If Only I Could Tell You

by Hannah Beckerman

Overview

“I loved it (even though it made me cry).”—Jojo Moyes

For fans of This Is Us comes a story of a family divided and the secret that can possibly unite them – a life-affirming novel with a twist will break your heart and an ending that will put it together again. 

 A secret between two sisters.

A lifetime of lies unraveling.

Can one broken family find their way back to each other?

Audrey’s dream as a mother had been for her daughters, Jess and Lily, to be as close as only sisters can be. But now, as adults, they no longer speak to each other, and Audrey’s two teenage granddaughters have never met. Audrey just can’t help feeling like she’s been dealt more than her fair share as she’s watched her family come undone over the years, and she has no idea how to fix her family as she wonders if they will ever be whole again.

If only Audrey had known three decades ago that a secret could have the power to split her family in two, and yet, also keep them linked. And when hostilities threaten to spiral out of control, a devastating choice that was made so many years ago is about to be revealed, testing this family once and for all.

Once the truth is revealed, will it be enough to put her family back together again or break them apart forever?

“Utterly compelling and completely heartbreaking. I couldn’t put it down.”
   — Ruth Hogan

“Totally engrossing, achingly sad and so perceptive about the corrosive legacy of family secrets.”—Kate Eberlen, author of Miss You

 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062890542
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	10/15/2019
Pages:	368
Sales rank:	516,839
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Hannah Beckerman studied English at King's College (London) for her undergraduate degree, and at Queen Mary  and Westfield (London) for her master's degree. She spent twelve years working in television, first as a producer for the BBC and subsequently as a commissioning editor for arts and documentaries at Channel 4 and the Discovery Channel USA. She lived in Bangladesh for two years, working for the BBC World Service Trust. She is now a full-time author and journalist as well as a book critic and features writer for the Observer, the FT Weekend Magazine and the Sunday Express. She is also a regular chair at literary festivals and events and has been a judge for numerous book prizes including the Costa Book Awards. If Only I Could Tell You is Hannah's second novel. She lives in London with her husband and daughter.

 

Editorial Reviews

08/05/2019

Beckerman (The Dead Wife’s Handbook) does an excellent job of illustrating the corrosive power of secrets in this achingly real tale of two sisters and the mother who hopes to mend their tattered relationship. Lily’s life looks perfect—a high-powered marketing job, a beautiful daughter and loving husband—through the eyes of her long-estranged younger sister, Jess, a single and struggling mother to a teenage daughter, and a senior location manager for a TV show in London. Their mother, Audrey, is dying of cancer and is determined that her daughters will reconcile before she passes away. Jess’s intense anger toward her sister is a mystery to both Lily and Audrey, and Beckerman teases out both intriguing details and red herrings before letting readers in on the secret. The author combines authentically imperfect characters and a well-paced, plausible plot. Jodi Picoult’s fans will find much to love in this often heartbreaking story. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

I loved it (even though it made me cry).” — Jojo Moyes

“Utterly compelling and completely heart-breaking. I couldn’t put it down.” — Ruth Hogan

“Achingly real … The author combines authentically imperfect characters and a well-paced, plausible plot. Jodi Picoult’s fans will find much to love in this often heartbreaking story.” — Publishers Weekly

“A beautiful tale, written with such elegance, heart, and insight into both the fragility and strength of family relationships.” — Ruth Jones

“Delivers an emotional punch. … readers will cheer for Audrey as she works to untangle her family’s long-held secrets.” — Booklist

“Beckerman is masterful in her storytelling. … The narrative is fractured through time and viewpoint into large, weighty chunks and small, sharp shards, and she joins these together seamlessly into a tense tale that is much stronger for its delivery. … A gripping story about love and loss.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Totally engrossing, achingly sad and so perceptive about the corrosive legacy of family secrets.” — Kate Eberlen, author of Miss You

“Compelling and deeply moving. So beautiful it made me cry.” — Marian Keyes

“An emotionally devastating novel. So compelling that I read it, cover to cover, in a single day.” — John Boyne, author of The Heart’s Invisible Furies

“An emotionally engaging, clever, and wonderfully satisfying novel—proper storytelling at its finest. — Kate Mosse, author of The Burning Chambers

From the Publisher

Utterly compelling and completely heart-breaking. I couldn’t put it down.

Ruth Hogan

An emotionally devastating novel. So compelling that I read it, cover to cover, in a single day.

John Boyne

An emotionally engaging, clever, and wonderfully satisfying novel—proper storytelling at its finest.

Kate Mosse

Compelling and deeply moving. So beautiful it made me cry.

Marian Keyes

Totally engrossing, achingly sad and so perceptive about the corrosive legacy of family secrets.

Kate Eberlen

Delivers an emotional punch. … readers will cheer for Audrey as she works to untangle her family’s long-held secrets.

Booklist

A beautiful tale, written with such elegance, heart, and insight into both the fragility and strength of family relationships.

Ruth Jones

I loved it (even though it made me cry).

Jojo Moyes

2019-07-28
A mother and her two daughters' bittersweet journey through three decades is tinged by all-encompassing grief, steadfast love, and deeply held secrets.

Audrey Siskin is a 62-year-old mother and grandmother facing her own mortality who realizes that the life she is leaving behind is not what she wants it to be. Finding herself pregnant and married at 18 had completely altered the life she expected to lead, and while she has never sung on stage, visited New York City, or even been the English professor she'd always dreamed of becoming, she has had a fulfilling life as a wife, school librarian, mother, and grandmother. But now, an aggressive form of cancer has her facing her own approaching death while her daughters, Lily and Jess, continue their 30-year estrangement from one another. Audrey dedicates the last months she has left to doing some of the things that her 16-year-old self aspired to do and trying to figure out a way to reconcile her children. The story unfolds in chapters written from three points of view: those of Audrey, Lily (the wealthy older sister, with a seemingly fabulous husband, house, job, and life, who yearns to reconnect with her younger sister), and Jess (the younger sister, scraping by, consumed with hatred for Lily because of the events of a devastating summer when she was 10 and her sister, 16). Author Beckerman (The Dead Wife's Handbook, 2015) is masterful in her storytelling. The narrative is fractured through time and viewpoint into large, weighty chunks and small, sharp shards, and she joins these together seamlessly into a tense tale that is much stronger for its delivery. While the male characters are, perhaps, one-dimensional, the female characters—even secondary ones such as teenage granddaughters Phoebe and Mia—hold the limelight in turn and are fully wrought.

A gripping story about love and loss.

Kirkus Reviews

Delivers an emotional punch. … readers will cheer for Audrey as she works to untangle her family’s long-held secrets.

Booklist