How To Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons to Help Your Child Become Self-Driven, Respectful, and Resilient

by Esther Wojcicki

Overview

The Godmother of Silicon Valley, legendary teacher, and mother of a Super Family shares her tried-and-tested methods for raising happy, healthy, successful children using Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness: TRICK.

Esther Wojcicki—“Woj” to her many friends and admirers—is famous for three things: teaching a high school class that has changed the lives of thousands of kids, inspiring Silicon Valley legends like Steve Jobs, and raising three daughters who have each become famously successful. What do these three accomplishments have in common? They’re the result of TRICK, Woj’s secret to raising successful people: Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness.

Simple lessons, but the results are radical. Wojcicki’s methods are the opposite of helicopter parenting. As we face an epidemic of parental anxiety, Woj is here to say: relax. Talk to infants as if they are adults. Allow teenagers to pick projects that relate to the real world and their own passions, and let them figure out how to complete them. Above all, let your child lead. How to Raise Successful People offers essential lessons for raising, educating, and managing people to their highest potential. Change your parenting, change the world.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780358298717
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	08/18/2020
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	336
Sales rank:	97,810
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.50(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

ESTHER WOJCICKI is a leading American educator, journalist and mother. A leader in blended learning and the integration of technology into education, she is the founder of the Media Arts programs at Palo Alto High School. Wojcicki serves as vice chair of Creative Commons and was instrumental in the launch of the Google Teachers Academy. She blogs regularly for Huffington Post and is coauthor of Moonshots in Education. 

Read an Excerpt

THERE ARE NO NOBEL Prizes for parenting or education, but there should be. They are the two most important things we do in our society. How we raise and educate our children determines not only the people they become but the society we create.
Every parent has hopes and dreams for their children. They want them to be healthy, happy, successful. They also have universal fears: Will their child be safe? Will she find purpose and fulfillment? Will he make his way in a world that feels increasingly driven, competitive, and even at times hostile? I remember how all of those unspoken and largely unconscious worries crowded into the small birthing room as I held my first daughter.
I lay in the hospital bed cradling Susan on my chest. The nurse had wrapped her in a pink blanket and put a tiny yellow knit hat on her head. Stan, my husband, sat by my side. We were both exhausted but elated, and in that moment, everything was clear: I loved my daughter from the second I saw her, and I felt a primal desire to protect her, to give her the best life possible, to do whatever it took to help her succeed.
But soon the questions and doubts started to creep in. I couldn’t figure out how to hold Susan, and I didn’t know how to change a diaper. I’d stopped teaching only three weeks earlier, which didn’t give me much time to prepare. And I never really understood exactly how I was supposed to prepare in the first place. The ob-gyn told me to take it easy for at least six weeks after the birth. My friends and colleagues gave me all kinds of conflicting advice. They told me labor was going to be long and hard, that nursing was too difficult and restrictive, that bottles and Similac were better. I read a few books on nutrition for adults (there weren’t any titles specific to children at that time), and I bought a crib, some clothing, and a small plastic bathtub. And then suddenly Susan was there in my arms, with her big blue eyes and peach-fuzz hair, staring up at me as if I knew exactly what to do.
I was just on the verge of being discharged when I really started to worry. This was 1968. Back then you got three days in American hospitals after your baby was born. Now most hospitals discharge you after two days. I don’t know how mothers today do it.
“Can I stay for another day?” I pleaded with the nurse, half embarrassed, half desperate. “I have no idea how to take care of my baby.”
The next morning the nurse gave me a crash course in infant care, including, thankfully, how to change a diaper. This was the era of cloth diapers and safety pins. I was warned by the nurse to make sure that the pins were closed properly or they could stick the baby. Whenever Susan cried, the first thing I did was check the pins.
Even though it wasn’t popular at the time, I was determined to breastfeed, so the nurse showed me how to position the baby’s head and use my forearm for support. The baby had to “latch on” and only then could I be sure that she was getting milk. It was not as simple as I had hoped, and sometimes poor Susan got sprayed. The plan was that she should keep to a four-hour schedule and I agreed to follow that as best I could.
“Make sure you hug your baby” was the last piece of advice the nurse gave me. Then Stan and I were on our own.
Like all parents, I saw my daughter as hope—hope for a better life, hope for the future, hope that she might change the world for the better. We all want children who are happy, empowered, and passionate. We all want to raise kids who lead successful and meaningful lives. That’s what I felt the moment Susan was born, and later on when we welcomed our other two daughters, Janet and Anne. It’s this same wish that unites people from all different countries and cultures. Thanks to my long and somewhat unusual teaching career, I now attend conferences around the world. Whether I’m meeting with the secretary of education in Argentina, thought leaders from China, or concerned parents from India, what everyone wants to know is how to help our children live good lives—to be both happy and successful, to use their talents to make the world a better place.
No one seems to have a definitive answer. Parenting experts focus on important aspects of childrearing like sleeping, eating, bonding, or discipline, but the advice they offer is mostly narrow and prescriptive.
 
 

Table of Contents

Foreword xi

Introduction xix

1 The Childhood You Wish You'd Had 1

Trust

2 Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child 25

Respect

3 Your Child Is Not Your Clone 61

Independence

4 Don't Do Anything for Your Children That They Can Do for Themselves 91

5 Give Your Child Grit 126

Collaboration

6 Don't Dictate, Collaborate 155

7 Children Hear What You Do, Not What You Say 186

Kindness

8 Kindness: Model It. It's Contagious 215

9 Teach Your Child to Give a Damn 242

Conclusion 267

Acknowledgments 274

Notes 280

Index 284

Editorial Reviews

In a time of increased anxiety and helicopter parenting, Wojcicki’s advice on helping your child lead seems to speak for itself. A must-read for parents of children of all ages.”—Library Journal, starred review

“Wojcicki believes that if there’s a secret to raising self-motivated, empowered kids, it’s embodied in the following values: trust, respect, independence, collaboration, and kindness. Striking a conversational but thoughtful tone, she urges parents to reflect on their own childhoods in order to realize that ‘sometimes a child has a different dream, a different path to follow’ than their parents.”—Publishers Weekly 

“Written with honesty, heart, and a great deal of experience, How toRaise Successful People is a must-read for all parents.”— Melissa Norstedt, starred review, Booklist

“[Wojcicki] compiles her knowledge into an accessible guidebook for parents, teachers, and others involved in nurturing a child’s or adolescent’s development . . . [with] simple, down-to-earth techniques to help shape children into responsible, independent, kind individuals with the capabilities to become successful at whatever endeavor they may try.”— Kirkus Reviews

“Parenting in our digital age is a brave new frontier, fraught for both parents and children. But as Esther Wojcicki—beloved teacher, parent, and writer whose work I’ve long admired—shows, modern parenting can be a joy instead of a constant struggle. Esther Wojcicki is leading a revolution not only in how we prepare our children to succeed, but how we nurture the health and well-being of parents across the world. How to Raise Successful People shows us how to be our best so our children can be their best.”
—Arianna Huffington, founder of Thrive Global and Huffington Post, best-selling author of On Becoming Fearless and The Sleep Revolution
 
“Every industry is clamoring for more innovators, more creative leaders who can solve problems with intelligence and a strong sense of social responsibility. Esther Wojcicki knows exactly how to instill these values in our children. We need her insights now more than ever.”
—Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce, best-selling author of Behind the Cloud
 
“As a teacher, Esther Wojcicki was brave enough to challenge conventional teaching, understanding that students need to be active participants in their own learning. As a parent, she innately understood how to foster responsibility, self-reliance, and fearless creativity in her daughters. Esther’s mix of practical wisdom and inspiration will be a prized resource for anyone raising the next generation to live with purpose and unlimited potential.”
—Laurene Powell Jobs, founder of Emerson Collective, wife of Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple
 
“There is nothing more important than raising and educating our kids and doing it well. Esther Wojcicki is a revolutionary educator and mother who understands what it takes to succeed as an entrepreneur, a leader in technology, or any kind of professional in the new economy. Her many students and three talented daughters are living proof that her method works. This book will change the conversation about how to parent in the digital age.”
—Peter Diamandis, New York Times best-selling coauthor of Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think and BOLD: How to Go Big, Create Wealth, and Impact the World
 
“How do we help our children—and our students—thrive in today’s complex world? Esther Wojcicki addresses this question in one of the best parenting and teaching books I have ever read. You will savor her many luminous stories and sage advice long after finishing the book. Every parent and teacher should read this wonderful book.”
—Tony Wagner, best-selling author of Most Likely to Succeed and Creating Innovators
 

From the Publisher