Friendkeeping: A Field Guide to the People You Love, Hate, and Can't Live Without

by Julie Klam

Overview

Look out for Julie's new book, The Almost Legendary Morris Sisters.

From the beloved and bestselling memoirist comes a funny and affecting look at making the most of our friendships in an age of isolation.

With her inimitable wit and disarming warmth, Julie Klam shares with us her experiences, advice, and insight in Friendkeeping, a candid, hilarious look at some of the most meaningful and enjoyable relationships in our lives: our friendships.

After her bestselling You Had Me at Woof, about relationships with dogs, Klam now turns her attention to human relationships to great effect. She examines everything—from the curious world of online friendship to the intersection of friendship and motherhood. She even explores how to hang on to our friendships in the toughest circumstances: when schadenfreude rears its ugly head or when we don’t like our friend’s mate.

Klam relays a mix of brand-new and time-tested wisdom—she finds that longtime friends really can grow up without growing apart; that communication is key; that friendship is one of life’s great, free sources of happiness; that you’re not a friend, just a doormat, if you don’t get back what you give—and her discoveries range from amusing to deeply important.

Charming, bracingly honest, and compulsively readable, Friendkeeping is an irresistible book, a treat that you’ll want to share with your best friends right away. Brimming with keen observations and laugh-out-loud moments, it’s delivered in the lively, accessible voice that Julie Klam’s readers have come to know and love.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781101597019
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	10/25/2012
Sold by:	Penguin Group
Format:	eBook
Pages:	240
File size:	688 KB
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Julie Klam grew up in Bedford, New York. She has written for such publications as O: The Oprah Magazine, Rolling Stone, Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and The New York Times Magazine, and for the VH1 television show Pop-Up Video, where she earned an Emmy nomination. She lives in New York City.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 I've Got a Secret 11

2 Through Sick and Thin 25

3 Missed Connections 41

4 Thanks, But I'm Fine... Really 57

5 My Friends has Gone Nuts 71

6 Three's Company 85

7 From @Friends to IRL 97

8 Sisters (and Brothers) from Other Mothers 113

9 The Call of Duty 123

10 Don't Be a Drain 137

11 Rules of War 147

12 When the Dog Bites, When the Bee Stings 159

13 You Hate My Husband / I Hate Your Wife 169

14 Thanks, I Needed that 179

15 Absence Makes the Heart Work Harder 195

16 You've Got to Have Friends 213

Acknowledgments 223

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“[Klam’s] smartest book yet…amusing, poignant…a rollicking must-read.”
—People

“The book you will want to give all your best friends, not as a nudge-nudge, hint-hint reminder of what it takes to be a good friend, but rather as a celebration of just how great friends can be. And if they (or you) pick up a few hints on how to be a good friend, so much the better for everyone. We all need reminding once in awhile that connection takes more than just showing up for drinks or a walk — and Klam offers the reminders with her usual big heart, goofy humor, and open admissions.”
— The Huffington Post

“[Klam is] taking seriously something, namely adult friendships, that often turns into the wallpaper of cultural life: something that's there, and that's lovely, and that ideally you don't have to think about, but not something that you would delve into deeply.”
—NPR.org

“A smart read… with incisive one-liners and self-deprecating humor… Klam's warmth and wit is enough to keep this book light and engaging.”—USA Today

“Klam addresses real relationships and the raw problems of human life... [and] shares her personal, honest, funny, and poignant friend experiences”
—The Atlantic Wire

“A jolly, largehearted book…Julie Klam makes no claim to being a fancy expert. She has lived her expertise. Her own life is her source of knowledge… charming, nostalgic, informative.”
—The Washington Post

“These pages are strewn with nuggets of wisdom and witticism…[a] warm hearted book.”
—Dayton Daily News

“Klam's voice is often flat-out hilarious… [she] never fails to come up with terrific comic vignettes and sharp one-liners… highly entertaining.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Klam is funny. Not cute or amusing, but laugh-out-loud, borderline too-much-information funny… With Friendkeeping, Klam proves that she is no one-trick pony.”
—BookPage

“Julie Klam is one funny writer.”
—David Rakoff, author of Don’t Get Too Comfortable and Fraud

Editorial Reviews

[Klam’s] smartest book yet…amusing, poignant…a rollicking must-read.”
—People

“The book you will want to give all your best friends, not as a nudge-nudge, hint-hint reminder of what it takes to be a good friend, but rather as a celebration of just how great friends can be. And if they (or you) pick up a few hints on how to be a good friend, so much the better for everyone. We all need reminding once in awhile that connection takes more than just showing up for drinks or a walk — and Klam offers the reminders with her usual big heart, goofy humor, and open admissions.”
— The Huffington Post

“[Klam is] taking seriously something, namely adult friendships, that often turns into the wallpaper of cultural life: something that's there, and that's lovely, and that ideally you don't have to think about, but not something that you would delve into deeply.”
—NPR.org

“A smart read… with incisive one-liners and self-deprecating humor… Klam's warmth and wit is enough to keep this book light and engaging.”
—USA Today

“Klam addresses real relationships and the raw problems of human life... [and] shares her personal, honest, funny, and poignant friend experiences”
—The Atlantic Wire

“A jolly, largehearted book…Julie Klam makes no claim to being a fancy expert. She has lived her expertise. Her own life is her source of knowledge… charming, nostalgic, informative.”
—The Washington Post

“These pages are strewn with nuggets of wisdom and witticism…[a] warm hearted book.”
—Dayton Daily News

“Klam's voice is often flat-out hilarious… [she] never fails to come up with terrific comic vignettes and sharp one-liners… highly entertaining.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Klam is funny. Not cute or amusing, but laugh-out-loud, borderline too-much-information funny… With Friendkeeping, Klam proves that she is no one-trick pony.”
—BookPage

“Julie Klam is one funny writer.”

—David Rakoff, author of Don’t Get Too Comfortable and Fraud

From the Publisher

Klam (Love at First Bark) calls friends the "comfort food" of life. With her characteristic self-deprecating wit, she shares stories of her own attempts at befriending, from the insecurity-driven missteps of childhood to the competition-based conflicts in early adulthood and the satisfying long-distance relationships of midlife. Klam has an admitted affinity for eccentric types, and her anecdotes are as amusing as they are insightful. In recounting her own experiences, she demonstrates the importance of overcoming such common friendship hurdles as time constraints, envy, illness, and "unfortunate" partners. She explains how and when to let go with grace. Klam, like Ellen Goodman (I Know Just What You Mean: The Power of Friendship in Women's Lives), sends a poignant and powerful message to women: don't take your friends for granted, and nurture and preserve the friendships you treasure. VERDICT Friendship is a universally appealing theme for women, and this entertaining book will strike responsive chords with women of all ages. Recommended.—Linda F. Petty, Wimberley, TX

Library Journal

Zealous, funny and rambling accounts of a New York writer's many friendships. Klam (Love at First Bark: How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself, 2011, etc.) describes herself on the first page as "a middle-aged person who uses the term 'BFF' without irony." Her meandering text goes on to describe the multiple varieties of her friendships, starting in childhood. The cast of regulars features Barbara, a friend from fifth grade; Jancee, a fellow writer she met on a hayride in the '90s; and Ann and Laura, co-hosts with Klam of an NPR radio show. The list of friends goes on and on and on; the good news is that it's not hard to see why. While there's nothing particularly compelling here, Klam's voice is often flat-out hilarious. She retains the dry, self-deprecating tone of fellow conversational memoirist Jen Lancaster, and no matter how stale or hackneyed the subject, Klam never fails to come up with terrific comic vignettes and sharp one-liners. Her witticisms mostly compensate for such occasional platitudes as, "Friendship might be free, but it requires a real, solid investment." The book is organized by subject, with chapter titles like "You Hate My Husband/I Hate Your Wife" and "Don't Be a Drain." Within these categories, Klam offers advice on how to manage platonic relationships, but she avoids being preachy by sticking mainly to her own life. Threaded through the chapters are observations about her daughter and the myriad ways in which having a child has affected, even enhanced, Klam's social life. Somewhat glib but highly entertaining.

Kirkus Reviews