Help Your Child Excel at Reading: An Essential Guide for Parents
240
Help Your Child Excel at Reading: An Essential Guide for Parents
240eBook
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Overview
- helpful for parents with children from 4 to 14 years written by a teacher especially for parents empowers parents,
- gives accurate information about the latest methods for teaching literacy links reading and writing strategies encourages the transfer of skills to new topics and developmental levels.
Explains how to help children achieve real reading success making reading something instinctive, as well as something they learn to love doing. The book discusses a consistent theme of developing all aspects of the child the emotional, social and educational. It emphasises the importance of the partnership between home and school, and discusses the different approaches to help children connect sounds, sound patterns in the written form and to use a variety of strategies to obtain meaning from reading and to write meaningfully. Studies have proved the significance of early informal reading and writing before children begin school and the critical values of them understanding phonemic awareness early in the educational experience.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781921295713 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Rockpool Publishing |
| Publication date: | 01/09/2008 |
| Sold by: | SIMON & SCHUSTER |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 240 |
| File size: | 2 MB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Help Your Child to Excel at Reading
By Katherine Bates
Rockpool Publishing Pty Ltd
Copyright © 2008 Katherine BatesAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-921295-71-3
CHAPTER 1
Your Children's Emotional Needs
We may not like to admit it, but what drives much of our behaviour is our response to pain and pleasure. In other words, emotions — rather than reasoning or intellectual knowledge — are the important driving forces for our behaviour. Emotions affect our reactions to learning and learning experiences.
Generally, when children begin school, they go there believing that school is good for them and that they will make new friends and play new games. In other words, school becomes a place that has a social purpose. Children also believe they will learn to read and write — which gives school an academic purpose.
Children see that the adults around them have acquired particular skills which allow them to pursue fulfilling and useful lives: therefore, they believe they too will learn skills at school and that these will help them to fit into society. Often, this has narratives attached and will vary according to the age of the children. Little ones may want to be police officers or nurses, early teens aspire to positions that bring them higher income. Later, when they have developed a stronger sense of self, of their abilities, talents and, most importantly, their interests, they begin to see school as a natural progression to acquiring their goals and as a part of growing up and taking part in their community. This gives school a social context — children see it as a natural pathway to being a part of their community and their world.
However, if children associate learning with emotional pain because they have experienced failure, rejection, embarrassment or other negative emotions at school, they are very likely to try to avoid the tasks that trigger these negative emotions. Instead, they may retreat and seek pleasure and comfort outside school, discounting all the benefits that schooling and learning can have for them.
There is a close connection between learning to read and their social identity — or how they see themselves in the world. So it is essential to develop children's sense of self in terms of 'who they are' rather than 'what they are good at'. This specifically separates their personal identity from their academic performance. Academic performance is important, of course, but scores, rankings and scholarships don't make up all of 'who we are'. If these are the only ways to measure self-esteem, children (and adults) may develop a negative sense of self because they will perceive difficulties or 'academic' failure as a failure of self.
Emotional Responses
Researchers have suggested that children's emotional responses become more significant with age. Therefore, if your children experience difficulties reading, it is important to intervene at an early stage. Being in a state of high anxiety and stress not only affects how they feel and think but it directly affects their ability to learn. It can interfere with or block their ability to retrieve stored knowledge, reduce their working memory and their ability to understand (listen actively to) what they hear. The more complicated and deep these negative feelings, fears and trauma, the more difficult it is to undo the emotional damage or distress.
Imagine knots in a rope or shoelace being like reading difficulties. The greater the number of knots, the more difficult it is to undo the rope or shoelace. If it is wet, dirty, made worse by several unsuccessful attempts or has remained knotted for a long time, the more difficult the knot is to untangle. When I was teaching grade one, I would undo and do up many shoelaces throughout the day. The same students would come back time and time again. They would hold their shoe out without attempting to unknot it themselves. If I had continued to do it without teaching them how to fix the problem on their own, they would have kept on returning, dependent on someone else to fix their problem.
When we attempt to unravel the knot, we have to look at how the 'knot' was made and follow the tangle backwards to successfully untie it. Even after it has been undone, evidence of its existence will appear in the very nature of the material.
So it is with learning to read. If you read all the words for your children or jump in and tell them the correct answer before they've had time to try themselves, what are you really teaching them? It is not independence and autonomy. You are solving the problem for them — and giving them the messages that trying is unacceptable and that pauses are not appropriate. It also tells them that thinking time is not allowed in reading — yet exploring and finding meaning from the combination of words in a sentence is one basis of reading.
On the other hand, if you don't help your children through the process and just expect them to achieve all things at once — or alone — they may avoid learning altogether. The key for you, as parents, is to know how to intervene and when or when not to intervene at all.
The repeated experience of failing to read, or of struggling with it, can cause layers of negative emotions and lack of motivation. As children attempt to reduce or avoid uncomfortable feelings, they may try to 'block out' these feelings — and their bodies' responses to these feelings — as a way to distance or separate them from the distress. This unhelpful strategy is often referred to as 'emotional blocking' or 'metal static'. These blocking strategies may seem to protect them in the short term, but as they get older the more intricate and complex the strategies become.
The researchers Charlton and Jones explain emotional blocking as a form of panic. Children — and indeed many adults — can become so consumed by the effect of what they are doing, or are about to do, that they are unable to concentrate on the task. This in turn affects their memory, recall and ability to concentrate.
This is what happened when I had my first driving lesson. I was so obsessed with trying to drive perfectly and to please my father that I was unable to concentrate in a calm or self-confident way. I was panicking. My body was showing signs of anxiety and, because I was in this state, my reflexes were not only exaggerated but impulsive. My unrealistic expectation of being able to drive well on my first attempt — rather than learning in small achievable steps — was like expecting to be able to read and understand an encyclopaedia the first time I tried to read.
Emotional blocking may occur with many activities or situations that cause uncomfortable emotions, such as fear and uncertainty. However, whether the blocking occurs on the diving blocks before a big race, while beginning an exam in high school or when opening the first page of a book, it is triggered by emotion.
Physical responses are reactions to emotions. As we experience uncomfortable emotions, our bodies create protective chemicals that 'block' clear messages to the cortex — the part of our brain where we process memory — in an attempt to block the unpleasant experience. But these chemicals also impede shortterm memory, decision-making and the thought processes that involve logic and problem solving. The blocking reaction is often involuntary and can result in varying response levels and types, such as jumping at a loud sound or screaming at the sight of a spider. It is a protective response. But for children experiencing difficulties with their learning in and out of classrooms such responses can significantly hinder their progress. Running away from a spider is a helpful protective response, but running away from school or refusing to go near a book are not helpful ways to deal with anxiety about school or learning to read.
Children experiencing reading difficulties may display a number of physical responses that indicate emotional distress.
• They may use the word 'no', or behaviour to indicate 'no', such as refusing to listen to an instruction, refusing to eat or behaving in a way that is causing harm to themselves or someone else.
• They may exhibit separation anxiety when they are left at school in the mornings.
• They may refuse to get ready for school, enter the school grounds or, in extreme cases, run away.
• They may blush when asked to read in front of others or to take part in group work.
• They may feel teary, dizzy, nauseated and hot, perspire excessively, including having sweaty hands, and their pulse rates may increase.
• They may confuse the nervousness and tightness in their stomachs with hunger.
• They may begin to shallow breathe, fiddle, shake their leg, tap the desk or their foot on the floor, swing on the chair or distract others in an attempt to avoid the task.
• They may seek help inappropriately by continually calling out and wanting excessive reassurance.
• They may need to go to the toilet frequently or, in more severe situations, may soil their pants.
• They may become angry, snappy or unusually disagreeable.
All of us have experienced one or more of these physical symptoms at some time, in varying degrees. Sometimes these symptoms help us get through a challenging time or to calm down. But the severity of the symptoms — and the way we react to them — through adolescence and adulthood — can create serious problems, preventing emotional, social and educational development.
To begin to understand negative behaviour we need to look at why this behaviour is being exhibited. Negative behaviour is often a response to feelings of anxiety. People usually respond in one of three ways.
1. They may try to flee the situation — this is when they leave, avoid, deny, ignore or refuse to participate. These are passive responses to make the feelings 'go away'.
2. They may fight the feelings — this may be confused with courage or determination but fighting is different because it is disguising the feeling with anger. This is not okay because they are trying to dominate the situation in which they feel out of control. This can make the situation worse.
In both of these responses the negative feelings usually increase — because the anger and anxiety are getting in the way.
3. They may choose to face their feelings — this is when they are able to recognise their feelings, find ways to comfort themselves and to either accept or resolve the issues that are causing the negative feelings.
This third way is the best way but often is the most difficult because children need to be able identify their emotions, ways to deal with them and perhaps seek out people who can help them. Children need emotional strength to face, deal with and in some cases change their inappropriate emotional responses to difficult situations. As parents, you need to learn skills to help your children develop wide and effective ways of coping with their emotions.
Coping with Anxiety
The Macquarie Dictionary defines anxiety as being 'distress or uneasiness of the mind caused by fear'. Although individuals respond differently to anxiety, if you recognise the symptoms, there are actions you can take to support your children and work through their feelings — and, in the process, alleviate some of their distress and anxiety.
Anxiety presents itself in many ways and everyone experiences it. But like all types of feelings, anxiety varies in its levels of intensity and duration.
Low levels of anxiety are part of everyday life. You can feel nervous when you are driving in heavy traffic or when you experience something new. Your children may be anxious at the school gate, before the start of a race or when they are reading. Short bursts of anxiety heighten adrenal levels and make you more alert in times of danger. Under normal circumstances, anxiety can help you to do the things you need to do.
However, many children become engulfed in negative feelings, and do not understand that these come and go. Much of their thinking and problem-solving is black and white — yes or no, on or off. Helping your children to identify anxiety responses and their levels of anxiety is helpful so that they can begin to use strategies to cope with the feelings.
• They can 'talk back' their feelings to you — children describe how they are feeling. This gives them an opportunity to say out loud what they are feeling. Often simply talking about these negative feelings helps to reduce the anxiety.
• They can listen to you — parents describe what they have heard and ask their child whether they have understood their child's feelings. This helps children to check whether you have understood what is wrong and gives them a further opportunity to confirm your interpretations or clear up any misunderstandings.
• They can score or rate their feelings — children can describe their feelings by setting a number to them: pain or excitement, for instance, on a scale of one to five. This helps them to see that feelings have varying degrees of intensity (mild, strong). This also helps you to understand your children's level of anxiety in particular situations. They also learn that different events create different levels of responses inside us at different times.
Children may experience 'acceptable levels' of anxiety when approaching reading or tasks that include reading. These levels may be in short bursts and will naturally subside. Their bodies are able to regain balance and restore calm. Simple, effective coping strategies will teach them to understand that their anxiety will pass and will give them the confidence and independence to take positive and safe risks when attempting tasks that may initiate an anxious — or 'flight/fight' — response, such as with the challenges of reading.
Don't be too perturbed if your children exhibit some signs of anxiety. It is a normal part of life — and a normal part of learning anything. What is considered a normal level will be different for each individual child.
But there are some general guidelines to use when deciding whether your children's anxiety levels exceed the acceptable range. Factors taken into consideration include: the intensity of the feeling and the response to the feeling, the frequency, the duration of each anxiety attack, and the level to which the anxiety is interfering with the child's normal functioning.
As parents, it is important to also consider your children's personality and any unusual changes or significant peaks in any of the above factors. Changes can be triggered by a traumatic experience or a build-up of anxiety about an issue or situation. If you are concerned about how your children are feeling about their school or their abilities and you think this is affecting their ability to function normally, then seeking counsel — in the first instance, from the school — is always recommended.
You need to distinguish between what is normal anxiety and what isn't. Take the responses of one seven-year-old boy learning to write during an ordinary school day. As he seeks to find out the letters for the sounds, he begins to feel overwhelmed. He begins to blush. His lip quivers. The uncertainty of finding and writing the ideas down in a narrative story without help overwhelms him. He stops writing and hides his tears with his hands.
For this boy, the fear of failure, of not being clear about the ideas and the words he would need, significantly impacted on his progress. He needed to learn other ways to cope because his anxiety had interfered with his ability to complete the task, and ultimately stopped him from enjoying the process of learning.
Achieving success can be fraught, and can be influenced by your children's belief in their capabilities and in their previous educational achievements. Studies have found that beginning readers become aware of their difficulties at an early stage, so it is important to encourage and praise them for participating in reading activities — this will give them a greater sense of accomplishment. In this way, as children build their own concepts of self (internal thoughts and self talk), parents can assist by encouraging and praising their efforts (external thoughts and words from others).
'Teaching' your children to cope with anxiety involves a balance of preparing them for uncomfortable feelings they may feel (proactive support) and helping them as they feel anxious and respond to this anxiety (reactive support).
Proactive support involves encouraging positive experiences that develop positive memories about learning — ones that are not dependent on their levels of accomplishment but on their effort in a supportive learning environment. This fosters children's self-esteem. At home, this means the way you interact as you read with, and for, your children. Emotions are strongly linked to memories and providing positive experiences that your children can remember helps them to feel good about reading.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Help Your Child to Excel at Reading by Katherine Bates. Copyright © 2008 Katherine Bates. Excerpted by permission of Rockpool Publishing Pty Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Cover,Title Page,
Copyright,
Preface,
Part I Supporting Your Children's Emotional Needs,
1. Your Children's Emotional Needs,
2. Developing Self-confidence and Self-esteem,
3. Conquering Fear: Avoiding Avoidance,
Part II Supporting Your Children's Social Needs,
4. Learning About the World,
Part III Supporting Your Children's Educational Needs,
5. Your Children's Educational Needs,
6. Reading Basics,
7. Reading at Home,
8. When Something Doesn't Seem Right,
9. Writing Basics,
10. Transitions to Secondary School,
11. Improving Writing,
12. Computers at Home and in the Classroom,
Epilogue,
Resources,
Back Cover Material,