I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder

by Wendi Aarons

Overview

An honest and hilarious memoir about second acts, self-acceptance, and celebrating what happens when a woman gets older, wiser, and a lot more excited by sales at Eileen Fisher.

A late bloomer who came to her career later in life, humorist Wendi Aarons shares the joys, stumbles, and outfit mishaps she’s experienced on her road to no longer giving a f***. It's a journey from chunky heels and bad choices from the juniors department to the panache of a comfortable linen tunic (metaphorically, but also literally), enjoying her second act and unapologetically chasing her dreams. With relatable personal anecdotes, an irresistible comedic voice, and inspirational takeaways—you, too, can find self-acceptance and also age-appropriate fashion pajamas—I’m Wearing Tunics Now is a comic memoir with humor and heart.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781524873738
Publisher:	Andrews McMeel Publishing
Publication date:	11/15/2022
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	611,903
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Wendi Aarons is a writer and award-winning humorist whose work has frequently appeared in outlets like McSweeney's and The New Yorker, among many others. She is the author of the middle-grade novel Ginger Mancino, Kid Comedian and a contributor to the Listen To Your Mother: What She Said Then, What We’re Saying Now and Keep Scrolling Til You Feel Something anthologies. She lives in Austin with her family and her tunics. 

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Chapter 1 I'm Wearing Chunky Heels Now 1

Chapter 2 I'm Wearing Maternity Pants Now 13

Chapter 3 I'm Wearing Twinset Sweaters Now 29

An Open Letter to Mr. James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Procter & Gamble 45

Chapter 4 I'm Wearing Conference Swag Now 47

Chapter 5 I'm Wearing Bad Decisions from the Juniors Department Now 61

Things That Make a Woman Look Cool If She's Under 40 And a Bit Nuts If She's Over 40 73

How to Throw Yourself a Middle-Age-Reveal Party 76

Chapter 6 I'm Wearing Fury Now 79

Protest Signs I'd Rather Be Holding 91

Chapter 7 No One Cares What I'm Wearing Now 93

Chapter 8 I'm Wearing Business Casual Now 111

Ferris Bueller's Laid Off 125

We Can't Ask Your Age in This Job Interview, but Please Take This Quiz about Rotary Phones 128

Chapter 9 I'm Wearing Wrinkles Now (or Am I?) 131

How Middle-Aged Women Can Look Stunning in Cell Phone Photos 145

It's a Slippery Slope 147

Chapter 10 I'm Wearing a Bigger Size Now 149

Nine Ways I Wish I Could Boost My Metabolism 162

Chapter 11 I'm Wearing the Name Ma'am Now 165

Chapter 12 I'm Wearing Cooling Cloths Now 175

The Perfect Cocktails for Your Perimenopause Party 186

Chapter 13 I'm Wearing Decades Now 193

Chapter 14 I'm Wearing a Slower Pace Now 201

Chapter 15 I'm Wearing a Party Hat Now 211

Fifty Candles 226

Chapter 16 I'm Wearing Badass Now 229

Chapter 17 I'm Wearing Tunics Now 233

Acknowledgments 237

About the Author 239

Editorial Reviews

Hysterically funny, honest, and unflinching, I’m Wearing Tunics Now is the book Nora Ephron might have written if she’d had long enough to realize she just couldn’t give a f*** about her neck anymore. I loved it. You should read it.” (KJ Dell’Antonia, New York Times best-selling author of The Chicken Sisters and In Her Boots)

"Wendi Aarons might be the best comedic writer working today. I eagerly anticipate her writing, whether it appears in the New Yorker, McSweeney's Internet Tendency or via the US Weekly Fashion Police. What a thrill to read her new book, a gorgeous, brilliant examination of "the tunic years." Laugh-out-loud hilarious and relatable, Aarons gives voice to women's triumphs and bad times...and reminds us of our collective strength. I want to hear what she has to say."  (– Amanda Eyre Ward, author of THE JETSETTERS, a New York Times Bestseller & REESE’S BOOK CLUB x HELLO SUNSHINE pick, and THE LIFEGUARDS)

"Wendi Aarons is Gen-X’s answer to Phyllis Diller. With I'm Wearing Tunics Now she manages to expose the frustrations and indignities of being a (gasp) middle aged woman in America while also making you belly laugh, which is no small feat. Whether she’s navigating the treachery of judgmental playground moms, experiencing a political awakening in conservative Texas, or learning to embrace her wrinkles (sort of), Aarons deftly wields her unique, hysterical voice to create a rallying cry for women of a certain age–which Aarons powerfully argues is the best age." (Dina Gachman, author of BROKENOMICS and the upcoming SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS)

"I chuckled on every page, guffawed on most, and LOL’d with every turn of the tunic. Wendi nailed her goal of writing a very funny book, while pumping up her midlife readers to go forth and take on the world (after doing some light stretching first)!"
  (Nancy Davis Kho, author of The Thank-You Project and creator/host of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast)

"Hilarious, relatable, and like sharing a glass of wine with your funniest friend. This book is a gem." (Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Broken (in the best possible way) and Furiously Happy)

“Wendi Aarons writes the essential guide for laughing your butt off and taking zero BS in midlife (or what I will now think of as the Ma’am years)” (Ann Imig, founder LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER)

“As a card-carrying member of the late bloomer club, I appreciate Wendi’s knack for showing us that there is no set timeline for finding our way. It’s even better that her super funny and unexpectedly moving stories offer us the laughter of self-recognition. This book is a gift.” (Meredith Walker, co-founder of Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls)

“While there’s no place for tunic-wearing in rock n’ roll, Wendi Aarons’s funny book kept me chuckling into the night. Her journey from young career woman into grown-ass-lady-ma’am-dom is relatable and inspiring, no matter what’s hanging in your closet.” (Kathy Valentine, author of the best-selling memoir “All I Ever Wanted” and bassist of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees The Go Go’s)

From the Publisher