Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!

by Mykle Hansen

Overview

Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.

"Mykle Hansen's book is the Scarlet Letter, the Age of Innocence, the Wuthering Heights of books narrated by a guy being eaten by a bear -- The Last of the Motherfuckin' Mohican's of ursine mastication. Just sayin'." -CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of Fool and A Dirty Job

"Brilliant, poignant, and utterly hilarious." -CARLTON MELLICK III, author of Satan Burger

"A satirical swan song for the secret reptile desires in every American heart...face-melting fun from first to last." -JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, author of Angel Dust Apocalypse and Extinction Journals

"A unique and memorable work of absurd humor." -LITERARY STRANGE DIGEST

Product Details

BN ID:	2940013381087
Publisher:	Eraserhead Press
Publication date:	09/16/2011
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	129
File size:	441 KB

About the Author

Famous Author Mykle Hansen is colorless, odorless and tasteless. He is the author of the short-story collection EYEHEART EVERYTHING, the tragicomic novel HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! and the novella collection RAMPAGING F*CKERS OF EVERYTHING ON THE CRAZY SHITTING PLANET OF THE VOMIT ATMOSPHERE. His latest novel, THE CANNIBAL'S GUIDE TO ETHICAL LIVING, makes rich people nervous.

Mykle Hansen is a noted exponent of the "Bizarro" movement in literature, film and personal hygiene. He is also a musician, carpenter, computer programmer, sculptor, tap dancer, bicyclist, martial artist, ordained minister and firm block of lightly deep-fried tofu.

Mr. Hansen resides with his family and friends within a magic bubble called Portland, Oregon -- a place where everybody drinks coffee and rides bicycles and hugs trees, and nothing bad ever happens.

http://mykle.com is a website you should only visit if you like kittens.

Editorial Reviews

absolutely. lets be honest, this is a book you buy for the cover, initially. but behold: its actually well-written!! this is the most unsympathetic character ive read since dostoevskys the adolescent, but its a hoot, and i didnt want to throw the book even once, which i did with the adolescent. thats a lot of commas to just say - yes - read this book.

Karen Brisette

This book is irreverent, vile, gross and absolutely hysterical. Do not read it in bed with your partner trying to sleep next to you… they will be awakened either by you falling off the bed laughing, or by you poking them in the side saying, ‘just listen to this part!’ as you proceed to read them a paragraph that will have both of you rolling around on the floor holding your crotch to keep from peeing yourselves.

Chris Offut

An imaginative, colorful, incredibly funny read. The title catches you. The synopsis grips you. And the story itself puts a choke-hold on you like…well, like you’re being eaten by a bear. I found myself laughing out loud over and over. From start to finish, I devoured every word.

Marjorie Frum