Good Grief: Embracing life at a time of death

by Catherine Mayer, Anne Mayer Bird

Overview

Sandi ToksvigAnita Anand

‘Grief is more than the price of love. It is love. We must learn not just to live with it, but to make it welcome.’

Mother and daughter Anne Mayer Bird and Catherine Mayer were widowed within 41 days of each other on the eve of the pandemic, then locked down alone. Their profound isolation was broken just once a week, when Catherine visited Anne to care for her, at distance and in a mask. Together they found ways to navigate their loss and the startling questions and challenges that confronted them.

In this memoir, Catherine also investigates the possibility that her husband, renowned musician Andy Gill, contracted Covid-19 when his band, Gang of Four, toured China in late 2019. Her main focus, however, is not on death, but on life and love. This is a captivating account of lives well lived, moving and spiked with black humour. It is interwoven with letters Anne wrote to her husband John to tell him of the astonishing and heartrending events since his death and her small triumphs in living independently.

In sharing their insights and experiences, Catherine and Anne aim to help those who have lost or will lose people or who wish to know how best to support others in such circumstances. They also celebrate love—for John and Andy and each other.

‘We are extraordinarily lucky, my mother and I. We have each other and we have this room.

‘In this living room, we are learning to embrace the things we can’t touch, each other and the lovely dead.’

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780008436100
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	06/15/2021
Pages:	252
Sales rank:	1,040,325
Product dimensions:	6.30(w) x 9.20(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Catherine Mayer is a bestselling author, award-winning journalist and co-founder of the Women’s Equality Party and Primadonna Festival.

Anne Mayer Bird is an arts publicist, who has worked across many art forms and at institutions including The Place, Opera North, The National Theatre, The Young Vic, The Philharmonia Orchestra and The Royal Court Theatre. She serves on the boards of two theatres.

Table of Contents

Foreword 11

Introduction 15

1 Loss 30

2 Denial 47

3 Death 60

Letter to John: 27 March 2020 73

4 Aftermath 81

Letter to John: 20 April 2020 96

5 Three funerals and a memorial 104

Anne's eulogy for John 114

Catherine's eulogy for Andy 120

Letter to John: 17 May 2020 126

Letter to John: 25 May 2020 132

6 Sadmin 137

Letter to John: 1 July 2020 157

7 Heaven has no rage 164

Letter to John: 6 July 2020 193

8 Covid 202

Letter to John: 22 December 2020 238

9 Comfort 243

Letter to John: 12 January 2021 266

10 Love 270

Letter to John: 16 June 2021 286

11 Rebuilding 290

Letter to John: 17 July 2021 314

Letter to John: 1 September 2021 316

12 In conclusion 319

The Dying Rays 343

Acknowledgements 344

Editorial Reviews

‘One of the saddest things I've ever read but also the most powerful. It's made me want to cling tight to the people I love while acknowledging their mortality and mine too.’ Marian Keyes

‘The most life-affirming book ever written about death.’ Sandi Toksvig

‘One of the most powerful and helpful books about grief that you will ever read.’ Anita Anand

‘A perfect book, specific and personal, but spot on about the universal nature of grief and how we grieve. Every page sings and, though often heart-breaking, it's genuinely an utter pleasure to read.’ Kate Mosse

‘Every life has a start, a middle and an end. Everyone prepares for the first two events, but are we doing what we can to prepare for the end? Catherine and Anne generously share their experience of widowhood knowing that they can help others prepare and cope with grief. An important book on a very important subject.’ June Sarpong

‘Fantastic book, full of beautiful honesty’ Rio Ferdinand

‘Smart, upbeat and brimming with fortitude’ Observer

‘Exceptionally insightful . . . would be very helpful to anyone who has lost someone dear – or who knows someone who has. Which is all of us.’ Maggie Alderson for the Lady

‘A powerful read’ Bella

‘A celebration of life’ i

From the Publisher