Read an Excerpt
Elf-help for Healing from Divorce
By Kathryn Lankston, R. W. Alley Abbey Press
Copyright © 2001 Kathryn Lankston
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4976-7864-4
CHAPTER 1
1.
Respect yourself. You are a capable person who is facing difficult decisions and emotions. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and smile with gentle admiration and honest encouragement.
2.
Don't be ashamed. The experience of divorce does not make you a second-class citizen. Your dreams for yourself are always worthwhile—yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
3.
Consult the professionals you need. There are men and women especially trained in the emotional complexities and legal details of divorce. Talk with these people to determine who best can offer what you need during this time.
4.
Feel God's love and grace. As Max Ehrmann notes in the "Desiderata": "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars."
5.
Don't belabor your friends with details or demand their advice. Let your friends support you—but do not expect them to be your therapist, lawyer, or spiritual advisor.
6.
Continue to do the good things for yourself you've always done. You may want to make a list of the self-care things you do—and be sure you do at least one each day.
7.
Grieve. The experience of loss is not limited to physical death. You are facing the death of dreams you once held dear. Respect that fact and grieve that loss.
8.
Don't consider yourself a "failure." The feelings of pain and loss do not mean you have "failed." Rather, you chose love, day after day and through the years—and one who chooses to love is not a failure.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Elf-help for Healing from Divorce by Kathryn Lankston, R. W. Alley. Copyright © 2001 Kathryn Lankston. Excerpted by permission of Abbey Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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