Getting Through My Parents' Divorce: A Workbook for Children Coping with Divorce, Parental Alienation, and Loyalty Conflicts

by Amy J. L. Baker PhD, Katherine C. Andre PhD

Overview

Is your child stuck in the middle of a high-conflict divorce? In Getting Through My Parents' Divorce, two psychologists and experts in parental alienation offer a fun and engaging workbook to help kids work through stressful or confusing emotions and feel safe and loved—no matter what.

Divorce is never easy. But for kids who have parents in conflict with one another, or where one parent is so hostile that he or she is actively trying to undermine the kids’ relationship with the other parent, divorce can be unbearable. This workbook is designed especially for kids, and includes helpful tips and exercises to help them deal with the negative impact of custody disputes, understand and identify their feelings, learn to cope with stress and other complex emotions, and feel secure.

Written by two leading experts in child psychology, this easy-to-use workbook includes a number of helpful suggestions to guide children though a number of possible scenarios, such as what to do if one parent says mean and untrue things about the other parent; what to do if a parent asks them to keep secrets from another parent; or what to do if one parent attempts to replace the other parent with a new spouse.

If you have or know a child that is dealing with a difficult divorce, this workbook will give them the tools needed to move past loyalty conflicts and the difficult emotions that can arise when parents don’t get along.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781626251366
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	07/01/2015
Pages:	128
Sales rank:	669,789
Product dimensions:	8.00(w) x 10.00(h) x 0.30(d)
Age Range:	5 - 12 Years

About the Author

Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a national expert on parental alienation and has written a seminal book on the topic, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, published by W. W. Norton & Company. In addition to conducting trainings around the country for parents as well as legal and mental health professionals, Baker has written dozens of scholarly articles on topics related to parent/child relationships and has appeared on national TV, including Good Morning America, CNN, and The Joy Behar Show. She has been quoted in The New York Times and U.S. News & World Report, among other print media outlets. Baker graduated from Barnard College, summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa. She has a PhD in human development from Teachers College, Columbia University.



Katherine C. Andre, PhD, is a licensed psychologist in clinical practice for over twenty years. She has worked extensively with families to prevent parental alienation before it begins and to strengthen parent/child relationships with both parents. As a court-appointed child custody director and mediator, she has supervised other mediators and helped parents to develop healthy parenting plans in their children’s best interest. She holds a bimonthly class on parenting that teaches parents the importance of keeping their children out of conflict. She has published articles on parental alienation in the Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association and The California Psychologist, and has made contributions on parental alienation to other publications. She graduated from the College of William and Mary, and received her PhD from the University of Georgia with an area of specialization in child neuropsychology.

Table of Contents

Note to Caring Adults v

Note to Parents vi

Welcome to Your Workbook! vii

Part 1 When Your Parents Fight

You Are Not Alone 1

Activity 1 Think of a Workbook Buddy 4

Activity 2 Things Parents Fight About 5

Feelings, Feelings, Feelings 6

Activity 3 Feelings Kids Have When Parents Fight 6

Activity 4 Start a Feeling Journal 8

Activity 5 Feelings About Divorce 8

Activity 6 Situations and Feelings 10

Activity 7 Expressing Feelings 11

Part 2 Coping Tools

Thinking for Yourself 13

Activity 8 Knowing Your Own Thoughts and Feelings 15

Considering Your Options 17

Unfreezing the Brain: The STEP Solution 17

Activity 9 Explore Options and Picture and Practice in Your Mind 19

Activity 10 Saying What You Want 23

Living Your Values 24

Activity 11 Finding Your Core Values 25

Activity 12 Knowing Your Core Values 26

Activity 13 Living Your Core Values 28

Acting with Courage 30

Activity 14 You Were Courageous When… 31

Activity 15 Inspiring Courage Within Yourself 32

Encouraging Yourself 33

Activity 16 Is Self-Talk Helpful? 34

Activity 17 Practicing Self-Talk 35

De-stressing Your Mind and Body 38

Activity 18 What Ways Do You Feel Stress? 39

Activity 19 Where Do You Feel Stress in Your Body When Your Parents Fight? 40

Activity 20 Letting Go of Stress 41

Activity 21 More Ways to Let Go of Stress 42

Asking for Help from Others 44

Activity 22 Helpful Qualities 46

Activity 23 Who Would You Ask for Help? 47

Activity 24 Finding Helpful People 48

Part 3 Using the Coping Tools 52

Getting Started 52

Activity 25 Which Situations Are Yours? 52

Sadness 55

Activity 26 What Does Sadness Feel Like? 57

Worry 63

Activity 27 What Does Worry Feel Like? 65

Anger 71

Activity 28 What Does Anger Feel Like? 73

Hurt 79

Activity 29 What Does Hurt Feel Like? 80

Confusion 87

Activity 30 What Does Confusion Feel Like? 89

Fear 95

Activity 31 What Does Fear Feel Like? 97

Guilt 103

Activity 32 What Does Guilt Feel Like? 105

Activity 33 Guilty Words 106

To Help You Remember 113

Interviews

Baker resides in Teaneck, NJ; Andre resides in Lakesport, CA.

Editorial Reviews

Exceptionally well written, organized, and presented, Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce is very highly recommended and ideal for use with children of divorced or divorcing parents who are ages 5 to 12 and in grades K–6.”
—Midwest Book Review


"Amy J. L. Baker and Katherine C. Andre have written this practical and child-friendly book to help children learn resilience for coping with divorce and other difficult interpersonal situations. They focus on the real experiences of divorce from the standpoint of the child. Through brief, structured written activities and a tone of kindness and support, they offer your child a chance to work through their experiences with self-awareness and a sense of competence.”
—Jeffrey Zimmerman, PhD, ABPP, psychologist who specializes in working with families of divorce, mediator and collaborative divorce professional, and coauthor of The Co-parenting Survival Guide and Adult Children of Divorce


“Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce is a very important and timely book. Written by two experts in the field, this book provides detailed, hands-on guidance for children struggling to make sense of the often chaotic and overwhelming feelings that can result from divorce. I highly recommend it.”
—Joshua Coleman, PhD, psychologist and author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along


“This is an excellent workbook for children whose parents are separated or divorced. As I read Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce I wondered how this book will come into the hands of youngsters who will benefit from it. Perhaps therapists or school counselors will give this book to children from divorced families. The authors, Amy J. L. Baker and Katherine C. Andre, suggest that a parent could give this workbook to his or her child and perhaps help the child with some of the activities. Even better, let’s hope that in some families, the divorcing parents will join together in providing this book to their child—and all of them will find valuable lessons in its pages.”
—William Bernet, MD, Professor Emeritus in the department of psychiatry at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN


“Divorce is a family crisis. Getting Through My Parents’ Divorce is a series of lessons for children to strengthen their resolve, learn effective coping skills, and avoid the pitfalls of self-blame and divided loyalties.”
—Douglas Darnell, PhD, CEO of PsyCare, Inc., and author of Divorce Casualties

From the Publisher