Eff This! Meditation: 108 Tips, Tricks, and Ideas for When You're Feeling Anxious, Stressed Out, or Overwhelmed
144
Eff This! Meditation: 108 Tips, Tricks, and Ideas for When You're Feeling Anxious, Stressed Out, or Overwhelmed
144Hardcover
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Overview
- Read it all the way through
- Flip through and mark what seems interesting
- Try all of the techniques, one by one
- Grab the book in a panic and thumb through until something sticks out
- Open the book to a random page and do that thing
- However the eff you want; it’s your book now
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781631066368 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Rock Point |
| Publication date: | 10/22/2019 |
| Series: | Live Well Series , #10 |
| Pages: | 144 |
| Sales rank: | 1,076,370 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.85(w) x 8.15(h) x 0.75(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
One-Minute Practices
Sometimes we literally only have a minute. That's okay! Just sixty seconds, when spent with intention, can ground us, bring us back into connection with our body, reset our point of view, or put us back in touch with what matters most.
Many of these practices can be done privately, even when we're with other people. Try as many of these as you can, and keep the ones that help you the most in your proverbial back pocket. Whether you're standing in line, sitting in a stressful meeting, or spinning out with anxious thoughts, these practices offer a quick reset when you need it most.
There will always be times when you "need a minute," and this section offers a variety of ways in which you can take that quick time out.
#001
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Inbreath < outbreath
This is as close as it gets to a magic trick.
If you remember just one thing from this book, let it be this: our breath is the only system in our bodies that we can either control or not, and we can take over direct control of our nervous system by making conscious choices about how we breathe.
When we choose to make our outbreath even slightly longer than our inbreath, we are sending a direct message of relaxation to our brain.
Think of when we are panicking: we sip or gasp in lots of air, which prepares us for fight-or-flight mode. Focusing on a longer exhale tells our autonomous nervous system that it can stand down instead. It also clears out the lungs and prepares us to receive more fresh oxygen.
You can do this anytime, anywhere. Just take a few (preferably deep) breaths, where you count your inbreath and give your outbreath a count of a couple more.
That's it. You just lowered your own heart rate a bit.
#002
TIME: 1 MINUTE
See-hear-feel
A.K.A. 3-3-3
This is a quick trick to connect you to the present moment. Take a deep breath and just notice:
* Three things you see;
* three things you hear;
* three things you feel.
Feelings can be physical, emotional, or energetic. Take a deep breath and re-engage, more fully present.
Helpful Tip
Try to do this without judgement, of yourself or your surroundings. Don't rush through this. Really noticing what's happening is how this works.
003
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Add a sprinkle of the good
Find something wonderful about yourself, and pay yourself the compliment (in your mind, or even better, out loud!). If someone else is making you crazy, find something genuinely favorable to like about them, too. (You can do this, I promise.)
This isn't trying to cancel out or ignore anything difficult. It's just making a little room for what's good, too. When we make room for what's good, it expands our awareness of the possibilities for more good. Countless scientific studies have shown that positive thinking creates more positive thinking through the creation of new neural pathways. We're not trying to completely rewire our brains in a day, just to think (or say, or write) something nice.
Helpful Tip
Find yourself having trouble thinking nice thoughts about yourself? Start a note where you jot down the compliments that other people give you. Add to the list whenever you get new compliments and refer back to it often — daily is best.
#004
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Positive affirmations
People sometimes make fun of these, but the reason they persist is that they work.
Leave friendly notes for yourself or look in the mirror and say a few loving things. You don't have to believe these things; the more you repeat them to yourself, the truer they will feel.
Try sticking with one or two affirmations for a while; they get more powerful through repetition. Write them down, memorize them, and recite them out loud many times a day. Repeat them silently to yourself during stressful moments. These are your words, and they are powerful.
Helpful Tip
If you're having trouble thinking of a mantra, try something like this: I am healthy and happy. Or, I am confident and strong, with an open heart and a great sense of humor. I am brimming with confidence and move through the world with ease. I have everything I need, and plenty to share.
#005
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Name to tame
Acknowledging something (and naming it) is a big first step toward taming it. Take a deep breath, feel what you are really feeling, and name it.
"Oh, hi, sadness. I see you are here right now."
This isn't welcoming in new things or creating problems, and it's certainly not about beating yourself up about having anxiety, or sadness, or anger, or whatever else you are experiencing. It's about being clear with yourself about your present-moment experience. This allows you to spend your energy dealing with what is.
It can be scary to acknowledge what we are feeling because it seems like that might make the emotions "real." The truth is, though, that whatever we are feeling is already real, and admitting these emotions exist begins to take their power away. Rather than enabling feelings to get entrenched, naming them lets them start to move through us; it actually reduces their intensity.
This is an especially good practice for when you feel all mixed up or are acting a certain way but don't know why. We're not trying to change anything; we're just saying hi.
Helpful Tip
You can even invite the emotions to leave if you want to: "I acknowledge that you came for a visit, anxiety. I see that you are here right now. But I don't need you right now, and so I invite you to leave."
#006
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Message in a bottle
Reach out to someone you haven't seen in ages. Texting/messaging, cards, emails, e-cards, etc. are all fair game — the goal here is to send genuine warm wishes out into the ether. Pay a compliment or let the person you are reaching out to know why they are meaningful to you.
This is asynchronous communication — you'll send messages out, and they may or may not be returned. That part doesn't matter; the goal is to put some good out there into the world.
#007
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Get some affection
Human touch can be a salve to the soul.
If it makes sense, ask someone close to you for a hug. If it doesn't, hug yourself! It releases the same bonding hormone, oxytocin, that you would experience if someone else was hugging you. Give yourself (or someone else) a big squeeze.
Or if you prefer, you can give yourself a moment of affection, such as a gentle hand and wrist massage. This can even be done in the middle of a meeting or class; it will calm you down and help bring yourself back into your own body.
#008
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Hand over heart
Put your hand over your heart, close your eyes, and take ten very slow, very deep breaths. Notice how it feels.
Doing this can connect you to your body, it can help to connect you to the emotions you are experiencing, and it can remind you of the power of your physical heart.
The heart has a really strong electromagnetic field (its electrical activity is what an electrocardiogram measures) and because it often works the way it's supposed to, we tend to forget about the incredible amount of energy and life force it is constantly creating for us.
By putting our hands near its energy field and closing our eyes, we can tune in to our hearts in a really powerful way.
Helpful Tip
Many ancient traditions believe that the heart chakra is where empathy, love, warmth, and compassion emanate from. What do you feel when you tune in?
#009
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Stranger flings
Say something (genuinely) kind to a stranger. Expect nothing in return, not even acknowledgement. See how it makes you feel.
Repeat this as often as possible.
Helpful Tip
It should go without saying, but remember not to be a creep. There's no need to comment on anyone's body, for instance. Stick with things that they chose — like footwear, or kindness.
#010
TIME: 1 minute
Smile
Even if you don't "mean it," the physical act of smiling releases dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, which improve our mood and lower our blood pressure. (Smiling also makes us objectively more approachable and attractive.)
Go into a private room, set a timer for sixty seconds and just … smile. At the beginning and end of your smile minute, notice how you feel.
#011
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Forgive someone
When you find yourself replaying a scenario over and over in your head, you may find it extremely valuable to forgive the person who wronged you (even and especially if that person is you). Visualize the person and repeat: "I forgive you," "I forgive you," "I forgive you."
Even if you don't feel the forgiveness, the suggestion that it's possible can start to do the work.
Repeat as often as needed.
Say the words out loud. Verbalizing can be extremely powerful because when we hear the words out loud, we begin to believe that they are true.
#012
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Have a good stretch
Stop, take a few deep breaths, and give yourself a good long stretch.
Try counteracting whatever weird, contorted body position you've been in. Many of us spend a lot of time hunched over desks or computers, so chest-opening stretches feel great; wrist massages can also be sublime.
Find what feels good to you.
#013
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Set intentions for the day
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and think about how you want to be in the world today.
Set an intention around this. It could be something like "Stay present," "Practice kindness," or "Do no harm, but take no shit."
There are no wrong answers; this is about connecting to what feels right to you. Repeat the intention to yourself a few times, really focusing on the words. Take another deep breath, open your eyes, and go about your life with a renewed connection to who you want to be.
This is a particularly effective activity to do when you first wake up in the morning, before getting out of bed or beginning the day.
For inspiration, here are some of my own recent daily intentions:
[] I am present and open to the flow. I feel loved.
[] Relax. Have fun. Be love.
[] I am fully present in my body, open to the flow, and exuding loving gentleness.
[] Today I choose grace and love.
#014
TIME: 1 MINUTE
In: nose Out: mouth
Taking a brief moment to focus on the physical sensations of your breath can be a great way to both reduce heart rate and help you feel more grounded in your own body.
Find a quiet spot if possible, close your eyes, and breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose. Notice the feeling of the air as it passes through your nostrils: the temperature, the taste, and the texture of it. Notice your chest or your stomach rising up as you fill yourself with fresh oxygen. Can you hear yourself breathing?
As you exhale through your mouth, slowly and deeply, notice how your body contracts. Pay attention to whether the qualities of the air moving past your lips are the same, or different, from the air as it came in. Notice again the temperature, taste, and texture of the breath. Exhale slowly and for a long time, until your lungs are emptied out. Pause when it feels natural.
Repeat several times. Go back to breathing normally again, knowing that you can revisit conscious breathing at any time.
Helpful Tips
If you can't find a private spot, it's easy to do this one without anyone else knowing it — you can just zone out into your own space.
Stuffed up or not able to breathe through your nose? This exercise works fine if you're breathing through your mouth on both steps.
#015
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Self-commitment appointment
Don't have the time you'd like to devote to yourself right now? Make a self-commitment appointment!
Take one minute right now to commit yourself to a future block of time when you will do nothing but take care of yourself (your future appointment could be for an hour, an afternoon, or a full day; whatever you can make happen).
Get it on your calendar, block it off, and protect it like the precious and important resource that it is. When the occasion comes, you will spend that time doing whatever it is that your body or soul needs in that moment. (Flip through this book for ideas to get you started.)
Self-care is so easy to shove off when more urgent-seeming things come up—but nothing is more important than taking good care of yourself.
#016
TIME: 1 MINUTE
3 + h20
Take three deep, long, beautiful breaths — and then drink a glass of water.
This can be done anytime, anywhere. Don't look at a screen while you do it; close your eyes or look outside. The key is to disconnect from what's outside of your body so that you can reconnect to your most basic physical needs: water and air.
So often we hold our breath without knowing it (lots of people do this while checking email or scrolling through social media), and many of us also unwittingly clench our jaws. Many people also walk through life in a dehydrated state.
So, unclench, breathe deep, and give the 60 percent or so of your body that is water a little boost.
Repeat as often as needed.
#017
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Feel your feet
I use this super-fast grounding practice a lot:
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and feel your feet. Wiggle your toes and maybe rock back and forth on your heels, whatever small movements feel right for you. Then be still and concentrate completely on the feeling of the bottom of your feet touching your shoes or the ground. Breathe slowly and focus on the sensation of the soles of your feet connecting to what's beneath them.
Take another deep breath and return to what's in front of you.
Helpful Tips
If you're sitting, do the same thing while focusing on your bum; if you're lying down, you can repeat this for the part of your body that is being supported. If you're outside, do this barefoot.
This practice is great to do in public; no one will know what you're doing. I especially like this one while I'm stressing out standing in line.
#018
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Three things list
Just for today, throw out your overwhelming to-do list and pick the three absolutely most crucial things that must get done. For the rest of the day, only concentrate on those three important things. Everything else can wait! We know this, because none of those made the list as one of the most important things for today.
Make sure they are three things that you can realistically do in one Day — realistically, I said. If you can't, break them down into smaller and smaller steps until you have three important things that you can definitely get done. Don't set yourself up to fail, set yourself up to succeed!
#019
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Bye-bye nonsense
Permanently delete something off of your to-do list.
This isn't punting something until a later date that will likely never come, it's giving yourself permission to let it go completely. Maybe the grout will never get cleaned. Maybe that book will go unread. Maybe holiday cards don't get sent this year.
Chances are, that thing wasn't going to happen anyways, and this practice is about absolving you of feeling guilt; it's a conscious practice in letting go. If you keep saying "I should" about something, that's probably a good thing to get rid of. Practice saying "No."
#020
TIME: 1 MINUTE
Practice saying "No."
"No," as the saying goes, is a complete sentence.
But so often we obscure it with apologies and try to bury it in explanations and excuses and caveats. We walk it back and pretty it up and take the power out of it.
Today, with no apology or explanation, when you mean no ... just say "No."
#021
TIME: 1 MINUTE
5-7-8 breaths
Find a quiet place, if possible. Take a deep breath, and as you inhale, slowly count to five. Hold your breath to the count of seven. As you begin to slowly exhale, start counting and make the exhale last until you count to eight.
Repeat several times, if possible.
This practice connects you to your body, slows down your breathing, and brings your focus inward. It is also a great exercise to do around other people, as no one has to know you are doing it.
Helpful Tip
If it seems interesting, you can work your way up to 8-16-32 counts.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Eff This! Meditation"
by .
Copyright © 2019 Liza Kindred.
Excerpted by permission of The Quarto Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.