From Father to Son: Wisdom for the Next Generation

by Allen Appel, Sherry Conway Appel

Overview

When Allen Appel asked hundreds of sons, young and old, to recall the most memorable and valuable words their fathers told them, there came an outpouring of things practical and indispensable, some familiar, many surprising.

From Father to Son celebrates the trials and satisfactions of manhood and captures dads’ uncanny knack for seeing ahead. It is a useful gift any man can give proudly, perhaps remembering something his own father said. Advice like: “A computer is a tool, just like a hammer;” “The sun always comes up the next day;” and “Just because it looks good on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s going to look good when it comes in the mail.”

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250096302
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	04/04/2017
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	128
File size:	8 MB

About the Author

ALLEN APPEL is a writer of fiction and nonfiction parenting books, and the author of the long-running The Pastmaster time-travel series. He also writes the popular book blog The Thriller Guy. Allen and his wife, Sherry, live in a small town in North Carolina.
Allen Appel is the author of Thanks, Dad; Thanks, Mom; From Father to Son; and Old Dog's Guide for Pups. He lives in Hillsborough, North Carolina with his wife, Sherry Conway Appel, and their children.
SHERRY APPEL is a writer of parenting books, including Thanks, Mom and Wisdom from the Kitchen. She and her husband, Allen, live in a small town in North Carolina.

Read an Excerpt

From Father To Son

Wisdom fro the Next Generation

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By Allen Appel

St. Martin's Press

Copyright © 2017 Allen Appel
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-250-09629-6

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CHAPTER 1

WORK

If you want to make sure that a job is done badly, pay for the whole thing in advance.

Before you start a project, think hard on how you want it to end.

It doesn't matter how strong you are; if you lift something in the wrong way, you're going to hurt yourself. Keep your legs together, your hands on the inside, and bend your knees.

For a worker, the week has seven todays. For the lazy man, it has seven tomorrows.

If someone says he'll get back to you later, ask him when. And get his name.

You don't need a lot of fancy equipment to be a writer. Remember that Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while on the train to Gettysburg. But that being said, a laptop or even a cell phone can be very useful if you can't find an old envelope to write on.

My daddy used to tell a story his dad told him. Two horses were pulling a cart. One horse was barely leaning against the traces, the other was pulling for all he was worth. The driver was whaling away at the horse who was giving all he had. A bystander asked, "Why don't you beat the other horse?" The driver replied, "Don't you know? You always beat the horse that pulls." See, everybody piles the biggest load on the willing horse.

— David Jones

Touch a piece of paper only once. A busy man will get more done by either tossing a piece of paper into the trash can or sending it on its way with the appropriate action. The same applies to e-mail: Read. Respond. Delete.

Waste an hour in the morning and you'll spend all day trying to catch it up.

The four B's of creativity are Bed, Bath, Beach, and Bus. These are the places that ideas come to you, where solutions occur. They can pop into your head as if by magic, so be prepared to grab them. Never go to bed without a pen and paper nearby, and no matter how convinced you are that you'll remember it in the morning, make yourself get up and write the idea down.

It's not enough to have an idea, even if it's a great idea. You've got to do the work to implement it. That's the hard part.

If you really want to know what a fellow is like, give him some authority and see what he does with it.

An hour's work done in the morning is worth two done in the evening.

The reverse side has its own reverse side. If you've got a job to do, turn it over in your mind and look at it from all angles before you make any important decisions.

Think ahead and plan for all eventualities. The cow doesn't miss her tail until fly time.

If you try and fail, try again. If you fail again, contract the job out.

One volunteer is worth five hired hands.

Get a job.

If you've got a trade, you've got a job.

If you can't make it in America, you can't make it anywhere.

My step-grandfather had been an oil man back in West Virginia in the boom days. He said when you were up on a rig and it started to fall, you never jumped off. He had a wooden leg earned learning that hard lesson. When she starts to fall, he said, ride her to the ground. It's a pretty good lesson, even though I don't think I'll be climbing many oil derricks.

Never jump off, hang on, ride her to the ground.

— Allen Appel

CHAPTER 2

CARS

You can always take a curve ten miles an hour faster than the sign says.

Brake before you get into the curve; accelerate through it.

If a cop stops you, don't get out of your car unless he tells you to do so. Uncalled for jumping out of cars makes a cop very nervous. Be respectful. Do what he says. He's the one carrying the gun.

It's usually better to have a drunk driver in front of you where you can watch him.

Don't expect that buying a car, new or used, is going to be a rational experience. Be as knowledgeable as you can when you go into it, but generally it's just two fools agreeing on a price.

The only guy you have to watch out for is the guy in front of the guy behind you.

My father had a heart attack and was in intensive care. He motioned me over to the bedside. "Allan," he said, his voice as thin as paper, "take the car in for an oil change. But make sure you tell them to give you the old filter. If they don't give you the old filter, they just wipe it off and put it right back on."

— Allan Janus

CHAPTER 3

TOOLS, WOOD-WORKING, AND REPAIRS

Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Let the tool do the work.

If you want the job done right, do it yourself.

Do things right. You will never remember how much time it required once you are finished.

There are only two ways to do a job: the right way, and any other way.

If you don't have the time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?

Never break one thing to fix another.

Measure twice; cut once.

With a computer, a few basic tools, and a reasonable intelligence, a man can build his own house, fix his car, and learn to fly an airplane.

When using a handsaw, remember that the blade cuts only on the forward thrust.

Well begun is half done.

Finish what you start.

Use two hands.

Getting the right tool is half the job.

The right tool will make a hard job simple; the wrong tool will make a simple job hard.

In any craft you wish to master, buy one excellent tool.

A computer is a tool, just like a hammer.

When painting, everything takes two coats. No matter what it says on the paint can.

Build something as if you want it to last forever — or at least long after you are gone. If you do, and it does, it's a reminder of your time on this earth.

Hold the hammer at the end of the handle; don't choke up.

Drive every nail as if it were the only one you'll ever drive — and a hundred carpenters are watching.

Any home-repair job will entail at least three trips to the hardware store.

Put the top back on.

When you take apart something complex, lay the pieces out in the order they were removed; if very complex, take pictures of the process and pieces with your cell phone as you work.

Never force anything that's stuck. Stop and think it over. There's a gentle way to get it unstuck.

If you're working with a screwdriver or any threaded object, remember the rhyme — Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey. Turn the screw or nut to the right, it gets tighter; turn it to the left and it loosens.

Never cut what you can untie.

The third half hitch is always a waste of time. (The first two knots will do the job.)

The best carpenter makes the smallest pile of sawdust.

My father was "Mr. Fixit." I never remember seeing a repairman at our house when anything went on the fritz. Later, as I got older, I figured out that the reason we never had anyone else fix things is that we couldn't afford to. Our television set was always kind-of-working. My dad worked on it continually.

— Lloyd Greenburg

My dad had a great appreciation of humor, loved to joke and talk with his buddies, and was a colorful character. He never repaired appliances in his life, and I, of course, assumed that real men did not fix appliances. This was a problem the first few years of my marriage to someone whose father was an electrical engineer and not only fixed everything in their house, but then scoured the neighborhood for additional repairs.

— John Mcguire

CHAPTER 4

MANNERS AND DEPORTMENT

First impressions go a long way and last a long time.

Never whine: the squeaky wheel doesn't get the grease these days; it gets replaced.

Pay attention to everyone. Even a fool can sometimes give good advice.

Never let yourself be flattered by the words and smiles of your enemies.

Develop a firm handshake, which shows character. A weak handshake reflects insecurity. And always look a man in the eye when you're shaking hands with him.

Never call another man by his first name until he tells you it's all right to do so.

Any man more than ten years older than you are is called Mister.

Don't let people take your picture standing around with your hands in your pockets or a drink in your hand. You'll look like a bum.

Tell the truth. You'll go to hell for lying the same as stealing.

Listen to the other guy when you're having a conversation. Too many people spend the other fellow's talking time deciding what they're going to say.

A liar and thief are the lowest form of human life. Generally, they are one and the same.

Never send an e-mail you've written when you're angry. Let it wait a day, then decide.

Never send an e-mail without reading it over.

When you sit down at a table, put your napkin in your lap. Nobody is exactly certain what to do after that.

Don't believe rumors. One dog barks because it's seen something; every other dog in the neighborhood barks because it heard the first dog bark.

If you think you may be wrong, it's time to reconsider your position.

If you borrow something, make sure you return it in at least as good or better condition than you got it. And if it runs on gasoline, return it with a full tank.

Do everything as if it were an advertisement of your abilities. It is.

My father taught me to be honest, to do the best job I could do, and to be fair to whomever I was dealing with. Whenever I worked for anyone, he always insisted I see the job through. He would not let me quit until the job was finished. He taught me good manners and how to be a gentleman. After twenty- five years of marriage, I still hold the door for my wife.

— Harry Steele

When I was fourteen years old, there was a girl in our school who was ridiculed for her looks. She was not really bad-looking, but, like most budding adolescents, I wanted to be part of the gang. One day my old man caught me joking about Kathy's appearance, and startled my brother and myself by insisting that I apologize to her on the spot. When I replied that Kathy was not there, he did not let that technicality get in the way, but told me to simply pretend that she was, and to say I was sorry. It wasn't easy, but I did it, and learned a powerful lesson from the experience.

— Tony Rohling

CHAPTER 5

MONEY

Give a decent wage. If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

There are a lot of ways to get rich, but the easiest way is to manage other people's money.

If you want to be rich, make something that works for you while you're asleep.

If something seems to be a real good bargain, think twice. There's probably a reason for it. Best to find out what the reason is.

No matter how you try to rationalize it, if you buy stolen goods, you're just as bad as the original thief.

Don't fall into the trap of "book value." The worth of a thing is what someone will pay for it.

If you have to borrow money, always ask for a lot more than you need, and always wear your suit when you've got your hand out.

Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you want more: the friend or the money. And before you loan money to a friend, decide which you want to keep.

Don't loan anyone more money than you can afford to lose.

Pay what you owe, and pay it as quickly as you can.

Sometimes you've got to spend your money. Stop saving everything for that rainy day. Ever see an armored truck following a hearse?

We were very poor, so my father worked two jobs at a time, sometimes three. So he wasn't home that much. On Christmas morning, we would have to wait upstairs while he finished his milk deliveries before going down to open our presents. But he was a sweet man, very loving. He took the time to do things with his kids. I think he taught by example, rather than by direct advice.

— Sam Wynkoop

My father always used to say, "Money talks and everything else walks." Ironically, he was a printer by trade and earned his living for thirty years by printing money at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. I don't really think his job had much to do with his philosophical position. I just think he felt that was the way the world worked. And as money becomes more of a necessity in my own life, I am beginning to see more of what he was talking about.

— Frank DiPerna

Dad often said, "A man that doesn't pick up a penny that's laying on the ground won't ever amount to much." And if I'm not mistaken, the statement was prefaced by, "I remember my dad always saying …" So I'm the third (at least) generation to have received this wisdom.

— Ric Anderson

CHAPTER 6

SPORT

If you're going to play any game well, first of all you need to learn to run.

If you don't pay attention, you're going to get hurt.

Always assume the gun is loaded.

We had just won a basketball game, and the roar of the crowd was still ringing in my ears. The coach looked at me and said, "You know, if you had missed the shot, they all would have thought you were a bum." Good advice. I never forgot it.

— John Lally

To break in your baseball glove, rub it with a neat's-foot oil, put a ball in the pocket, and wrap twine around the glove. Sleep with it under your pillow every night for two weeks.

Reef your sail when you first think of it.

On the water (in boats), things go wrong very quickly.

I picked this up from an old baseball coach: Don't throw the ball more than you need to. The more often you throw it, the more often someone has to catch it, increasing the chance of errors at either end. This is more than just baseball wisdom; it applies to everything that a person can do. In any project, you can minimize mistakes by eliminating unnecessary actions.

— Geoff Fuller

CHAPTER 7

WOMEN, WIVES, AND FAMILY

If you can't bring her home in the daylight, don't take her out at night.

If you want to win the daughter, start with the mother.

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in bed.

Never marry a woman with a weak father.

Marriage is a 70/30 proposition. Expect to give 70 percent to get 30 percent.

It doesn't help you if her half of the boat sinks.

Women on the Internet are quite often not like women in real life.

Family members are responsible for each other: look out for your little brother; look out for your little sister.

Never let anyone say anything bad about your mother.

The biggest thing a man learns from children is patience.

CHAPTER 8

COOKING AND DRINKING

Learn to cook: for yourself, for your family, for your friends. There are plenty of books that will tell you everything you need to know, and there's a recipe for everything on the Internet.

You can't have too much garlic.

Never tell anyone what you put into your sausage.

When boiling vegetables, things that grow above the ground go into water after it begins to boil. Things that grow below the ground go into the pot when the water is cold.

Never buy good bread already sliced.

The worst homemade biscuit is better than the best store-bought biscuit.

One should be able to see the back of the refrigerator when one opens the door.

Helping the cook is a way of showing love, and it doesn't hurt when it comes to seconds.

Stir from the bottom up.

A glutton digs his own grave with his own teeth.

Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry.

Always eat your steaks rare, drink your whiskey straight, and never put sugar in your iced tea, unless you're from the South.

The smallest peppers are the hottest.

If you put yellow mustard on a pretzel, it tastes exactly like ballpark hot dogs. This makes a good bar bet.

If you can't do it when you're sober, don't say it when you're drunk.

Never drink if you've got work to do.

Never drink when you're alone.

Never drink while the sun is shining.

CHAPTER 9

DRESS

Always buy silk neckties and don't worry if when you wear them they're slightly wrinkled. A tie that is perfectly flat is almost always made out of something that is not silk. Also, never have your ties dry- cleaned; they come back perfectly flat.

A winter coat unbuttoned is no coat at all.

When you're dressed up, always carry a handkerchief even if you don't see anyone doing it anymore. They come in handy more often than you might suppose. You can find them at better men's clothing stores. You won't believe how this will impress a woman.

Wear the same type (but not as expensive) of clothes as your boss. Unless your boss is a woman.

If you're buying shoes or clothing off the Internet, make sure there's a good return policy.

Pack light; travel light.

CHAPTER 10

FIGHTING

If someone wants to fight you, never step outside. Do your fighting right where you are.

Never get into a fight with a man who has nothing to lose.

Never hit anyone with your hand. Hit him with something, the heavier the better.

If it looks like you're going to have trouble or a fight and you can't get out of it, better to go at it right now.

If a fight looks inevitable, throw the first punch. The first punch is quite often the last.

All bullies are cowards, and most cowards are bullies.

Keep punching.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from From Father To Son by Allen Appel. Copyright © 2017 Allen Appel. Excerpted by permission of St. Martin's Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Title Page,
Copyright Notice,
Dedication,
Introduction,
Work,
Cars,
Tools, Wood-Working, and Repairs,
Manners and Deportment,
Money,
Sport,
Women, Wives, and Family,
Cooking and Drinking,
Dress,
Fighting,
Military,
Advice,
Truth,
Life,
Acknowledgments,
About the Author,
Copyright,