Double Bind: Women on Ambition

by Robin Romm (Editor)

Overview

“Bold, absorbing, insightful, and wise. . . . Read it: the truth is inside.”— Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things

“A work of courage and ferocious honesty” (Diana Abu-Jaber), Double Bind could not come at a more urgent time. Even as major figures from Gloria Steinem to Beyoncé embrace the word “feminism,” the word “ambition” remains loaded with ambivalence. Many women see it as synonymous with strident or aggressive, yet most feel compelled to strive and achieve—the seeming contradiction leaving them in a perpetual double bind. Ayana Mathis, Molly Ringwald, Roxane Gay, and a constellation of “nimble thinkers . . . dismantle this maddening paradox” (O, The Oprah Magazine) with candor, wit, and rage. Women who have made landmark achievements in fields as diverse as law, dog sledding, and butchery weigh in, breaking the last feminist taboo once and for all. “Both intimate and scalable” (Atlantic.com), Double Bind finally seizes “ambition” from the roster of dirty words.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631494185
Publisher:	Liveright Publishing Corporation
Publication date:	02/27/2018
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	320
Sales rank:	1,096,726
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Robin Romm is the author of The Mother Garden and The Mercy Papers. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, The Atlantic, O, The Oprah Magazine, and elsewhere. She teaches at Warren Wilson College and lives in Portland, Oregon.

Table of Contents

Introduction Robin Romm

Ebenezer Laughs Back: Confessions of a Workaholic Pam Houston 5

What Came Next Theresa Rebeck 19

On Impractical Urges Ayana Mathis 31

Girl with Knife Camas Davis 45

Reply All Robin Romm 61

Nature and Nurture Marcia Chatelain 74

Crying in the Bathroom Erika L. Sánchez 82

Both Yael Chatav Schonbrun 95

No Happy Harmony Elizabeth Corey 107

Leaning In, Leaning Out Allison Barrett Carter 120

The Price of Black Ambition Roxane Gay 129

Escape Velocity Claire Vaye Watkins 139

Single Lead Blair Braverman 153

The Chang Girls Lan Samantha Chang 162

Goal Your Own Way Evany Thomas 171

Astronauts Nadia P. Manzoor 184

The Snarling Girl: Notes on Ambition Elisa Albert 193

Ambitchin' Julie Holland 213

Original Sin Francine Prose 225

Know Your Place Molly Ringwald 233

Ambition: The Clifhe Notes Joan Leegant 240

Doubly Denied Cristsna Henríquez 253

Becoming Meta Hawa Allan 265

Letters to My Mother and Daughters on Ambition Sarah Ruhl 281

Contributor Biographies 293

Acknowledgments 303

Editorial Reviews

"Women today have been told that they can ‘have it all,’ but novelist and essayist Romm presents a collection of essays that reveals that the reality is much more complex. . . . Raw, frank, and utterly relatable, this collection is a must-read."

Booklist (starred review) - Kristine Huntley

"Wonderful, readable stories that are as complex and compelling as their authors. Double Bind raises as many questions as it provides answers, but they are questions that women and men with wives, sisters, and daughters should be pondering."

Anne Marie Slaughter

01/09/2017
In this illuminating collection of essays, editor Romm (The Mercy Papers) brings together the voices of successful professional women, including writers, actors, CEOs, and even a dogsled racer to discuss what it means to be an ambitious woman. Novelist Claire Vaye Watkins touchingly relates a bittersweet return to her hometown of Pahrump, Nev., where she encounters a younger version of herself, “a chronic overachiever... seventeen-year-old college senior... stalking a Fulbright,” in other words a small fish desperate for a bigger pond. Cultural critic Roxane Gay writes about the “whispers of affirmative action” that have followed her through her many achievements. Playwright Sarah Ruhl pens a pair of eloquent and heartfelt epistles, one to her mother and one to her daughters, that explore the difference between having “ambition” and having “a mission.” There are some fairly provocative arguments as well. One woman insists on a biological determinism that makes women nurturers, claiming that feminism’s striving toward political equality is misguided. Another declares that ambition is fundamentally “patriarchal.” A psychologist argues that a woman’s emotions, far from being a detriment in the workplace, actually provide a “vital feedback system that the corporate world needs.” While not an advice book in the traditional form, the experiences recounted and lessons learned seep as if by osmosis, and Romm’s thoughtful aggregation has provided a diversity of voices, including many women of color, first-generation immigrants, and women pursuing careers in male-dominated fields. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

"Robin Romm has assembled a terrific group of writers to explore an essential and durable topic. Double Bind is always engaging."

Meg Wolitzer

"On one hand, women are told to claim their seat at the table and run the world. On the other, society still synonymizes female ambition with bitchiness. Essays by nimble thinkers from Roxane Gay to Molly Ringwald explore and dismantle this maddening paradox."

The Oprah Magazine O

"Ambition will always be complicated for women, and not just because of external impediments: it is an imperfect drive, enacted in imperfect circumstances, that inevitably leads to imperfect things. The more compelling essays in Double Bind address this head on."

NewYorker.com - Jia Tolentino

"This vital book is full of the true, brave voices of women who’ve accomplished great things despite living in a culture that pays lip service to the notion of women’s full humanity but still does so much to hold us back—including, not incidentally, teaching us to hate and doubt ourselves. Now more than ever, these stories need to be read."

Emily Gould

"In essays that are bold, absorbing, insightful, and wise, the writers in Double Bind explore the complicated realities of what it means to be an ambitious woman today. I was enthralled by this important book, and moved too. I want to press it into the hands of everyone I know and say, Read it: the truth is inside."

Cheryl Strayed

"Daring, wonderfully readable, and packed with truth. Double Bind is a work of courage and ferocious honesty. A book to inspire us now and the generations of ambitious women to come."

Diana Abu-Jaber

"I read this book from cover to cover on two plane flights, and I instantly felt welcomed into my tribe of women struggling with ambition. Some of these women want ambition; some do not. Some are polite and demur in their expressions of ambition; others are ballsy (!) and forward. Some of the women feel supported in their pursuit of ambition; others struggle alone. Listening to the voices of all these women, I felt embraced and understood."

Kara Cooney

"The animating ethos of Double Bind is that there is soft political power in the discussions it offers—in stories that are both intimate and scalable. The book is dedicated to giving voice to a problem, thus humanizing it—and thus, also, productively re-complicating it."

Atlantic.com - Megan Garber

03/01/2017
Developed and curated by Romm (The Mercy Papers), this book of 24 commissioned essays ponders many ways successful women struggle with ambition, both conceptually and in their own lived experiences. An array of notable contributors including novelists Roxane Gay and Francine Prose, actress Molly Ringwald, food writer Camas Davis, dogsled racer Blair Braverman, and playwright Sarah Ruhl offer incisive, sometimes visceral takes on this fraught topic. Many point to the conundrum of aspiring to succeed in work and social cultures that remain sexist and racist. Others speak of a deeply felt ambivalence born of family realities, external expectations, and personal hopes, especially the incompatible needs, desires, and skills of professional or artistic success and of motherhood. Several contributors build on or critique Sheryl Sandberg's influential book, Lean In. The career of Hillary Clinton is another touchstone (the essays were written before the 2016 presidential election). VERDICT Collectively, the high-achieving contributors seem uneasy with the concept and reality of ambition, revealing a sweeping range of responses including rage, distaste, resilience, courage, and hard-won (and perhaps still vulnerable) triumph. This book is certain to provoke reflection and discussion. [See Prepub Alert, 10/10/16.]--Janet Ingraham Dwyer, State Lib. of Ohio, Columbus

Library Journal

2017-01-31
Romm (MFA Program/Warren Wilson Coll.; The Mercy Papers: A Memoir of Three Weeks, 2009, etc.) gathers essays by successful women about the meaning of ambition in their lives.In this collection, women from professions as varied as teaching, writing, acting, butchering, and dog sledding discuss "the double bind" of female ambition. While many among them have desired success, ambition has been accompanied by ambivalence regarding "impulses and actions…that felt less pretty or tidy than the façade they wanted to project." Clinical psychologist and professor Yael Chatav Schonbrun, for example, focuses on the sacrifices she made to be a researcher and mother. "The concepts of ‘ambitious' and ‘part time' seem to be a schematic mismatch," she writes, an idea political science professor Elizabeth Corey echoes in her essay, "No Happy Harmony." For her, the work/life double bind for women gives rise to a "conflict in the soul [that] does not go away." Writer Ayana Mathis discusses how, as a black woman, being ambitious is not just a matter of "leaning in." It is about learning how to navigate success that is not a given because of her social and ethnic identity. Actress Molly Ringwald reveals how outspokenness about her desire for stardom garnered criticism to "know [her] place." Hollywood ageism ultimately limited her acting ambitions but also freed her to pursue other interests. By contrast, former magazine editor Camas Davis learned butchery out of a need to reinvent herself after job loss. The fact that "no one had ever bothered to…assess [her] skills," however, made Davis feel like an imposter who could not fully embrace her eventual notoriety. Musher Blair Braverman's relationship to ambition came as a surprise. She writes that although she started out as a dog handler, a desire to win races in a male-dominated sport invigorated her. Romm's collection, which also includes contributions from Roxane Gay, Francine Prose, and others, is a welcome addition to the discourse on a topic that rarely receives the kind of honest and wide-ranging consideration these essays offer. A thoughtfully provocative anthology.

Kirkus Reviews