Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat

by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg MD

Overview

What the latest science tells us about the brain's reward systems, love, and sex — and how to prevent an affair from destroying your life

How can I prevent an affair from destroying my life? Whether I am the cheater or the betrayed partner, how can I survive, even thrive, in the wake of an affair? Infidelity provides key insights to find your true sexual and romantic potential and advocates honesty, trust, and integrity—the fundamentals of love.

People often cheat in a haze of delusion, believing that it will bring them real love, help them have better sex, lift their spirits, and boost their sagging self-esteem; however, very often, cheating wrecks relationships and erodes self-esteem. In Infidelity, one of America's top doctors combines neuroscience, addiction theory, and common sense to explain the three types of cheating: emotional, virtual, and physical; why they're so prevalent; and how to live in accordance with our values when we are drawn to stray.

Examining what the latest science tells us about the brain's reward systems, love, and sex, Dr. Kenneth Paul Rosenberg reveals what drives men and women to cheat and what they can do about it. At a time when America's pornography obsession rises to the level of a competing sexual interest, when is porn a problem, and when does it count as infidelity? And since it is not the act of infidelity alone that destroys a couple, how does any couple prevent growing apart? Through concrete rules addressing these and other vital questions, Dr. Rosenberg guides couples on how to prevent cheating, stop it from progressing, and repair the damage caused by an affair.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780738220222
Publisher:	Hachette Books
Publication date:	05/15/2018
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.30(d)

About the Author

Dr. Kenneth Rosenberg is a board-certified addiction psychiatrist, Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and a certified sex addiction therapist. He maintains a private practice in Manhattan.

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

Introduction xi

Part 1 Biology and the Basics 1

1 The Basics of a Cheating Heart 3

2 Desire: The Engine of the Affair 19

3 Sex and Love: The Primordial Addictions 36

Part 2 The Taste for New Sex 59

4 Cyber Relationships and America's Obsession with Pom 61

5 The Emotional Affair 78

6 The Sex Quest for Threesomes and Orgies 92

7 When Pain Is Pleasure, and Other Kink 105

Part 3 Discovery, Disclosure, and Moving Forward Toward Healing 119

8 Discovery: The Truth Comes Out-What Now? 123

9 Disclosure: Prepare Yourself for the Messiness 141

10 Emotional Healing 158

11 Sexual Healing and Fidelity 179

12 Sex and Love with More Than One: Do Open Relationships Work? 206

13 Closing Thoughts 226

Appendix: For More Help 233

Acknowledgments 237

Notes 239

Index 255

Editorial Reviews

"Finally, a brilliant treatise by a leading MD psychiatrist on the Lucifer of relationships: infidelity. Dr. Rosenberg uses the newest data from neuroscience and sex and addiction research to tell us who, why, when and where people cheat, then gives us some clear-headed and sophisticated advice on how to survive, indeed even thrive, after the affair. It's an essential read."—Dr. Helen Fisher, The Kinsey Institute

"Straightforward, sex-positive, and comprehensive, Dr. Rosenberg's guide for couples confronting infidelity can help them restore their relationship and sex life."—Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, author of Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Meditations on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

"Filled with common sense tips for those caught in the tangled webs we weave with betrayal. As a working psychiatrist with specialties in addiction and sexuality, Dr. Rosenberg combines the best of current science on the brain, human intimacy, and mental health issues."
—Dr. Patrick Carnes, author of Out of the Shadows

"A timely, intimate, authoritative, and always fascinating look at a vexing problem, why people cheat on partners they love."—Peter D. Kramer, author of Ordinarily Well, Should You Leave? and Listening to Prozac

"A must-read, insightful, well-written book on a timely and important topic."—Bruce Roseman, MD, Family Doctor, Assistant Professor of Family Medicine and OB-GYN at Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, NY

"[An] eye-opening book...Delves deep into the roles that biology, psychology, and cultural norms can all play when it comes to infidelity and its repercussions...A must-read for those who have found themselves dealing with an affair."—Celebrity Parents Magazine

"In addition to using data from the therapy sessions with the unfaithful and their wronged spouses Dr. Rosenberg brings to bear a broader perspective from contemporary research in biology, genetics, psychiatry, and so forth to demonstrate 'the science behind sexual betrayal, including the fact that our brains are actually wired to be addicted to sex.'"—New York Journal of Books

From the Publisher