the Basics into Place 183

23 How to Navigate an SFR Meeting 193

24 Don't Drop Bombs: Red, Yellow, Green Light 201

25 We Use Checklists 207

26 Structured Family Recovery Checklists 211

27 Everyone Creates a Recovery Plan 223

28 My Recovery Plan 225

29 Understanding AA and Other Twelve Step Groups 243

30 Understanding Al-Anon and Other Twelve Step Groups for Families

31 The Twelve Step Sponsor Relationship 259

32 We Practice the Spirituality of Kindness 263

33 We Cultivate Trustworthiness 269

34 Recovery Makes Everything Else Possible 275

Epilogue: The Hero's Journey 277

Part 3 Structured Family Recovery Weekly Meetings 279

Opening and Closing Statements for Structured Family Recovery Weekly Meetings 281

First Quarter 283

Second Quarter 311

Third Quarter 337

Fourth Quarter 363

Twelve Step Resources 390

The Twelve Steps of Al-Anon 391

The Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous 392

Notes 393

Index 409

About the Author 417