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Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you
Today’s pregnancy books may no longer recommend martinis and cigarettes to help pregnant women relax, but most offer moms to be a ton of worthless information—like what kind of fruit your baby is the size of at Week 16. Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where’s the good stuff—the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don’t tell you about pregnancy—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
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Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you
Today’s pregnancy books may no longer recommend martinis and cigarettes to help pregnant women relax, but most offer moms to be a ton of worthless information—like what kind of fruit your baby is the size of at Week 16. Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where’s the good stuff—the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don’t tell you about pregnancy—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
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Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you

Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you

by Emily Doherty
Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you
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Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you

Funny Little Pregnant Things: The good, the bad, and the just plain gross things about pregnancy that other books aren't going to tell you

by Emily Doherty

Overview

Today’s pregnancy books may no longer recommend martinis and cigarettes to help pregnant women relax, but most offer moms to be a ton of worthless information—like what kind of fruit your baby is the size of at Week 16. Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where’s the good stuff—the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don’t tell you about pregnancy—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781940716589
Publisher: SparkPress
Publication date: 04/05/2016
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 188
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.60(d)
Age Range: 17 - 18 Years

About the Author

Emily Doherty is a full-time working mother of two. A graduate of Northeastern Universityand once an avid rugby player, she is driven to succeed. She is currently a director of mutual fund sales for MFS Investment Management, where she has spent the last eight years educating financial advisors as well as doing public presentations on the stock market and other investment related topics. When she is not traveling around the state of Virginia and Washington DC, Doherty is at home with her husband, Patrick, raising her two young sons, Cullen and Lachlan.

Table of Contents

Introduction 9

Part 1 The Beginning 12

Taking the Test 15

Don't Tell the World Just Yet 22

Naming Your Child 24

Part 2 The Holy Trinity 28

Wet Dreams 30

It's 5:30 p.m., I Think I'll Go to Bed 33

It's 5:30 p.m., Why Can't I Go to Bed? 36

"Morning" Sickness 39

Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde 42

Cravings 45

The Baby Bump 48

A Whole New Wardrobe 51

Sex? Yes Please 54

You Are Probably Nesting If 56

I Gotta Go 59

An Emotional Mess 62

Am I Going Through Puberty Again? 64

Nipples or China? 66

Stretch Marks and Varicose Veins, Oh My! 68

Butt Buttons 70

Oh Where, or Where Did My Belly Button Go? 72

Cankles 73

Superhuman Scent 75

Who Wrote on My Belly? 77

The Great Teeth-Brushing Massacre 79

Alien in My Belly 82

When Did I Become a Member of the Golden Girls? 85

The Baby Registry 92

Baby Showers 103

The Waiting Game 105

Packing Your Bags 108

Quiet on the Set … and Action! 112

The Mommy Gene 122

My Baby Blues 124

Breast-Feeding 127

Part 3 Get Ready for Your Life to Change 136

The Constipation Continues 138

The Arrival of the Stomach Flap 141

The Case of the Disappearing Boobs 143

Sayonara, Sleep 145

The Decline of Your Social Life 148

The Decline of Your Sex Life 151

The Decline of Hangovers 155

From Politics to Poop 158

Code Red 161

Sick Baby 164

Now that I Have a Baby I Wish They Would Invent 169

Post-Baby Phenomena 174

Conclusion 179

Epilogue 181

About the Author 185

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