How We Grow Through What We Go Through: Self-Compassion Practices for Post-Traumatic Growth

by Christopher Willard PsyD

Overview

Turn your everyday experiences into a source of strength with the easy-to-learn practices in this uplifting guide to post-traumatic growth.

Trauma pervades every aspect of our lives, particularly in recent years between climate change, social justice issues, the coronavirus pandemic, and more. But the truth is that post-traumatic growth, rather than post-traumatic stress, is not only possible but probable. In this book, you’ll discover the conditions and compassionate practices that make growth and resilience possible, including:

• How to regulate your nervous system by regulating your breath and body
• Trauma-informed self-compassion practices that make you more resilient to the world around you
• Skills to set boundaries to aid in your healing
• Dozens of other ways to turn your difficult experiences toward growth

Simple and to the point, each chapter offers practices, self-assessments, enlightening science facts, and advice for the real world—perfect for reading a page or two after an exhausting day or sharing with others when they need a lift.

No one gets a pass from life’s challenges. The good news is, we are hardwired to turn them into a source of strength. Turn to this book anytime you need to find out How We Grow Through What We Go Through.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781683648901
Publisher:	Sounds True, Incorporated
Publication date:	11/29/2022
Pages:	176
Sales rank:	400,311
Product dimensions:	4.90(w) x 6.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Christopher Willard, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of more than 18 publications for children and adults. An internationally sought-after speaker and mindfulness educator, his books include Growing Up Mindful, Raising Resilience, The Breathing Book, Alphabreaths, and Alphabreaths Too.

Table of Contents

Preface vii

Chapter 1 Wired for Resilience 1

The Four Fs Reflection 11

Attend and Befriend 12

Chapter 2 Your Resilient Body 19

The Remote Control: Four Ways to Regulate Your Breath 28

Ocean-Wave Breathing 31

Power Postures 38

Supportive Touch 40

Seven Walking Practices 43

Basic Walking Meditation 43

Walking with Words 44

Sensory Forest Walking 45

Embodied Awareness Walking 49

Appreciative Walking 50

Walking "As If" 50

Walking for Self-Discovery 52

The CALM Reminder 67

Chapter 3 Your Resilient Mind 73

Fire-Alarm Reset Protocols 76

The Four Rs of Mindfulness 78

Sound Grounding 85

Taking a Mindful SEAT 88

Don't Believe Everything You Think 91

Taking In the Good 94

Gratitude for Your Strengths 100

HALT 103

Chapter 4 Your Resilient Heart 107

Four Roses, a Thorn, and a Bud 111

The Self-Compassion ACE Up Your Sleeve 120

Reclaiming Time 128

THINK Before You Speak 133

Get the Urge to Merge 144

Final Thoughts 147

Citations by Chapter 151

Acknowledgments 157

About the Author 159

Editorial Reviews

09/26/2022

Clinical psychologist Willard (The In-Between Book) lays out strategies for recovering after trauma in this compassionate manual. “We can allow traumas to push us toward more sickness, sadness, fear, and division—or we can use them to water the seeds of our growth and development,” he contends. He notes that the memory of trauma can prime the body to respond to threats in four ways—fight, flee, freeze, or give up—and suggests that readers calm their nervous system by adopting the mindfulness pose of sitting upright and holding their hands over their heart. Explaining how to develop healthy habits, he extols the benefits of taking walks on regulating emotion and recommends refraining from multitasking when eating to foster a more deliberate relationship with food. Trauma survivors’ inner critics tend to be their worst enemies, the author posits, and he urges readers to exercise self-compassion by setting boundaries in difficult relationships, cultivating resilient friendships, and acknowledging how hard it was to live through trauma. Willard has a knack for describing psychological jargon in lay terms, and the uncomplicated guidance is easy to implement (one mindfulness exercise calls for listening to one’s breaths as if they were ocean waves). This approachable manual has some insightful tips. (Nov.)

Publishers Weekly

feels like a personal therapy session, with its conversational tone and examples about relatable experiences from Willard’s previous clients.” —Library Journal

“This is a straightforward, unpretentious guidebook for anyone looking to understand their trauma and how science-backed mindfulness practices can help us open our hearts to both ourselves and others in order to heal.” —Mindful

“…a user friendly, practical guide..” that is “well-researched and packed with simple exercises and thought-provoking questions…” —New York Journal of Books

“Chris Willard’s latest book offers a straightforward yet science-based guide to recovery and healing, from the individual to the collective.” —Emma Seppälä, PhD, Yale psychologist and author of The Happiness Track

“Dr. Willard has written an accessible book that gives beautiful context to the complexities of what happens inside of our bodies and in our relationships with one another when we undergo the experience of rupture and trauma, both individually and collectively. He lays out a compassionate road map for how we might find growth and the reemergence of possibility through it all. During a time when people are desperately looking for a way to understand their own relationship to mental, emotional, and physical pain and how it is impacted by our intersectional identities so as to be empowered to heal themselves and the planet, this book will prove to be a very helpful guide and resource to help us restore our capacity to treat ourselves and one another with loving-awareness.” —Sará King, PhD, neuroscientist, medical anthropologist, education philosopher, and founder of MindHeart Consulting

“A beacon in this era of our collective trauma that lights a way back into our bodies to reclaim our growth.” —Patrick Teahan, LICSW

“Dr. Willard’s Attend and Befriend approach to recovering from stress and trauma unfailingly normalizes the reader’s distress and skillfully encourages the recovery of innate capacities to experience enough safety inside one’s self to feel safe again in the world. What sets this book apart is the unpretentious way Dr. Willard walks with the reader step-by-step through the science and a workable sequence of practices that empower the reader to both heal through post-traumatic stress and heal into post-traumatic growth.
“I especially appreciate the author’s sensitivity to the realities of marginalized groups and the empathic sharing of so many stories of real people who show us that we, too, can learn to act our way into new feelings, new thoughts, new possibilities for our lives.” —Linda Graham, MFT, author of Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster

“With love and rigor, Chris Willard has offered us an invaluable road map to working skillfully with trauma. The writing is thoughtful, the practices are accessible, and the message is exactly what we need: that we can survive (and even thrive) when faced with traumatic stress. Highly recommended!” —David Treleaven, PhD, author of Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing

“As we emerge from this global pandemic — into still more instability and trauma, we are beginning to understand the impact it has had on all of our bodies, hearts and minds. Collective healing is possible when we remember how deeply our lives are intertwined and that we belong to each other.” —Leslie Booker, co-author of Best Practices for Yoga in a Criminal Justice Setting

“Dr. Chris Willard provides a profound and restorative guide to the nonlinear journey that is healing from trauma. He offers nuanced language for understanding the impact of trauma on the nervous system and what it means to befriend, reset, and reregulate while honoring the many intersections and layers of our lived experience. Dr. Willard wrote this book in a way that is accessible, affirming, academic, and empowering while also making you feel like you are sitting with a friend over coffee and reflecting on your resilience. A one-of-a-kind resource that honors and centers the humanity of all those who have experienced trauma. A must-read for mental health and healing professionals inspired to integrate an understanding of neuroscience, mindfulness, self-compassion, and embodiment into their work with clients.” —Zahabiyah Yamasaki, MEd, RYT, author of Trauma-Informed Yoga for Survivors of Sexual Assault and forthcoming children’s book Your Joy is Beautiful

“The traumas and tragedies of life vary enormously. Some are intense but short-lived; others are ongoing and complex. While there are no magic solutions, this book offers many easy-to-understand insights into ways we can help ourselves to find the courage and wisdom to work with them. Dr. Willard outlines how trauma can affect us both psychologically and in our bodies, how to befriend ourselves rather than be harsh on ourself, to consider how one would help a friend in our situation and use that wisdom on ourselves, and, where possible, try to be the help of others rather than hide away. This book offers many ideas to help oneself in the dark times.” —Paul Gilbert, PhD, FBPsS, OBE

From the Publisher

10/28/2022

Clinical psychologist Willard (Harvard Medical Sch; Growing Up Mindful) shows that while trauma often continues through lived experiences, one can still grow from and get through it, in what is called "post-traumatic growth," or PTG. The author details how the body and mind are connected and that using breathing and body exercises, mindfulness, and reshaped thoughts can change one's responses to situations. Although many of the topics in this book have been covered before in other self-help books, there are some good sections on mindless versus mindful eating, and an interesting grounding exercise that uses sounds. The book's message and exercises for self-compassion are provocative and valuable strategies for those who either have or are currently experiencing trauma and want to learn how to handle the aftermath. Featuring a table of contents and a citation by chapter section, the book's format is easy-to-read. It feels like a personal therapy session, with its conversational tone and examples about relatable experiences from Willard's previous clients. VERDICT This book is recommended for those interested in self-help, trauma responses, personal growth, and psychology.—Bridgette Whitt

Library Journal