Father-ish: Laugh-Out-Loud Tales From a Dad Trying Not to Ruin His Kids' Lives

by Clint Edwards

Overview

Father·ish: adjective. When a man is trying his best.

Clint Edwards equates fatherhood to the time he did an important live TV interview from home: To the viewers, he looked put-together in a nice button-up shirt . . . but below the camera he wasn’t wearing any pants. And it may have looked like he was in a nice office, but he was in fact hidden in his bedroom closet because his whole house was too messy to show.

This highly relatable collection gets to the heart of parenting: all those unexpected fails, awkward conversations, and well-intentioned little white lies. Clint chronicles all these things and more with stories like “The Time My Son Realized I Was Santa,” “I’ve Never Been to Hell, but I Have Been to a Little Girl’s Birthday Party,” and “How to Get the Sex Talk Very, Very Wrong.” And with each story you’ll see over and over again that there really aren’t any rules when it comes to parenting, and all you can do is try your best.

Whether you’re a first-time parent unaware of what you’ve gotten yourself into yet, or a father of five, clinging to your last ounce of sanity, you’ll find relief in knowing that at end of the day, we’re all not wearing any pants.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781645671473
Publisher:	Page Street Publishing
Publication date:	10/20/2020
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	272
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Clint Edwards is the author of I’m Sorry . . . Love, Your Husband and Silence is a Scary Sound and the creator of No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog. Clint’s writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, People, and more. He has also appeared on the TODAY show and Good Morning America. Clint, his wife, and their three kids live in Lebanon, Oregon.

Table of Contents

I Kinda Suck at This … 13

Special Occasion Fails

When Santa Threatened My Children 22

My Children Will Probably Chat with a Therapist About That Time We Built a Gingerbread House 38

Lies I've Told My Children about Elf on the Shelf 49

The Time My Son Realized I Was Santa 53

You Can't Force a Tradition 65

When the Kids Have a Snow Day, You Can Bet I'll Be Doing Something Stupid 76

I'm as Surprised as My Children by What I Got Them for Christmas 82

Sometimes on New Year's Eve, You Find Poop in Your Hallway 94

Holiday Pro-Tips 106

You Haven't MacGyvered Until Your Child Craps Their Pants in a Corn Maze 111

I've Never Been to Hell, but I Have Been to a Little Girl's Birthday Party 123

Reasons My Children Have Cried at Their Own Birthday Parties 139

The Day We Caught Our Kids Looking at Their Buttholes 144

My Son Paid Off His Debt with Birthday Money. I'd Never Been Prouder. He'd Never Been More Disappointed. 155

Everyday Fails

I Handled My Daughter's First Crush Horribly 166

When the Parents Are Sick and the Kids Are Well, It's Every Child for Themselves 179

Kids! Stop Being Gross. 189

My Use of Slang Is Embarrassing 199

The Interrogation 204

I Talked to My Daughter about Body Image, and Oh Man … I Blew It! 212

Get This … He Was Actually Listening the Whole Time! 219

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad 226

Crazy Things My Children Have Said to God 245

How to Get the Sex Talk Very, Very Wrong 249

More Lies I've Told My Children 259

Listen, Son … We Serve People We Love 263

Acknowledgments 269

About the Author 271

Editorial Reviews

Have the tissues handy because the tears of laughter won’t stop. Father-ish is a hilarious, heartwarming must-read.”
—Rita Templeton, Deputy Editor at Scary Mommy

“Parents at all stages of kid-wrangling will appreciate the comic relief and honesty in Clint’s storytelling.”
—Annie Reneau, Associate Editor at Upworthy

“From performing the Heimlich on his dog, to doling out lies about Santa and Elf on the Shelf, Clint expertly navigates the headaches of parenting.”
—Stephanie Jankowski, author of Schooled

“I think [Clint] is hilarious!”
—Kelly Clarkson

“A delightful, engaging and illustrative read, Clint’s essays in Fatherish are humorous, emotional, and relatable placing the reader in a scene with exceptional details and storytelling. Fatherish brilliantly captures the universal experiences dads (parents) can relate to, and as a bonus, the needed stress relief capturing modern life and parenting.”
—Dr. Claire Nicogossian, author of Mama, You Are Enough

"Father-ish is perfect for the dad who likes humor and memoirs with a dash of wisdom on the side."
—Country Living

From the Publisher