How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

by Zachary Auburn

Overview

The cats of America are under siege! 
 
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.

For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780451494924
Publisher:	Crown Publishing Group
Publication date:	10/04/2016
Pages:	144
Sales rank:	54,873
Product dimensions:	5.46(w) x 8.22(h) x 0.34(d)

About the Author

Zachary Auburn is a writer and artist whose 'zines include an analysis of every outfit worn by the Golden Girls in the first season, a Choose Your Own Adventure about a tortured relationship (which Slate called a "small masterpiece"), and a field guide to the aliens on Star Trek. He has been profiled in the Portland Mercury, Catster magazine, and Utne Reader.

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Excerpted from "How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety"
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Copyright © 2016 Zachary Auburn.
Excerpted by permission of Crown/Archetype.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Gun Safety 3

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Evolution 21

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Abstinence 37

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Online Safety 55

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Drugs 71

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Puberty 85

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Postapocalyptic Survival 101

How to Talk to Your Cat About: Satanism 117

Further Reading 131

Photo Credits 132