Table of Contents
1 Introduction xi
2 The Convent or the Lights on Broadway 1
3 Mourning Misty 3
4 My Evolution as a Minimalist 6
5 The Crumb 9
6 Pillsbury Bake-Off 11
7 Hocking the jewelry 13
8 The Sailor's Wife Comes Full Circle 15
9 Afraid of Hummingbirds 19
10 Public Restrooms 21
11 My Struggle with Mindfulness 23
12 Cranberries and Silver 26
13 Speeding Ticket-Because It "Felt Right" 28
14 Tweezers 30
15 Sailors and Clutter 32
16 Learning to Cook Without Butter (most of the time) 33
17 The Plastic Jungle 35
18 I Hate Cilantro 37
19 My Fashion Consultants 39
20 My Money Challenges 41
21 Beans and Bones 44
22 My Back Seat-Front Seat Driver 46
23 The Wannabe Activist 48
24 Getting in the Wrong Car 50
25 Compartmentalizing 52
26 Dolls and How My Christmas Shopping Has Evolved 54
27 Passwords 57
28 Hyperventilation in the Craft Store 59
29 A Marketer's Dream 61
30 Our Asymmetrical Time Clocks 64
31 Shoe Stores, Peep-toes, and Pedicures 66
32 Paper Towels 68
33 My Love Hate Relationship with Bleach 70
34 Minimalism and My Handbag 72
35 Sorry, Mom 75
36 My Unused Coupons 78
37 Voice Activation 80
38 Belated Cards 82
39 Speaking of Holiday Cards 84
40 My Plants 87
41 Adult Children-Grandchildren-Walking a Fine Line 89
42 My Guardian Angel 92
43 Marriage and Politics 94
44 Broken Glass, Marbles, a Shag Carpet, and a Kidney Stone 97
45 My Backup Plan 99
46 Our Opposite Thermostats 101
47 Blowing My Cover 103
48 The Lipstick Dilemma 105
49 Pick Your Poison 107
50 The New, the Old, and the Socks 109
51 The Peanut Butter Jar and Other Plastic Containers 112
52 Sunglasses 115
53 Surfing 117
54 Time to Relocate 119
55 Time to Downsize 121
56 We're Building a House! 123
57 Closing the Door to Another Chapter 125
58 Movin' On In! 128
59 Energy Efficient 131
60 First Impressions 133
61 Applying for Health Insurance 135
62 Parking 137
63 My Unphotogenic Smile 139
64 Facebook 142
65 The Final Check 144
66 Jeans 146
67 The GPS Lady 148
68 Stop "Clicking"! 150
69 The Accident 152
70 Ironing-What's That? 154
71 Sports-Pain-Weather 156
72 Grocery Cart Amnesia 158
73 Running into Glass Doors 160
74 Wraps 162
75 Who Will Blow Dry My Hair When I'm Old? 164
76 Home Away from Home 166
77 The Two Times I Almost Stopped Eating Chicken 168
78 How Did the Ants Find the Donuts? 171
79 Elevator at the Westin 173
80 The Audi 175
81 Turkey Vultures 177
82 Trivia Night and My Ego 179
83 I Want to Fix Everything 181
84 In Heaven There's No Money No Stuff-and No Porta-Potties 182
85 Acknowledgements 184
