If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas

by Via Bleidner
If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas

by Via Bleidner

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Overview

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now is an insider’s collection of funny and warmhearted stories about coming of age in the Los Angeles suburb famed for birthing the Kardashian-Jenners and the Bling Ring

For Via Bleidner, transferring to Calabasas High from the private Catholic school she’s attended since second grade is a culture shock, not to mention absolutely lonely. Suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world of celebrities, affluenza, and McMansions, Via takes a page from Cameron Crowe and pretends she’s on a journalism assignment, taking notes on her classmates and jotting down bits of overheard gossip.

Getting through high school in Calabasas is something else—from Kim Kardashian endorsing the students’ favorite hidden lunch spot, to the theater program hiring a famous dog to play Elle Woods' Chihuahua in its production of Legally Blonde, and Kanye trying to take control of your school to make it the very first YEEZY institution.

But instead of floating through high school detached from her peers, Via finds that putting herself out there—for her writing, of course—just might have been exactly what she needed. She unexpectedly finds an eclectic group of friends to call her own, including a multi-multi-millionaire, a wild-card throwback intent on going viral, a former Disney actor, and a doughnut-dealing madman.

With wit, candor, and sharp observations, twenty-one-year-old Via grounds the surreal glamour of Calabasas with reflections on her own coming-of-age, sharing her teenage misadventures as she struggles to fit in, faces crushing social pressure, and eventually makes her own way.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781250753922
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Publication date: 08/10/2021
Sold by: Macmillan
Format: eBook
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 762,351
File size: 3 MB
Age Range: 12 - 18 Years

About the Author

Via Bleidner is a graduate of the University of California, Santa Barbara, and lives in Los Angeles. If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous By Now is her debut.
Via Bleidner is studying Writing and Literature at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She lives in Isla Vista. When she’s not writing, she’s shotgunning Bang Energy, dodging the debt collector, and badgering her professors for homework extensions. If You Lived Here You’d Be Famous By Now is her debut.

Table of Contents

Abstinence and Adderall
Kim Kardashian Stole My Salad
On Feeling Like a Plastic Bag
Please Don’t Eat the Oranges
Stalling for Cub
Internet Safety
The $18 Million Sandbox
The One Direction Essay
Depth of Field
Instant Gratification
Jizzbag
I Can’t Hang
The Big Fuck You
Valley Girls
Lipvirgin in a New Dress

Epilogue
Acknowledgments

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