Read an Excerpt
Chapter OneIf I Can Do It, So Can You
I've always wondered why women keep good secrets to themselves. I've discovered a great one--the secret of being multiorgasmic--and, personally, I want to share the mystery. I'm not writing this to impress you or make you jealous; I believe I have a mission to teach others how to heighten sexual pleasure. I also want to dispel myths and misconceptions about sexuality and help women reach their potential for female fireworks.
Since I just happen to be one of those women who climax easily, curious friends would ask me how I did it. At first, it was hard to explain. Through the years, though, I've found ways to reveal this knowledge. If I can help a handful of women brave the incredible sensation of multiple orgasms, then this book will have been worth the effort.
At the risk of sounding like a braggart, I want to tell you something: I've had more orgasms in seven days than most men do in seven months! I've never actually counted them one by one because that would take away from the experience. Why ruin a good thing, right?
My partner claims he can't figure it either--says he's too moved by the occasion. Without telling me, though, he counted them one time during a romantic minivacation and exclaimed, "Don't ever quote me . . . but now that I've experienced you, I think men got cheated!"
Must a Woman Be Multiorgasmic
to Feel Fulfilled?Not necessarily. It depends on the woman One intense orgasm is perfectly satisfying for many women. In fact, this book stresses quality over quantity; but if a woman wants more, I'm here to let her know it'spossible . . . and very real. Men need this information, too. After reading my book to his wife, one thoughtful midwesterner said, "Honey, I'm sorry . . . I've been cheating you all these years . . . I didn't know it could be like that for a woman. Tonight's going to be the best ever!" By the way, his wife thanked me profusely the next day.
While' it's possible to have two, three, five, or more penetration orgasms in a single lovemaking session, discussing, exact numbers misses the whole point. Goal setting is a marvelous idea for other activities in your life; it's just not appropriate in the bedroom. Put aside any goal you might have. Thinking you must have one, two, three, or more is the surest way to mechanical sex. How does one go about counting them anyway? As a close friend of mine told me, "I feel like the whole experience is one long orgasm." Approach sex with a fresh mind and a compassionate heart, not with numbers or time limits.
Most assuredly, it's not healthy to put up anyone's sex life as a touchstone from which to measure another. As sure as I live and breathe, someone would say my sexual experiences (or yours) lack variety, frequency, intensity, or creativity. There's one in every crowd eager to rain on someone else's parade. Ignore it.
Besides, swinging from a basket during sex may have been their idea of a good time, but it certainly is not mine. What's important is what goes on between two caring individuals, how compatible and ardent they are, how meaningful the relationship is, and so forth. I think men and women should willingly share ideas about sexuality without feeling threatened or judged.
If what works for me helps someone else enjoy sex a little bit more, great. If you believe is important to your well-being, why not try to enhance it? Why not feed the libido and foster what you expect to do on a regular basis? Why not grow together as a couple in this area and discover lifelong pleasure? If reading this improves even one thing in the bedroom, so much the better.
My Philosophy on Good SexDid you know that you can actually cultivate a capacity to have orgasms? It takes practice and patience. Experts aren't sure what leads women to develop this aptitude, but I have my own philosophy. The essence of this book revolves around my beliefs that a woman must:
1)take chief responsibility for her own orgasm
2)internalize the belief that spirited sex is 90 percent mental
3)be in tune with her physical self
1) My philosophy about sex parallels my philosophy about life. Just as I believe each person is responsible for his or her own actions, I believe everyone is responsible for achieving his or her own orgasm. I call it sex-equity lovemaking. What I mean is that you need to rely primarily on yourself, not on your partner, to get what you want out of sex. First of all, you have to select a compatible mate. Lovers should also learn how to communicate their needs, verbally and otherwise, and know how their bodies respond to various stimulation. Women shouldn't expect their partners to read their minds or do everything -- from foreplay to afterglow -- perfectly.
Besides, don't your needs and desires change from night to night, week, to week, year to year, or minute to minute? That's why it's your responsibility to express your needs on an ongoing basis. Obviously a loving, respectful mate helps. Yet I suspect your level of physical and psychological sophistication is more important, including how well you know your own body, how well you convey your moods and desires, how much you care for your partner, and how secure you feel as a sexual being.
How To Have Multiple Orgasms. Copyright © by Janalee Beck. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
