It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History

by Jennifer Wright Narrated by Hillary Huber

Overview

It Ended Badly: Thirteen of the Worst Breakups in History is a history of heartbreak-replete with beheadings, uprisings, creepy sex dolls, and celebrity gossip-and its disastrously bad consequences throughout time

Spanning eras and cultures from ancient Rome to medieval England to 1950s Hollywood, Jennifer Wright's It Ended Badly guides you through the worst of the worst in historically bad breakups. In the throes of heartbreak, Emperor Nero had just about everyone he ever loved-from his old tutor to most of his friends-put to death. Oscar Wilde's lover, whom he went to jail for, abandoned him when faced with being cut off financially from his wealthy family and wrote several self-serving books denying the entire affair. And poor volatile Caroline Lamb sent Lord Byron one hell of a torch letter and enclosed a bloody lock of her own pubic hair. Your obsessive social media stalking of your ex isn't looking so bad now, is it?
With a wry wit and considerable empathy, Wright digs deep into the archives to bring these thirteen terrible breakups to life. She educates, entertains, and really puts your own bad breakup conduct into perspective. It Ended Badly is for anyone who's ever loved and lost and maybe sent one too many ill-considered late-night emails to their ex, reminding us that no matter how badly we've behaved, no one is as bad as Henry VIII.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

★ 06/01/2015
Journalist Wright debuts with this delightful, high-concept collection of essays. Presented as a self-help manual for the newly single, the book consists of funny, irreverent entries, each devoted to a different famous breakup, from ancient Rome (Nero and Poppea) to the 20th century (Liz Taylor, Debbie Reynolds, and Eddie Fisher). The grim personal details, presented to hilarious effect in pieces with titles like “If You Were Dumped, Read About Edith Wharton and Morton Fullerton,” will make the reader want to delve further into the history, especially when they learn that Anna Ivanova, Empress of Russia, forced her jester to dress like a chicken and pretend to lay eggs when visitors arrived. According to the author, the past is “not that different and certainly not any better” than the present, relationship-wise. Most people go through breakups during which they feel and act terribly. Looking to history provides reassurance that this “is almost never the defining moment of one’s life.” The book teaches even as it entertains, and applies modern psychology to the behavior of its subjects, providing both amusement and consolation to people likely in need of both. Agent: Nicole Tourtelot, Kuhn Projects Agency. (Nov.)

From the Publisher

"Wright combines a deep knowledge of her subjects with an abiding love for their depravity; she chronicles their breakups with a wit as sharp as a guillotine's blade."—People

"The tone—intimate, whimsical, smart, and silly at once—continues through two millennia of stories of love lost and found... Wright dishes dirt on all of them...with the gleeful irreverence of your wittiest friend recapping a particularly juicy episode of reality television."—The Boston Globe

"Immensely entertaining... If you’ve gone through a breakup, stock up on Haagen-Daz, block your ex’s number, get drunk with your friends and buy this book."—BUST Magazine

"This is balm for the brokenhearted: we are laughing! We are learning!...Above all, It Ended Badly offers hope: for the late-night drunk texters, the doughnut smashers, and everyone else currently exhibiting bad breakup behavior."—Kirkus

"Although the 13 stories feature heartbreaking and horrific tales, Wright leaves the reader with positive and hopeful thoughts on love... The writing fits right in with the work of comedian authors Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler."—Library Journal (starred review)

“Delightful... funny, irreverent... The book teaches even as it entertains, and applies modern psychology to the behavior of its subjects, providing both amusements and consolation to people likely in need of both.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“When it comes to love and desire, conquest is thrilling, revenge is delicious, but does anything really satisfy like schadenfreude? Here, have a heaping plate of it, courtesy of the wittiest writer on the beat.” —Ben Ryder Howe, author of My Korean Deli

“I took It Ended Badly and a bottle of wine to the couch, and I didn't get up until both were finished.” —Alexis Coe, author of Alice+Freda Forever: A Murder in Memphis

“From Nero's narcissism to Oscar Wilde's heartbreak to Debbie Reynolds drama with Eddie Fisher and Elizabeth Taylor, Jennifer Wright provides an illuminating chronicle of love, heartbreak and everything in-between. It's a must-read for anyone who loves history or a good story, especially when accompanied with a pint of ice cream and romantic angst. And unlike the tumultuous relationships she covers in these pages, you'll be sad when It Ended Badly is over.” —Mary Pilon, author of The New York Times bestselling The Monopolists

“Heartbroken? Jennifer Wright has the antidote. A compassionate, dishy, and very funny tour of the unbelievable but true antics of the world's most legendary exes, It Ended Badly is the perfect break up cure. You will cry until you laugh.” —Iris Smyles, author of Iris Has Free Time

“This fantastic book will make you feel so much better about your break ups!” —Danny Strong, creator, writer, and director of TV's Empire

author of The New York Times bestselling The Monop Mary Pilon

From Nero's narcissism to Oscar Wilde's heartbreak to Debbie Reynolds drama with Eddie Fisher and Elizabeth Taylor, Jennifer Wright provides an illuminating chronicle of love, heartbreak and everything in-between. It's a must-read for anyone who loves history or a good story, especially when accompanied with a pint of ice cream and romantic angst. And unlike the tumultuous relationships she covers in these pages, you'll be sad when It Ended Badly is over.

author of Alice+Freda Forever: A Murder in Mem Alexis Coe

I took It Ended Badly and a bottle of wine to the couch, and I didn't get up until both were finished.

Library Journal

★ 10/01/2015
Wright (New York Observer and New York Post contributor) recalls some of the most dramatic and unbelievable yet true breakups in history, beginning with the murderous Nero and Poppaea and concluding with one of Hollywood's most infamous love triangles; that of Debbie Reynolds, Eddie Fisher, and Elizabeth Taylor. The author also sprinkles in the lesser-known and just as memorable trials of characters such as the eccentric Timothy Dexter. Opening with a juxtaposition of quotes from Buddha and Taylor Swift, Wright quickly establishes the sarcasm and wit that fill the pages, making each chapter read as juicy gossip. Although the 13 stories feature heartbreaking and horrific tales, Wright leaves the reader with positive and hopeful thoughts on love. While this is historical nonfiction, the writing fits right in with the work of comedian authors Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler. VERDICT Wright's ability to blend historical facts with humor will make this book attractive to readers looking for a delightful page-turner, as well as those who enjoy the dynamic people who have been peppered throughout history. [See "Editors' Fall Picks," LJ 9/1/15, p. 29.]—Katie McGaha, Cty. of Los Angeles P.L.

School Library Journal

04/01/2016
"Happily ever after" did not happen for the 13 couples in this book. Starting with Nero and Poppaea Sabina, winding through the ages to describe the breakups of couples, such as English King Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine, and Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, it is a veritable Who's Who of bad relationships. There are some unbelievable stories here about famous, creative personalities who lived at the edge of society's mores. These rulers, artists, and writers were already larger-than-life, but heartbreak does not distinguish among the rich, poor, and eccentric. Whether their culture tolerated cruelty that was not acceptable in many other time periods (Nero and Poppaea Sabina), condemned homosexuals to a prison sentence or worse (Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas), or even tolerated their bizarre behavior (Oskar Kokoschka and Alma Mahler), each breakup left its mark on the individuals involved. For teens who know their history of popular and literary culture, this book will be a light and breezy read. The author peppers comparisons with contemporary figures, which may motivate readers to head to the nearest Wikipedia article to learn more. There are many interesting rumors, facts, and stories here that certainly can encourage further research into the complete history. VERDICT Definitely hand this title to teens who enjoy talking or reading about history. Also consider suggesting to those who have just broken off an important relationship—it could certainly provide a fascinating perspective.—Connie Williams, Petaluma High School, CA

Product Details

BN ID:	2940172212840
Publisher:	Macmillan Audio
Publication date:	11/03/2015
Edition description:	Unabridged

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