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Higher and Higher
From Drugs and Destruction to Health and Happiness
By Jost Sauer Allen & Unwin
Copyright © 2006 Jost Sauer
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-74176-042-2
CHAPTER 1
Sex and drugs and freeflow
FOLK FESTIVAL, SUMMER 1977
The summer morning air was scented with sandalwood, marijuana and hashish. I walked barefoot through the tents and groups of colourfully dressed hippies, until I reached the clearing in the trees that formed a natural amphitheatre. My friends, Dietrich and Karl, were sitting on the grass near the stage and I wandered over to join them. A folk band was playing, setting the mood for another day of music, dancing and euphoria. Dietrich offered me a half-smoked joint. He had such a big smile on his face that it was obviously not his first smoke for the day. Karl's face was painted in psychedelic colours and he too was grinning widely. I sat with them and we shared the rest of the joint. The amphitheatre was slowly filling up. Joan Baez was on stage next and a sense of anticipation was building.
I felt an arm around my shoulder and turned to see Stefan, my best friend. His brown eyes were dancing with excitement and he was holding up a small, engraved silver box. He opened the lid ceremoniously to reveal four tiny red stars nestled in cotton wool; our first LSD experience was about to begin. Karl, Dietrich and I sat in a semi-circle around Stefan and watched intently as his long beringged fingers delicately lifted out the little stars. He handed us one each.
I placed mine carefully under my tongue. Almost instantly I felt a strange metallic sensation in my mouth which gradually spread throughout my body. I sat back, rolled a cigarette and enjoyed the nurturing atmosphere of the crowd and the music. Then I noticed a feeling of warmth in my stomach. It slowly intensified until it filled my consciousness. I had an irresistible urge to move and I began to sway. My hands became hypersensitive; just holding my cigarette was an amazing tactile experience. My head and neck felt like they were floating above my body.
I looked at Karl. The painted colours were now swirling around his face and through his long blond hair. His eyes met mine and we both burst into fits of laughter. Spontaneously we jumped up and hugged each other. The others rose to share in the euphoria and the rhythm of the music began to really move us. But the source didn't seem to be the stage anymore; it was coming from the ground, like a root. I could feel it creeping up my legs and spreading through my entire body, creating waves of ecstasy.
I stopped thinking and simply became the experience. I began to walk around. With every step I discovered new sensations. The grass under my feet was sharp but soft, cool but warm, and I could feel the breeze drifting through my hair, caressing my scalp. I lifted my arms; there was no resistance. It was as if they floated up. I was weightless — body, mind and spirit were united. I looked at the people around me and smiled at everyone. I started to dance and my heart sang out in sheer joy.
A group of trees at the edge of the clearing were slowly morphing into huge majestic animals. One tree in particular seemed to make contact with me. Transfixed by its powerful presence, I walked over to it. I had a strong urge to show respect and I bowed humbly and gently touched its surface. I looked back towards the stage; it was now surrounded by a bright, soft, purple light and the massive banks of speakers were a pulsating, luminous green. The sky was iridescent blue. Distance didn't seem to exist anymore. I could hear the conversations of people who were completely out of my sight but I knew that I could reach them instantly if I wanted to. Everyone was a part of me just as I was a part of them.
Then Joan Baez walked out onto the stage. She picked up her guitar and began to sing. The purity of her voice tore through the tissue of my heart and reverberated through every cell in my body. Time stopped still. I stood there completely immersed in a state of pure joy. Tears ran down my face as I realised just how beautiful the world could be.
That first acid trip was a beautiful spiritual experience. It satisfied the deepest desires of my soul. I thought I had reached the ultimate goal of human existence. I felt utterly complete. I was nineteen but I had never felt so alive, so real. It was as if a filter had been removed and all my senses could now function at optimum level. I could taste colour, see sound, hear people's thoughts. I was everything I could ever be, all at once and I wanted more of that. I spent the next decade chasing that state through drugs but I never again recaptured that perfect intoxicating mix of exhilaration, liberation and euphoria; the thrill of the realisation that the world was going to change and the anticipation of a life of limitless opportunity and wonder stretching ahead of me.
Instead, that magical, colourful hippie world collapsed and my dreams vanished with it. The drugs that I used to try to generate that state took me to the depths of despair and the brink of death. I lost my passion to change the world and was left with depression, emptiness and a sense of loss. It took me years of experiential and theoretical research into health, fitness and self-improvement to regain some excitement about life and to discover that what I had been searching for had been within me all the time.
By the time that I had recovered from my drug-induced destruction and become a therapist and lecturer in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the New Age movement had also emerged from the ashes of the hippie movement and our dream of creating a better world and acknowledging our spiritual nature had entered mainstream society. Twenty years after that first acid trip, I found myself back at colourful festivals but now I was showing people how to get high — how to recapture the euphoria, bliss and bonding that the drugs had shown so many of us — without the drugs.
BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT FESTIVAL
I ran up the stairs of the Convention Centre, squeezed past the queues of people in their bright summer clothes, and flashed my exhibitor's pass at the entry. Coloured lights, ambient music and exotic fragrances overwhelmed my senses as I stepped inside. The Body, Mind and Spirit festival was set up like a huge supermarket with aisle after aisle of display stands laden with products and information about how to be happy and healthy. It was early, but the place was teeming with people and it was hard going navigating through the narrow aisles.
Movement on the mezzanine level caught my eye and I glanced up. What looked like hundreds of people were filing out of the lecture theatre and coming down the stairs into the main hall. The first talk must have just finished. I would be up there next. Butterflies fluttered lightly in my stomach. I had been lecturing about energy freeflow in an academic environment for nearly a decade, but today would be the first time that I explained it to the general public.
I glanced at my watch. I still had about fifteen minutes before I was due to speak, so after checking in with the team of massage therapists working on my clinic's stand, I went off in search of a place to do some meditative exercises and centre myself. Eventually I found an empty area sectioned off from the surrounding stalls by large partitions. I ducked behind them. It was still noisy but at least I was out of sight of the crowd. I stood still and tried to regulate my breathing and sink into a deeper part of my mind.
This was just starting to take effect when a group of belly-dancers trooped in, chattering and laughing. I had obviously found a warm-up area for one of the performance stages. The dancers didn't seem concerned by my presence and started rehearsing their routine behind me. I tried not to let them distract me, closed my eyes and continued to focus my mind — breath by breath. I could feel my breath start to connect with my inner energy, or Chi, and the sounds around me began to fade. I used each inhalation to move Chi around in my body until it was circulating freely. I continued doing this for about ten minutes before opening my eyes.
Slowly my senses registered the material world again. The colourful sequinned costumes of the dancers flashed past me. I could smell incense and hear Indian sitar music in the background. I felt focused and grounded. I took a breath, nodded to the dancers, and headed off in the direction of the lecture hall. Calm and confident, I glided effortlessly through the crowds until my name and lecture topic came blasting through the public address system, shaking my equilibrium. But the meditation had done its job and, after a brief moment of stress, I managed to recapture my sense of centre.
As I reached the stairs to the mezzanine level, I realised that most of the people around me were heading in the same direction. I was surprised at the number; I had not thought that 'Sex and drugs and freeflow' would be such a crowd pleaser. Inside the lecture theatre most of the chairs were already filled. I walked over to the speaker's stand, turned the microphone on and set my papers out in front of me. I quickly flipped through my notes as the last few people trickled through the door. There was a quiet murmur in the audience. Fifteen seconds to go. I took a deep breath, made a conscious connection with my Chi again to ground myself, then the minute hand hit the hour and I started to speak. The background noise stopped instantly and three hundred eyes focused on me, watching my every move and analysing every word. I felt that they were seeking weakness. It was always a testing moment but my Chi was strong enough and I felt in control. I launched into the lecture.
SEX AND DRUGS AND FREEFLOW
'My topic today is "'Sex and drugs and freeflow". I'll start with drugs. Illicit drugs are a multi-billion dollar, global business, probably one of the biggest industries in the world. Basically this is because they take away pain, they make you feel good, they make you happy. So I guess you could say that it is really the search for happiness that is one of the biggest industries in the world.
'Put up your hand if you want to feel happy.' Everyone in the room put their hands up and there were a few laughs.
'We all want to feel good, and we all want to be happy. But drugs can only deliver this in the short term so eventually we have to find other more sustainable ways of achieving this result. This is an area I have been investigating and, based on my background of personal drug use and my subsequent research into Traditional Chinese Medicine, Energy medicine, Body — Mind therapy and spirituality, I believe that drugs create feelings of bliss because they allow energy, or Chi, to move freely in the body. This is a state which I call 'freeflow' and it is this that we need to experience pure happiness. The moment of orgasm or the rush you get from snorting cocaine are both good examples of freeflow.'
The freeflow state
'The concept of freeflow is based on the idea that the body has an invisible energetic structure, generally referred to in Energy medicine as the Human Energy Field. Although this might sound New Age, this same idea forms the basis of Traditional Chinese Medicine, which has been around for five thousand years. Generally speaking, both streams of practice would suggest that you feel good when Chi, or inner energy, flows freely in the body, and bad when Chi is stagnant or not flowing freely. The objective of my work as a therapist — in which I draw upon many therapeutic disciplines — is to clear the blockages or obstructions so that Chi can flow freely and you can feel good again.'
I turned to the whiteboard behind me and used a black marker to draw an outline of a body. It looked like one of those chalk bodies drawn at the sites of accidents but it would have to do. I then used a red marker to draw lines throughout the body with dots at intervals along the lines. Now it looked like a human subway map.
'In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Chi flows within the body via pathways which are known in the West as the acupuncture meridians. These meridians have intersections and openings which are the acupuncture points. If you are in perfect health, the Chi flows along the meridians and at the acupuncture points it divides. It then flows outwards to nurture skin, tendons and muscles, which allows the body to move effortlessly. It also flows inwards to the organs establishing perfect organ function.' I chose a green marker and roughly drew the lungs, heart, liver, spleen and kidneys in the torso. It was not anatomically correct but the aim was to connect the organs to the red "subway map" of the meridians.
'As well as having a physiological function, each of your organs also has a spiritual and emotional function. So, in the state of freeflow, where the organs have abundant Chi and function perfectly, you feel great physically, spiritually and emotionally.' All eyes were fixed on the whiteboard trying to grasp this information. Given the venue, most of my audience would have heard of acupuncture points and maybe even the Human Energy Field, but the idea that the condition of your organs might directly affect or even create your emotional state would probably be new to them. I paused for a moment before turning back to the board and pointing at each of the organs in turn.
'My work fuses Traditional Chinese Medicine, Energy medicine and Body — Mind therapy, and it's this fusion, rather than a pure application of any one of these approaches, which applies to most of what I say from now on. In the state of freeflow the Lungs let you embrace change, let go of the past and look forward to the future. The Heart generates feelings of love, inspiration and joy. The Liver makes you feel that your life is progressing as it should be and this makes you happy. The Spleen makes you feel energetic and provides a balanced sense of self. In addition your thoughts will flow smoothly and you will be able to grasp complex concepts and ideas easily. The Kidneys make you feel young and full of zest. You will have plenty of will-power and feel "supported" in everything you do.
'This is freeflow, a blissfully happy state in which you love yourself, the world and everyone in it. You feel no pain, hold no grudges and only look forward. Life is full of promise. You sleep peacefully through the night and wake up full of energy and anticipation, eager to jump out of bed and get into another exciting and joyful day. Nothing and nobody affects your peace of mind.' I let my arm drop.
'Who feels like this all the time?' I paused and scanned the room, but no one raised a hand. They were reacting as I had hoped. I rephrased the question. 'Who would like to feel like this all the time?' Laughter erupted, some hands slowly rose, and eventually all hands were up, including mine.
'So why don't we feel like this? As you can see, we all have the mechanisms in place in our organs to make us feel fantastic all the time, so what is the problem?' I picked up the red marker and drew a large dot on top of one of the acupuncture points in the shoulder of my diagram man, before answering my own question. 'The problem is that if there is a blockage at an acupuncture point, only a small amount of Chi can squeeze through. This is like a traffic jam where six lanes of traffic turn into one and then only one car at a time can pass. As a result the organs do not get enough Chi to function effectively and your spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing suffers.' I drew a table on the whiteboard showing examples of some positive and negative states and emotions associated with each of the organs I had drawn.
The non-freeflow state
I started the organ circuit again by pointing at the Lungs. 'Now, in the obstructed version in which the organs are not functioning properly, the Lungs make you feel constricted rather than spontaneous. You find it hard to accept change, detach from the past or embrace the future. You feel sadness or grief and have a sense of not being in control.
'The Heart is also deprived of Chi, so it generates feelings of depression and disillusionment, you experience anxiety or insomnia or both and feel like you are in a state of shock. You are in a non-love relationship with yourself, others and the world.
'Now the Liver makes you feel like you are driving with the handbrake permanently on, creating frustration, anger or resentment. As the Spleen can't function properly, you feel constantly tired. You wake up and don't want to get out of bed. When you do get up, you just can't get going. The whole day is a drag. Your body aches and feels heavy and your muscles are tight. Your posture is hunched. You don't ever feel really present. It takes a huge amount of effort to think and then even more of an effort to get your thoughts and your words across clearly. It is almost as if the muscles in your mouth don't have the energy to do the job of speaking, so you have no desire to communicate with anyone.'
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Higher and Higher by Jost Sauer. Copyright © 2006 Jost Sauer. Excerpted by permission of Allen & Unwin.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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