Table of Contents
Introduction 1
What You Can Do In A Day 1
Foolish Assumptions 2
Icons Used in This Book 2
Chapter 1: Assessing Your Emotional Intelligence 3
Feeling, Thinking, and Behaving Like an Emotionally Intelligent Person 3
Feeling like an emotionally intelligent person 4
Thinking like an emotionally intelligent person 5
Behaving like an emotionally intelligent person 7
Recognizing an Emotionally Unintelligent Person 8
Chapter 2: Measuring Emotional Intelligence 11
Gauging Emotional Intelligence 11
Making the Case for Emotional Intelligence 14
Understanding How EQ Tests Work 15
The EQ-i 15
The EQ-360 18
The MSCEIT 20
Chapter 3: Managing Your Emotions 23
Okay, I Feel Sad, Mad, or Bad — Now What? 23
Using cognitive restructuring to improve your mood 24
Using methods of distraction to help you feel better 28
Relaxation, meditation, and similar activities for emotional success 29
Progressive relaxation 29
Diaphragmatic or belly breathing 30
Acupressure 31
Purposeful distraction 32
Becoming more mindful 33
Working Your Way Out of a Bad Situation 34
Short-term approaches 34
Long-term solutions 36
Changing Your Emotions for the Better 37
Recognizing the importance of practice 38
Developing a positive psychology 38
Chapter 4: Managing Other People’s Emotions 41
Changing How You React to Others 42
Being aware of your gut reaction 42
Working through alternative responses 44
Managing the Emotions of Others 45
Identifying where other people are coming from 46
Establishing a realistic alternative behavior 47
Getting a person to want to change 49
Encountering Obnoxious People 50
Chapter 5: Using Empathy to Improve Your
Emotional Intelligence 53
Knowing the Difference between Empathy and Sympathy 54
Beginning with you, not I 54
Knowing why the difference is important 54
Reading Other People’s Emotions 56
Exploring Situations in Which Empathy Can Really Help You 58
Strengthening intimate relationships 59
Understanding friends and relatives 60
Dealing with tense situations that involve strangers 61
Chapter 6: Where to Go from Here 65
Taking Your First Steps 65
Visiting dummies.com 66