Ego: Get over yourself and lead

by Mary Gregory

Overview

Ego manifests in many forms and can compromise our ability to fully engage with others. In order to build trusting relationships, today’s leaders need to understand how to manage their own egos, as well as others’. Equipped with these skills, leaders can encourage people to feel engaged and empowered while unlocking innovation and creating positive working environments.

This book is packed with insightful leadership stories, useful psychological models and reflective activities and exercises to enable leaders to better understand themselves and the different dynamics at play in their relationships, allowing them to effectively manage the many challenges faced in today’s workplace.

This book will help you:

• Understand your ego and how it does and doesn’t serve you
• Navigate tricky relationship dynamics and create greater levels of engagement
• Develop strategies for transcending unhelpful ego reactions and behaviour
• Enable greater levels of psychological safety in your workplace
• Be a leader who creates a culture that empowers others to perform at their best

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781781334355
Publisher:	Rethink Press
Publication date:	05/30/2020
Pages:	232
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.49(d)

About the Author

Mary Gregory is a sought-after international leadership consultant. She has led change for large organisations including First Choice Holidays, O2, Ralph Lauren and Tesco. A trusted coach to senior executives, she also designs and delivers large-scale leadership programmes. Mary has learned, both from her own experiences and those of her clients, how our egos impact the results we achieve. She is committed to empowering leaders in creating high performing workplaces where people thrive.

Table of Contents

Introduction

1 What Is Ego?

What’s behind our emotional reactions?

What do I mean by ego?

How ego does and doesn’t serve us

Learning to manage ego takes time

Summary

2 The Leader’s Dilemma

Focus on task over behaviour

The organisational terrain today

Leadership is primarily about relationships

The need for greater flexibility

Summary

3 Leading Others Means Leading Yourself First

Leadership influence

Look inside yourself

Summary

4 Taking Ourselves On

Stop running on automatic pilot

Becoming more conscious is a choice

Revel in stepping out of your comfort zone

Recognising our internal imposter

Engage with failure as an opportunity to learn

Summary

5 Frameworks For Understanding Ourselves

Who’s OK?

The roles our ego can take

How to navigate the different egos

How our ego states can contaminate our thinking

Summary

6 Dynamics Of Our Relationships With Others

Interpersonal transactions

Psychological games

How to spot a game

Addressing games

Summary

7 Developing Our Adult Ego

Why is an adult approach effective?

Build a strong personal foundation

Self-awareness and self-belief

Summary

8 Building Integrity

Redefining integrity

Why integrity is important when navigating egos

How to restore integrity

Summary

9 Conscious Conversations That Matter

Contracting conversations

The different levels a contracting conversation addresses

The three Cs of contracting

Summary

10 How A Coaching Approach Can Help

Growing with your role

Using coaching to enable others

What coaching is and isn’t

One helpful mindset and two valuable skills

A strategic approach to self

Summary

11 Navigating Ego To Enable Culture Change

How ego affects an organisation’s culture

Trickiness of shifting culture

The games that go on

Making culture change happen

Ongoing development over a period of time

Summary

Conclusion

References

Acknowledgements

The Author

Editorial Reviews

A brilliantly crafted piece enabling today's leaders not only to understand the role their ego plays in being highly eff­ective, but also how, if misunderstood, it can have the opposite eff­ect.”

Niall O’Connor, Group Managing Director, Aldi

‘A compelling read for any leader with responsibility for a team, ego can so easily get in the way of authentic leadership. Mary peels back the subject of our ego and how it’s formed in a beautifully descriptive way and provides a deep insight for the reader to examine their own challenges with ego, acknowledge it and ditch it!’
Craig McMurrough, Associate Partner, People and Culture Lead, Consulting and Innovation, Capita

‘This book takes us on a journey of discovery - about ourselves, our strengths and of course our weaknesses. Never judgemental, it holds a mirror up and teaches us the skills to enable us to identify these for ourselves. Using a “reality check” example in each chapter, we see how real life encounters are matched to the theory, enabling us to gain an understanding of what kind of leaders we truly are. The exercises allow us to signpost potential blindspots and reflect on how these can be managed.’
Niall O’Connor, Group Managing Director, Aldi

‘A wonderfully useful whistle-stop tour to help “you” get out of the way of your ability to lead. Options you can play with to ensure you distinguish between your ego and your vision. Highly recommended to anyone getting frustrated with others in trying to achieve their goals.’
Elva Ainsworth, Founder and CEO, Talent Innovations

‘A refreshingly accessible read, full of insights and exercises that both re-frames the concept of ego, and re-tools us accordingly.’
Penny De Valk, Leadership Coach and Mentor

‘If you want to lead high-performing teams, you need to notice yourself and the impact that you have on others. On that journey, this book is a must read. Mary blends theory, real-world examples and practical points of reflection to raise awareness of ego: yours and that of the people that you lead.
It will help you to understand your ego and how you react. To be more aware of others’ egos, and how to adapt your approach to their needs. Working with Mary helped me to understand myself better, and to build authentic relationships with colleagues.
Mary has captured the essence of that coaching in this excellent book.’
Ed Garcez, Chief Digital and Information Officer (London Borough of Camden)

From the Publisher