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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781491833285 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 12/10/2013 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 36 |
| File size: | 8 MB |
Read an Excerpt
DRIVING IS JUST LIKE WATCHING TELEVISION
Everyone Should Enjoy Driving!
By Fred H. Alexander Jr.
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2013 Fred H. Alexander Jr.All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4918-3327-8
CHAPTER 1
If you are a driver who gets nervous in traffic, a driver who is always in a hurry, a driver who easily gets upset with other drivers, a driver who hates the slower speed limits in construction zones, a driver who wishes the large semi-trucks were not on the same highways with you, or a driver who many times gets lost, this presentation will change your view of driving.
If you enjoy watching TV, cable, satellite, videos, DVDs, or go to the movies, after reading this booklet, you will have an improved and safer taste for driving. Your driving concept will change from "Watch out for the other guy," to "Watch the enjoyable shows with other viewing drivers." With the right attitude, you should be able to give a smile, a nod, or a wave to other drivers, and continue enjoying your drive. Everyone should enjoy driving.
Channels descriptions and foundation:
There are a variety of TV channels. ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, TNT, ESPN, and many others are watchable channels. There are a variety of driving channels. The expressways, the interstate highways, the two-lane U.S. highways, the country roads (paved and dirt), the city streets, and the off-road trails are also figuratively watchable channels. The variety of both TV channels and driving channels are limitless.
A major factor for properly enjoying a good television show is to have a good working TV set; a TV set which shows all channels clearly. A good working TV set is a parallel to a good working vehicle which can pass all safety checks and inspections. A good working vehicle makes the travelling channels as clear as the clearness of good TV channels.
An excellent TV watcher does not miss a single minute of a favorite show. A good watcher misses nothing, and can anticipate the individual responses of the audience. If the good driver is as good at driving (as good at watching the road situations) as the good TV watcher is at watching TV, the result should be fewer accidents and lower insurance rates due to a heightened sense of anticipation and improved safety. The good driver watcher is aware of every single minute of driving.
Drivers' Education and good driving instructions are the foundations for surfing the channels. The instructors teach how to safely negotiate the channels on which to drive. Instructors teach how fast to watch the screen at the speeds the roadway producers have set. Normal U.S. posted channel speeds vary in increments of five up to 80 miles per hour (mph). Your idea of how long to watch a show depends upon the speed in which you are watching. The variety of TV channels and the variety of driving channels are enjoyable.
Map and T.V. Guide comparison:
A map can be used like a TV Guide. Both have numbers. Both have times. Both have distances. Both have locations. The TV Guide numbers are channels; the map numbers are highways or channels. The TV Guide schedule tells how long it takes to watch a show; the map tells how long it takes to complete a watched show. The TV Guide tells how far one show (destination) is from another; the map tells how far one destination is from another. Both the TV Guide and the map tell where to stop to see what you want. Using this principle, if the driver can use a T.V. Guide, the driver should be able to use a map.
Comfortableness of the watchers:
The comfortableness importance of buying our automobiles, SUVs, pickups, cars, motorcycles, and other vehicles is similar to the comfortableness of buying our TVs. The names RCA, Zenith, Motorola, Toshiba, Sony, Panasonic, Samsung, and others are important to us when buying TVs. The names General Motors, Ford, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, and many other auto manufacturers are important when buying vehicles. Both televisions and vehicles have warranties relevant to their uses. The common importance of comfortableness for both TVs and vehicles is how the products handle negotiating the channels (broadcasts and roadways respectively), and how long the products are expected to last.
Just as televisions and television technologies have timers to set and reset programs and then shut off, many vehicles now have timers on exterior and interior lights, remote control starters, relocking if the remote button is hit by accident, and all kinds of accessories for setting and resetting situations. The timers enhance the comfortableness of the watchers or drivers.
To a degree, watching depends upon the comfortableness of the watchers' seating arrangements. In houses, the watchers have lounge chairs, beds, couches, and special personalized chairs. In today's automobiles, watching drivers have seats which are programmable, heated, reclining, raised or lowered, movable forward or backwards, made of specialized materials (leather, camel's hair, and other materials.), all to enhance the seating comfortableness of the driving watcher.
For comfortableness, when the TV watcher gets ready to watch a favorite show, he or she makes sure everything is in place: snacks, drinks, the remote, the telephone, open windows and skylights (sun-roofs). Vehicles have many of the same things: Cup holders, snack holders, volume and channel changers on the steering wheels, telephones, open windows, and sun-roofs (skylights). Vehicles, like TV rooms for comfortableness, now have all enjoyable things placed in meaningful places. Some vehicles are even equipped with a screen viewing for backing up, an automatic slow down due to slowing traffic ahead, and an alert that the driver cannot change lanes because there is a driver in his or her blind spot.
The best TV shows have no lines or distortions in the shows. Driving between the lines (not on the lines, and back and forth over the lines), parking between the lines (not on the line, or too close to one of the lines), and parking in the parking spaces (parallel or diagonally) improve comfortableness and minimizes distortions. The best shows are the ones that respect the viewer rules and desires of no viewing lines in the shows.
For the driver, one important regulator for comfortableness is the setting of the mirrors. Every driver should set the mirrors before driving, and constantly pay attention to the driving position as it relates to the positions of the mirrors. If the mirrors should appear to need adjusting during the drive, the driver may need to sit up. The driver has begun to slouch in comfortableness. Slouching leads to sleeping in front of the screen. The driver has become dangerously too comfortable. The T.V. watcher or the driver should constantly sit up for alertness and safety. The relative positions of the mirrors are reminders of alert watching.
Cautious viewing:
Just as watching too much TV can hypnotize and put a watcher to sleep, too much driving can also hypnotize and put a watcher to sleep. Both shows require revitalizing breaks. There is a possibility (extreme imagination) that too much TV can make the watcher end up where the watcher did not intend: painfully on the floor, twisted, face-down, and upside down, feet in the air, halfway in the chair, sofa, or bed. Too much driving can also place you painfully on the floor, twisted, face-down, upside down, feet in the air, halfway in your vehicle. The term "distracted driving (paying too much attention to technology)" is also in existence. Many times, some one other than the watcher has to lend a helping hand to the unfortunate watcher. Too much hypnotic or careless watching at one time can prove hazardous to a watcher's health.
Telephone or CB Benefits:
Many watchers talk on their home telephones while watching the same TV shows with friends. They enjoy the same commercials; the same senses of humor; the same sadness; the same concerns. Watchers on the highways with Citizen Band (CB) Radios also talk to each other while watching the same shows and commercials, and having the same concerns.
CBs are a good possession. CBs prevent watchers from driving alone. Watchers drive with radio passengers, which is the equivalent of having a friend or friends on the telephone during the same TV show. Immediate watching conditions, evaluated directions, restaurants, gas stations, motels, hospitals, schools, churches, and friendships are gained by riding with radio passengers who have frequented the places they recommend. Current updates and immediate hazards on the condition of the channel highways, ice on the road, gas prices, restaurant tastes and the temperament and kindness of the local residents, can be gained by riding with radio passengers. CB conversations can provide the beneficial driving TV reviews (just like the telephone conversations).
CBs, which are still available at most truck stops and a few other places, may actually be better for road conditions than cell phones and GPS units. Cell phone conversations from the other end are only responses to the driver's conversation input, and GPS units are only impersonal programs with moderate accuracies. CBs are radio passengers on the same channel, with your same sympathies and concerns, and a helpful view of the current show you are watching.
Talking on the telephone or the CB warrants caution while watching TV or driving, because both can be accident-causing distractions. Both CBs and telephones are inspiring things to possess. The radio passengers are watching for the benefit of other drivers. Good CB conversations help with comfortableness and enjoyment.
The producers:
The highway makers are the producers. Like TV producers, highway producers set the speeds for watching the shows. On the expressways (the channels within some U.S. cities) the watching speed usually drops from 70 mph (miles per hour) to 55 mph. If the traveling distance between the city's limits is a total of five miles, and the producers allow you to watch through at 60 mph (five mph over), it will only take five minutes to pass through. If passing through a city is ten miles, it will take ten minutes. If your life is so hurried that you cannot slow down for five or ten minutes, you may never enjoy the show.
Remember, producers are displeased with inappropriate watching. If you are too hurried or too stressed to slow down for a few minutes, you may be watching at the wrong times.
The producers are only looking at the best ways for you to safely enjoy the shows. The producers know that speeding, fast-forwarding, will always miss some good and beneficial commercials (roadside signs—words from the sponsor) and may cause some accidents.
The producers like TV raters have some show raters (local police, sheriffs, and state police) to give greeting cards for speeding. The purpose of the greeting cards is to remind drivers to properly watch the shows at the prescribed or programmed speeds. The greeting cards are citations for traffic violations. The citations are like V.I.P. invitations to a Broadway opening. The V.I.P. citations mean a driver has become very important to the state of legal authority. Once a driver has been profiled by many citations, some of the raters will always expect and recognize the driver's V.I.P. presence. Numerous greeting cards will always attract attention. Someone will always be watching. The producers will be pleased if you slow down for just a few safer miles and minutes, and receive no greeting cards.
Even the occasional construction areas, with the skilled construction workers and the massive machinery, should not be a source of viewing discomfort. Construction zones should not be the cause of accidents, attitudes, stress, and language changes. Construction zones should be lessons in patience, and reasons to rethink the scheduling of your shows. The construction goal of the producers is to have trained technicians clear up the channels so viewers can enjoy better shows (smoother and safer roads).
Needed and un-glamorized guardrails:
Most drivers do not order guardrails. Drivers are not looking for guardrails to hit, but every driver drives better because the guardrails exist. A guardrail does not have to be hit to be needed.
Without being hit, the guardrails remind us there are dangerous spots in the area. The guardrails remind us there are things in the show which should not be hit. The roads are safer because of guardrails. The wrong dangerous scenery is not seen because of guardrails. Many drivers are kept alive and on the road because of the firmness and positions of guardrails.
Guardrails are not a noticeable part of the TV show. They are the things in the room to protect watchers from the TV (a coffee table plus open space and seating placement). The purpose of guardrails is to keep drivers on the roads so the shows can be watched safely. Guardrails are like ushers and security guards with outstretched arms to show us the way. Guardrails keep drivers from running off of the road; from running off of sharp curves; from running into rivers; from running into bridges; from running over cliffs; from running into peoples' houses; and from running into drivers going in opposite directions. The guardrails remind us that the shows are rated for adults only. The guardrails are not noticeable and not glamorous but many times necessary.
Every place there is a dangerous spot in the scenery the producers have placed a guardrail. No one can go through a guardrail. Guardrails are reinforced and backed by strong supports. They are not pretty. Weeds grow around guardrails. The color of most guardrails is boring. The most important things in the show are not the guardrails (not the ushers, not the security guards), but the show they are guarding. The dangerous and surprising sceneries behind the guardrails are the reasons for the guardrails. The guardrails are just captions in the show. All who stay on the channel sides of the guardrails enjoy the shows.
If all drivers were expert, in perfect health, were never sleepy behind the steering wheels, drove fail-proof vehicles on blowout-proof tires, and could prevent roads from being slippery in the winter and hydroplane-causing in heavy rains, there would be no need for guardrails.
Language of the bridges:
Have we considered the bridges, blended into the highways, inconspicuous, simple, and yet majestic and faithful? The bridges aid the enjoyment of the shows. The bridges blend, stand strong and tall speaking the languages around them. The bridges assist in the understanding of the shows. Without bridges journeys could not be made, shows could not be watched.
The bridges speak two main languages. They tell us to glimpse where we came from and see where we are going. They are like TV show captions. While we hear some of the TV show, we can also read some of the language. Like a history program, the bridges speak the languages of past, present and future. To be on a bridge is to have a past behind, a present on the bridge, and a future ahead. They tell us to remember what we heard before we crossed, and listen to what we will hear after we cross.
Many times bridges take us high enough to glimpse large areas of the landscapes. They connect cities and highways across bodies of waters, and across mountains and valleys. They connect the different languages and customs of local residents from both ends. Many bridges even speak the language of the weather (some swing on windy days; some freeze and are slipperier than the roadways in winter).
The professional truck drivers:
The professional truck drivers, the drivers of the big semi tractor trailers, the big wheelers, the big rigs, drive the biggest vehicles surfing the channels. They deserve the utmost respect. Though some may be rude and bullish when it comes to CB language and driving techniques, they do not deserve rudeness and petty frustrations because they share the channels (roadways) at slower speeds and larger spaces than smaller vehicles.
America could not survive without the big rigs. All shows would be revolting without the influence of the big rigs. They bring a variety of items, such as groceries, clothing, furniture, houses, vehicles, gasoline, auto parts, computers, medical supplies, the mail and various packages, farm equipment, and many other things (including highway cements and bridges) which are important to the survival of America. The professional drivers carry nutritious commercials (advertisements) for America's survival.
When properly respected the professional truck drivers offer protection in the fog (they can see better because of sitting higher), protection in the winter storms (their tracks indicate the road is not icy), and protection from the TV raters and their V.I.P. citations by signaling the raters have a waiting and watching presence ahead.
The professional truck drivers deserve our utmost respect for their size. They also deserve our utmost respect because they provide our backbones (the majority of our needs) for enjoying the shows. And they deserve the utmost respect because they are trained professionals with the best driving records in America. All watchers should share the channels with the truckers respectfully, because we cannot live without them, and because of a by-product which could be called "Severeaccidentalconsequence-possibilities" in accidental crashes with them. There would be no shows without the professional truck drivers.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from DRIVING IS JUST LIKE WATCHING TELEVISION by Fred H. Alexander Jr.. Copyright © 2013 Fred H. Alexander Jr.. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Contents
• Driving Survey:, 2,• Introduction:, 2,
1 Channels descriptions and foundation:, 3,
2 Map and TV Guide comparison:, 5,
3 Comfortableness of the watchers:, 5,
4 Cautious viewing:, 7,
5 Telephone or CB Benefits:, 8,
6 The producers:, 9,
7 Needed and un-glamorized guardrails:, 12,
8 Language of the bridges:, 14,
9 The professional truck drivers:, 16,
10 "Road rage" is not necessary:, 17,
11 Childish watchers cannot dictate:, 20,
12 Getting lost is not a possibility:, 20,
13 A word from the sponsor:, 23,
14 Nighttime driving is great anticipation:, 26,
15 Watchers' rights to choose:, 27,
16 A walk in the park:, 27,
17 You completed your last drive:, 28,
18 Conclusion:, 28,
19 About the author (his joy of driving):, 29,
20 Glossary, 31,