I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need
Do you really need to know if your daughter has tasted beer or your son has had his first kiss? Probably not.
Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Although parents can't (and shouldn't) know everything, they are right to worry about giving their children too much freedom, since teens can be attracted to dangerous behaviors.
Parenting teenagers means allowing them the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and keep moving forward. Dr. Peter Sheras, an expert in adolescent development, has taught countless parents how to know when to step back, when to ask questions, and when to take definitive action. In I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! he explains how pushing for information or attempting to keep teens confined in too small a box will undoubtedly result in anger, resentment, and worst of all a penchant for trouble.
The book includes solid, practical advice on:
  • How you can learn more about your teenager's life without invading his privacy or losing her trust
  • How to start a conversation when your teen won't talk
  • What to do about lying, whether it's infrequent or often
  • How to discuss family rules and establish consequences that really work
  • How to tell if your teen needs professional help and where to find it

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! will give you the key to keeping your teenager safe while building a trusting, warm, and communicative relationship.
1111848695
I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need
Do you really need to know if your daughter has tasted beer or your son has had his first kiss? Probably not.
Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Although parents can't (and shouldn't) know everything, they are right to worry about giving their children too much freedom, since teens can be attracted to dangerous behaviors.
Parenting teenagers means allowing them the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and keep moving forward. Dr. Peter Sheras, an expert in adolescent development, has taught countless parents how to know when to step back, when to ask questions, and when to take definitive action. In I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! he explains how pushing for information or attempting to keep teens confined in too small a box will undoubtedly result in anger, resentment, and worst of all a penchant for trouble.
The book includes solid, practical advice on:
  • How you can learn more about your teenager's life without invading his privacy or losing her trust
  • How to start a conversation when your teen won't talk
  • What to do about lying, whether it's infrequent or often
  • How to discuss family rules and establish consequences that really work
  • How to tell if your teen needs professional help and where to find it

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! will give you the key to keeping your teenager safe while building a trusting, warm, and communicative relationship.
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I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need

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$12.99 

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Overview

Do you really need to know if your daughter has tasted beer or your son has had his first kiss? Probably not.
Teens keep secrets. They need this privacy to resolve their own dilemmas, make their own decisions, and start down the road to becoming independent, responsible adults. Although parents can't (and shouldn't) know everything, they are right to worry about giving their children too much freedom, since teens can be attracted to dangerous behaviors.
Parenting teenagers means allowing them the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and keep moving forward. Dr. Peter Sheras, an expert in adolescent development, has taught countless parents how to know when to step back, when to ask questions, and when to take definitive action. In I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! he explains how pushing for information or attempting to keep teens confined in too small a box will undoubtedly result in anger, resentment, and worst of all a penchant for trouble.
The book includes solid, practical advice on:
  • How you can learn more about your teenager's life without invading his privacy or losing her trust
  • How to start a conversation when your teen won't talk
  • What to do about lying, whether it's infrequent or often
  • How to discuss family rules and establish consequences that really work
  • How to tell if your teen needs professional help and where to find it

I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff! will give you the key to keeping your teenager safe while building a trusting, warm, and communicative relationship.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781416588603
Publisher: Touchstone
Publication date: 11/01/2007
Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format: eBook
Pages: 256
File size: 450 KB

About the Author

Peter Sheras, Ph.D., ABPP, is a clinical psychologist and professor in the Curry Programs in Clinical and School Psychology at the University of Virginia. He is associate director of the Virginia Youth Violence Project at the university and director of the local School Crisis Network. As an expert in school intervention and youth violence, he develops and evaluates intervention programs for schools, parents, and communities. He has been in private practice for twenty-five years.

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Preface

In my writing and lecturing, I approach the teaching tasks with the attitude of a scientist telling good stories: Here's what happened, and here, according to our current understanding, is why it happened. This book includes many stories of adolescents and their parents. In each case, for the sake of privacy, names and other specific details do not correspond to those of real individuals I have counseled. Their stories, however, are grounded in my clinical experience and research. Over my three decades of working with children and families, the common themes that make adolescence a trying time for parent and child alike have emerged. Those themes determined the shape of this book.

Psychologists often don't want to state an interpretation of behavior or a recommendation for action until we're absolutely sure we have the thing right. The truth is, we know enough to be helpful. My job is to translate what we think we know about children into information that's genuinely useful to a parent, and that's what I hope you will find in I Can't Believe You Went Through My Stuff!

Copyright © 2004 by Peter Sheras, Ph.D., and Skylight Press

Table of Contents


Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter 1: Secrets and Privacy

How Your Teenager Starts Answering the Question "Who Am I?"

Chapter 2: The Shift to Stage 2 Parenting

Knowing Yourself and the Limits of Your Power

Chapter 3: Beginning the Conversation

How to Talk Teen

Chapter 4: Your Teenager's Life, Right Now

What You Do and (Probably) Don't Need to Know

Chapter 5: Lines in the Sand

Rules, Boundaries, and When and How to Confront Your Teen

Chapter 6: Real Trouble

Dangerous Secrets and What to Do About Them

Chapter 7: In the Wake of a Storm

Trusting Your Child Again, Repairing Your Relationship

Chapter 8: Other Kids' Secrets

When Your Teen Becomes Involved in a Friend's Private Problems

Chapter 9: Parenting Partnerships

Working Together with Your Spouse and the Other Adults in Your Teenager's World

Afterword: You and Your Teenager

What a Perfect Relationship Looks Like Isn't That Everything Goes Perfectly

Index
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