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Hey, I'm Marty. I Drive the Bus! Book II
If you have ever driven a bus or have been a passenger on a bus; you must read this book!
By Martin Molinaro
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2010 Martin Molinaro
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-6368-3
Chapter One
Eating on the bus
One of the many signs posted on the bus requests that the Passengers refrain from eating on the bus. Understanding this sign is not really that complicated and doesn't require much thought. Let me be a little bit sarcastic, like I usually am, and say I really enjoy it when Passengers sneak food on the bus and eat it while the bus is in motion. Oh yea, that's a mess waiting to happen. I especially look forward to cleaning up after people when they make messes. If a Passenger does accidentally drop a piece of food on the floor they don't bother to pick it up. What the Passenger does is kick the dropped food under the seat in front of them or under the seat that they're sitting in. These seats usually happen to be the back seats of the bus for obvious reasons.
The food that is safely tucked away under the seat now has a chance of becoming a permanent fixture on the bus. You see if the misplaced food doesn't get stepped on and gets tracked all over the bus; chances are that nobody will know that it's there. Many times the cleaning crew, while performing their busy duties, will over look little things like that. In time, the unforgotten food, after spawning and growing unknown molds and funguses, will finally get someone's attention.
This attention getter most often happens when a Passenger notices a strange odor on the bus. Sometimes the attention getter happens when a Passenger notices a mysterious object nestled on the bus floor in an obscure place.
The color and shape of these mysterious objects are usually determined by the changing seasons. Temperature extremes unquestionably have an affect on the mysterious objects. I came to the conclusion that if it is fall or winter then the undisclosed object is usually of dull or dark colors. Where as if it is summer or spring time the object in question appears to have brilliant and vibrant colors. This could be nature's way of camouflaging. The best I can tell is that there is no correlation between colors and odors. I've actually witnessed both types of specimens. In reality, I truly believe that both specimens can omit a fragrance that will bring tears to your eye and a lump in your throat.
There are objects that I have seen that fall into neither the color or odor category. These objects are just there. No one knows where they came from or how long they have been there. Heaven knows what they may mutate into. These objects are classified as "Just one of those unknown mysteries."
I realize that no one is perfect and we do what we have to do. Not going into any details, but; a while back one of my Passengers had a problem where he would eat food off the floor of the bus. The food that this Passenger ate from the floor included gum and candies. I had to tell him on numerous occasions not to. That really grossed me out. He did have some major issues so I won't go down that road.
A lady gets on my bus one morning and I notice that she has a bag of pastries from the local bakery in her left hand as she flashes me her monthly bus pass with her right hand. I noticed the logo on the pastry bag because I've been to that bakery many times before. Being experience with their foodstuffs I would say that everything that I have purchased from that bakery is exquisite. The bakery is known for products that are gooey, nutty, frosty and crumbly. There usually is an over abundances of whatever topping there is and the portions are huge. One cannot eat one of their products and not make a mess. Trust me on that!
The lady walked past me and sat down a couple seats behind me on the left side of the bus. People think that if they sit behind the Bus Driver; that the Bus Driver cannot see them. In reality, my interior mirror gives me a very good view of the entire interior of the bus. Even though the Driver has a good view of the bus coach, I would say that there are many blind spots on the bus. The seats directly behind the Driver fall into this category. Of course if someone wants to keep something out of the Drivers view, all they have to do is hold the item behind the backs of the seats or down low in front of them while they are seated on the bus. We Drivers can't see through the seats.
Anyways, after making sure everyone was seated and it was safe to continue my route; I closed the bus doors and safely merged into traffic. As I was driving I glanced into my interior mirror and watched as the lady, who had just boarded the bus, took a large pastry out of the bag that she was carrying and proceeded to take a big bite out of it that would make a crocodile proud! Not wanting to make a big deal out of it or cause a scene I said loudly, "Please don't eat on the bus."
Watching in the mirror, I saw the lady look up toward the Drivers area and at the same time put what was left of the pastry back into the bag. I thought that the incident was over. I watched in the mirror as the lady frantically chewed the food that was in her mouth. She was looking forward toward me and trying to talk and chew at the same time. While she was doing this she was making some really disgusting sounds. I really could not understand a word that she was trying to say. It took a minute or so before she could talk and I could understand her. I must say that she took a good bite out of that pastry. After she finished chewing and swallowing her food she said in a very loud sarcastic voice, "I'm not eating anything. Why are you picking on me?" She had one of those voices that used a lot of nasal punctuation. I thought of it as kind of annoying.
There were other Passengers on the bus and I did not want to argue with anyone about something so trivial. So again, not wanting to make a big deal out of it I said, "I'm not picking on anyone. All I'm asking is please don't eat on the bus. That's all!"
The lady yelled back, "I ain't eating nothing!!! Why are you looking at me and yelling at me?"
I said "Lady, I'm not yelling at anybody. All I'm asking is that you refrain from eating on the bus like everybody else. That's all!! This isn't worth getting upset and arguing over. OK?"
"No it's not OK! I ride the bus all the time and I never eat anything on the bus. You are just picking on me because you don't like me!"
Not wanting to continue arguing with her I needed to come up with a solution and I needed one fast. About that time the chime line sounded indicating one of the other Passengers wanted off at the next stop. Ah-ha, this was my way out. I pulled the bus over to the curb near the bus stop and opened the front and rear doors. I opened both doors because most of the Passengers were seated at the rear of the bus and it was more convenient for them to use the rear door rather than the front door.
A couple Passengers disembarked out of the rear door. As one of them was exiting the bus he waved to me and I waved back. This fellow was a regular rider and it was in his routine that when he got off the bus he would wave at the Bus Driver. After waving to the disembarking Passenger, I turned toward the lady whom I had been talking to about not eating on the bus. I spoke to her in a pleasant voice. I said to her "Before we continue this conversation, would you please come to the front of the bus. I want to show you something."
She looked at me as if I were trying to trick her. I said, "Please come to the front of the bus, I just want you to see something. I am not going to kick you off the bus or anything like that. I just want you to see something." After I said that to her it kind of toned things down. She reluctantly got up from her seat and walked to the front of the bus.
When she got up to the standee line, which is the line that extends across the aisle on the floor directly behind the Driver, I asked her to look in my rear view mirror. My rearview mirror is approximately three feet long and maybe nine inches wide. As I sat there in the Drivers seat watching; she leaned forward and look into the mirror. What she saw was the telltale sign of powdered sugar around her mouth. To top it off, her black sweater was also littered with sprinkles and crumbs from the aforementioned pastry.
I did not want to sit there and look like l was gloating, which I probably was. So I turned back in my seat toward the front of the bus. She looked at herself in the mirror for about three to five seconds and turned toward me. I was not expecting an apology or explanation, but; if she wanted to give me one I was more than willing to graciously accept it. No, that wasn't going to happen. What the lady did was snap her head toward me and look me directly in the face. Then without missing a beat she said, "I don't know what you're trying to show me, but; that stuff has been there since breakfast!"
I didn't say another word. I could tell that if anyone one was going to do any apologizing that it would have to be me and not her. And it sure wasn't going to be me! She returned to her seat content that she had won the argument and I humbly continued driving my bus route. I have made up my mind that the next time someone gets on my bus with a bag of pastries; I'm going to point out the no eating sign before they get past the standee line.
Chapter Two
Lady Reading the paper upside down
There is such a variety of people that ride the bus that it would be extremely difficult to try to categorize every one of them. People want to be accepted as individuals regardless of what their income or social status is. It is just human nature. Many times when individuals do things out of their character, the end result is quite often unforgettable.
Morning time around the downtown bus station is usually pretty much the same year round. The Passengers that are at the bus station very early in the morning, first buses out, are typically regular Passengers who rely on the bus to get them to their jobs. In saying that, there is a combination of blue collar workers and white collar workers at the bus station at the same time. Most of the time the two groups intermingle harmoniously, but; occasionally there are heated discussions. If a problem does arise, the cause is usually one of the adult Passengers acting like a child rather than like the adult that their supposed to be. There is always one in every crowd.
By the time these two groups, the blue and white collar workers, have vacated the Transfer Center and are at their assigned jobs; the next wave of Passengers arrive at the Transit Station. The next wave of Passengers are the students. The student group includes: elementary students; middle school students; high school students and college age students. By the time that the students get to the downtown Transit Center the experienced adult bus riders are long gone. These adults don't want any part of this many Kids. These adults have experienced the Kids at their best; or should I say the Kids at their worst. The rowdiness, the profane language and smoking is just too much for a normal adult to put up with, especially if the adults are not use to being around Kids. All the Bus Drivers deal with the Kids in their own way. My way is to just ignore the Kids because I know that they will be gone in an hour or so. I do maintain order on my bus and the Kids know what I will and will not tolerate. They know that I'm not going to be intimidated and have no problem with reporting them and having their bus privileges taken away. They also know that I will respect them if they show me respect.
One morning on the first bus of the day I was waiting for our departure time to arrive. I sat in the Drivers seat enjoying my morning coffee and reading the sports page. The Passengers that were seated on the bus were doing their morning rituals. Some of the Passengers were reading whatever; some were listening to their radio or Ipod through their earphones while others just sat there thinking.
There were approximately ten Passengers on the bus at the time. It occurred to me that those that were reading were all reading the local paper. I knew this to be true because I had one of the newspapers too. As I glanced back through the coach section of the bus at the Passengers, I noticed something peculiar. The newspaper that they all were reading had a picture of a tall ship on the front page. This was an article about a Tall Ship Festival that our community was celebrating. This picture, of the tall ships, was in the upper left hand section of all the newspapers as the readers held the paper out in front of them as they read the newspaper. I noticed that one of the newspapers that one Passenger was reading, that the picture of the tall ship was upside down and in the lower right hand section of the newspaper.
I watched in amazement as the reader held the paper out in front of her and in sort of unisons turned the page of her paper when one of the other Passengers would turn the page of the paper that they were reading. I also noticed that the person who was reading the paper upside down was trying to emulate the Passenger seated across the aisle from her. The Passenger seated across the aisle from her was a regular Passenger and would always fold the newspaper in a special way that he could read the paper, but; in small sections at a time. I know this to be true because I have witnessed this Passenger fold his newspaper that way many times in the past.
Again, I am not judging people. All I'm doing is observing my Passengers actions. Anyways, the person that was reading the newspaper upside down is one of our special Passengers. She is not as fortunate as most people, but; her short comings are more than made up by her outgoing love for her fellow man. She has a wonderful attitude about everything. She is very inquisitive and at times she can be somewhat annoying to those that do not know her. She will strike up a conversation with anybody. Most of the time when she does strike up a conversation with someone, the conversation usually starts with her complimenting who ever she is talking to. All the Passengers that is familiar with her, kind of watch out for her well-being.
Let me continue, the time pasted quickly and before I knew it, it was time to depart. I announced over the internal loudspeaker that we were leaving the Transfer Center. I do this because then the Passengers won't be startled as the bus pulls out and there is less chance of anyone getting injured. Just a courtesy on my part I guess. Some people really do get engrossed in what their reading and lose tract of time: I know I do.
As we drove on with my assigned route, some of the Passengers kept reading the newspaper. I noticed that my special Passenger had put the newspaper away in one of her many tote bags that she carries and was just sitting there looking out the windows enjoying the scenery. I continued with my route. After driving about ten blocks or so I knew that the chime line would soon be sounded by my special Passenger. Knowing my Passenger routines has become a sort of hobby for me. Sure enough, the chime line sounded and my special Passenger wanted to be dropped off at the next bus-stop. This bus-stop incidentally was across the street from a large floral shop. My special Passenger, regardless of the weather, stopped here once a week to look at the pretty flowers and floral decorations. The next couple days after she stops at the florist, she always tells the Bus Drivers what the Driver misses by not stopping at the florist. This happens once a week to whoever is driving the bus route that she happens to be on. This is routine for her.
Well anyways, it usually takes her about a minute or so to gather all her belongings. She usually goes overboard on whatever she carries. Whatever the weatherman say's the weather will be; she will always be prepared for the worst. If the weatherman predicts a forecast of a chance for rain; to her it means that she must have in her possession a raincoat, a pair of boots and a large umbrella with her that day. Most of the time she forgets to empty her tote bags out and carry items for days. After gathering all her items she always come up to the Bus Driver and tells them thank you for the ride and for the Bus Driver to have a safe day.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Hey, I'm Marty. I Drive the Bus! Book II by Martin Molinaro Copyright © 2010 by Martin Molinaro. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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